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Jesus MIA
by Ted L Glines
Churches (and religions) are committees of men who have set themselves up to administrate the things of God, and they are in no way qualified to assume this "expert" position. Their very statement that "God is beyond all human understanding" (we have heard this from many pulpits) disqualifies them from putting words into Jesus's and God's "mouth." And these disqualified men are the ones who wrote the Gospel!
Years ago (before the internet), people went to church for fellowship and to be somewhat united in a common code of ethics and morality, and the churches were active in helping (as needed) in their communities. Now, we see churches which no longer help in their communities, and we see ministers who are dressed out like New York City pimps, living high on the hog. And the people are far more worldly educated now. Many of them are turning away from the Church and finding their own way back to God.
Perhaps this is a message being sent to the Churches ... by God.
Fear. "Fear" is a "hell" of a word. I think respect, or awe, might be a better word(s), because I would not go near a Deity if I was scared to death of Him/Her. I do see a relative connection between respect/awe/love, but I see no connection between fear/love.
"Fear" (plus misinformation) is an observable way to keep collection-plates full, and maybe education has stunted the pulpit-ability to dose people with fear, and maybe this is a component of the church dropout rate. But I think that the main cause of the church dropout rate is simply that the world is moving on and is socially evolving away from a pulpit-need in life.
From the pulpits, we hear blurry homilies which really say nothing. Trouble seems to be that most "thumpers" do not want to read those segments of Biblical text which call for thinking or action (and there are many).
I am director of M-2 Match-Two Mentoring Outreach, a non-profit corporation here in Texas, which is all about one-on-one mentoring of convicts and parolees - to lead them away from being repeat offenders. It works because we work closely with them, and 70% of our mentees do not re-offend. Here in Bowie County, Texas, we have 700+ plus churches. Out of all these, only three churches have rolled up their sleeves to assist in this effort. What of the other 697+ churches? Well, several have thrown money at the problem. Their pulpit-homily preachers have never preached all the way to the end of Matthew 25, where "visiting the prisoners" is clearly mandated - along with penalties for failing to do so.
Last Sunday, Patty called me from Paducah, Kentucky, telling me that her friend (and the friend's daughter) had dropped in after church. They were sobbing. Humiliated. As they were leaving after the service, the minister had pulled them aside, saying that "if they couldn't dress better," they would not be welcome anymore. (?) Patty said that the two were dressed okay, and clean, even if their dresses were not high-dollar fashion statements. I guess that minister forgot the kind of people Jesus hung out with, among other things.
What we are seeing (everywhere) is that ministers are no longer saying what Jesus said, and they are no longer doing what Jesus did. Maybe they are too concerned with appearances, maybe too much heaven on their minds (in too many communities which have very real needs which are not being served). All across America, people are leaving the church in droves (plain contemporary statistics). Connect the dots.
The things Jesus said were controversial. The things Jesus did were controversial. Our current crop of ministers/priests are losing the church! Why?
It is high time for the Shepherds to lead their flocks again. Jesus was about sharing and helping, not about shearing and predation.
Two young missionaries knocked on my door last week. Starched and pressed white shirts and black ties, and black slacks with creases which would have cut steaks. Briefcases. One of the bright young fellows, with a huge toothy smile, exclaimed, “Have you found Jesus?” I struck my best shocked expression and said, “Have you lost Him again? How damned clumsy of you!” I think I may have ruined that young man's day. You see, he was not about preaching what Jesus said nor about doing what Jesus did; this young missionary was about script, and no one had coached him on the script for this arena. Our current crop of ministers (mostly) are about script; about homilies; about dodging issues; about “proper dress code”; about locking the sanctuary doors on weekdays; about not being controversial; about collection-plate (box office) economics; about being everything that Jesus was not.
I still remember from when I was a young boy, when Stanley Reed, our Methodist minister, would come out to our farm when my folks were sick, and he would roll up his sleeves and do our needed chores, and grandma would cook supper for him and us, and we would share fellowship around the fire of common need.Prayers were real in those days.
Whatever happened to Jesus? If you see Him, please tell Him I miss Him ...
Directly above is the Logo for the
Aryan Nation
world-wide umbrella-group which promotes
racism and terrorist activities,
and the Aryan Nation
does all this under the guise
of being a Christian organization.
This is why we cannot allow
human beings to administrate
the things of God.
Woeful Joe
by Ted L Glines
Woeful tale? Ya jus don't know
'til ya hear the yarn 'bout Woeful Joe.
He was born one mornin' in forty-two
an' his parents took off - left no clue,
left him to fend however he might
an' nothin' in life ever worked out right.
Raised in the back of a pickup truck
by a rodeo bum whose life did suck.
Well, I told you Joe jus' had no luck,
he fell out the back of that pickup truck,
bounced an' flopped an' finally landed
an' the truck kept goin' - Joe was stranded.
He finally made it to some city
an' his life continued - more's the pity.
He found a job - sittin' outside,
tin cup an' pencils by his side,
beggin' coins 'til the day he died,
scribbling poems on scraps of trash
an' plannin' to eat if he got some cash.
Now...
He weren't handsome by any means,
about as purty as a sack of beans,
he wanted gals but they'd refuse,
they only wanted to hear his muse;
the only man he ever knew
who remained a virgin at sixty-two.
Wrote tons of poems but never got paid,
knew scads of women but never got laid,
Joe didn't know what he'd done wrong
to deserve this life - a sad sad song.
When Joe died ...
Holes in his britches - holes in his sox,
no money to pay for plot or box,
none of this funeral window-dressin'
an' only his muse to pass a blessin'.
