BEST OF captain beefheart & the magic band
the virgin & liberty years
england 2002 ceedee emi 5 39383 2
2 tracks unconditionally guaranteed 1974
3 tracks bluejeans and moonbeams 1974
2 tracks shiny beast (bat chain puller) 1978
3 tracks doc at the radar station 1980
3 tracks ice cream for crow 1982
this is the most ridiculously titled beefheart compilation of all time! anyone who's a bit familiar with the captain's catalogue knows that two of the records this selection was taken from outbeat all other albums by several lengths when it comes to being the wórst music don van vliet ever made. with five such tracks gathered on this album - almost a third of it! - the people who compiled this weird collection must be mad, or something worse like money addicted: 'unconditionally guaranteed' and 'bluejeans and moonbeams' in no way represent the unique way in which beefheart 'painted out' his music.
actually, éverything on this selection is wrong or at least dubious. first: with such a false start the rest of the ceedee never can make its promised title come true, even if they had filled it with the complete 'trout mask replica'. second: 'best of' suggests that this 'greatest hits' are selected from áll of his records. next: the tracks that passed the audition tend to be 'easy listening' tunes rather than the more difficult ones the captain is famous for. so, no 'beatle bones 'n' smokin' stones', 'making love to a vampire with a monkey on my knee' or 'semi-multicoloured caucasian', for instance.
the sub-title 'the virgin & liberty years' is not fully true too, as it shrouds the fact that half of the albums were licensed releases in stead of own (risky) productions. another mystery is why mike barnes, the writer of a very serious book about the captain, stooped to writing some liner notes for this not so serious ceedee.
no, this random selection gives a wrong and incomplete idea about don van vliet's unique musical paintings. i wish emi (present with the oldest album) and virgin (the other five) never accidentally had run into each other in that pub where they drank too much and decided to join forces for this misleading compilation. i'm even totally amazed why they forgot there already exists a 'best of' album: the anthology the dust blows forward....
in the unlikely case you're still interested, this ceedee contains the following songs:
3 tracks STRICTLY PERSONAL
safe as milk
gimme dat harp boy
2 tracks UNCONDITIONALLY GUARANTEED
upon the my-o- my
new electric ride
3 tracks BLUEJEANS AND MOONBEAMS
party of special things to do
twist ah luck
bluejeans and moonbeams
2 tracks SHINY BEAST (BAT CHAIN PULLER)
the floppy boot stomp
bat chain puller
3 tracks DOC AT THE RADAR STATION
run paint run run
3 tracks ICE CREAM FOR CROW
ice cream for crow
the past sure is tense
the witch doctor life
MY CONCLUSION: so stupid, simply ignore it
STOP! mind the NEXT TRICK!
you don't believe me, but one year after the release of this useless disc the same concept and half of this sampler suddenly returned in a 'remake' which you don't need to buy too:
HOT HEAD introducing... captain beefheart (the liberty and virgin recordings)
click clack to the power station, the news or the other RE-RELEASES
captain beefheart electricity
as felt by teejo