They buried Joe in a garbage bag
in a landfill spot - no stone or flag,
no one came to cry or mourn,
he died as he lived - unseen - but scorned.
Sometimes in the fog at the city dump
you can hear his voice an' somethin' goes “bump”
an' you'll think you're crazy at those times
'cause no one's there - speaking those rhymes.
An' times when the wind is sighin' low
it seems to be sayin' “Oh woe, oh woe.”
Jus' singin' the song of Woeful Joe.
I have always wondered, when a homeless person dies, what happens to the body? Is it buried? Where? Does his muse say the eulogy? Where are the churchy people when we need them? It is the poet who touches the socially untouchable ... and that shames us all.
Church Challenge
by Ted L Glines
We are in the beginning of the Twenty-First Century. The Internet rules. Court findings are chasing the Ten Comandments out of our schools and government places. As a whole, the Church is taking a beating. Churches, especially the more liberal ones, are losing congregation members in droves. As the collection plate depletes, so does the Church.
We are hearing murmurs (sometimes shouts) of anti-Church “conspiracy” levied against our government; our legislature, our judicial system. In the newspaper this morning, there was a report of a speaker touring the country, lecturing to students in colleges and high schools, with his message being “Your generation will be the most affluent generation in the history of America. Your destinies will be the future of our nation, so you must march forward with Jesus as your guide.” Statistics puts a problem on his plate.
Of our young Americans, only 4% read the Bible. In the next generation back (their parents), 35% read the Bible. We are seeing a massive drop-off (drop out) of Bible impact in America. This drop-off is causing a massive Church knee-jerk.
And I have to pause on his “affluent” notation. The Church has definite collection-plate issues.
Do Bible stories have any important impact on the Internet world of our Twenty-First century? The Ten Commandments and the Golden Rule comprise an ethical code and simple morality which parents (hopefully) teach to their progeny (with or without assistance from Bible references). The quotes from Jesus contain many great wisdoms, but these wisdoms are part of our parental and social experience. I am not sure that we need the Bible to “tell us so.”
Much of the current knee-jerk controversy seems to center on three Latin phrases which are found on the Great Seal of the United States, as if these phrases somehow attack the Church. These phrases do not, in any way, attack the Church. In high optimism, our founding fathers were approving phrases which (like magick - they hoped) would grow a nation out of so many chaotic individuals, a daunting task. I am sure if those founding fathers could come forward to critique us, they would say that they find more invention than progress. And I am sure they would not understand nor condone the Church knee-jerks.
The Great Seal of the United States does contain three Latin phrases:
“E Pluribus Unum” (Latin) means “One out of Many” (the motto of the US). Very simple. Many individuals. Several colonies. One Nation.
“Annuit Coeptis” (Latin) means “God favors our undertakings... ” If anything, this phrase glorifies God. In a way, it is amazing that our founding fathers included this phrase because, at that point in their history, the Church was a very hotly controversial topic.
“Novus Ordo Seclorum” (Latin) means “New Order of the Ages”- appears (with the two Latin phrases above) on the Great Seal of the United States, first designed in 1782 and printed on the back of the American dollar bill since 1935. It also appears on the coat of arms of the Yale School of Management, Yale University's business school. It is often mistranslated as "New World Order", but the Latin for that phrase would be Novus Ordo Mundi. It is sometimes mistranslated as “New Secular Order” by those wishing to put their own political spin on a simply legal issue. They need to go back to school and upgrade their translation skills.
So, there is no governmental “conspiracy” against the Church. If a sculpture of the Ten Commandments cannot reside in a court building, I am going to say that the sculpture of the Ten Commandments would be best placed in a Church setting. I am perfectly okay with Church and State being seperated in all ways. I want for the State to make the laws, execute the laws, and adjudicate those laws. I want for the Church to be about God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit, and this is way and above the level of the State. Church and State have different functions.
For the Church, the challenge is truly simple. Stop trying to be all things to all people. The liberal shepherds have lost their sheep. Return to an orthodox presentation of Jesus, His teachings, and His works. Cleanse the clergy of predators and other abusers. Stop worrying about Creation versus Evolution and realize that these are simply two scripts for the same Godly play. Let your collection plate gather its coins based upon your good works. Risky business, but that is the challenge for our Church, today.
When I was growing up in the little town of Half Moon Bay, California, we had a minister named Stanley Reed. This was a small farm town. If Mom or Dad was sick, Stanley Reed would come out to the farm and do the needed work. Stanley Reed did what Jesus would have done, and this meant a lot to us. On Sundays, Stanley Reed preached a good sermon, but, on Mondays through Saturdays, Stanley Reed did the work that Jesus would have done. We were devout because of Stanley Reed.
I know many people who would love to belong to a deeply meaningful Church where they could feel safe and loved and where they would feel close to God. If a Church is open only on Sundays, then there are six days out of every seven when that Church has no meaning for its congregation.
The clear challenge for the Church is to create and maintain a Church which is meaninful in the community; meaningful in its religious and spiritual nurturing, and meaningful in its support of those who congregate. Does that mean we have to clone Stanley Reed?
This is another story especially created for a friend's fantasy Website. The main points of the story are adapted from the mythology of a Pacific Coast American Indian tribe, and it was one of the very few "dying God" myths. Their use of the condor remains a mystery, since this tribe was said to have migrated down into North America from the north ...
CondorWings the Guardian
by Ted L Glines
In the beginning, the Great Old Dragon created the Heavens full of universes and stars and moons and planets. The Great Old Dragon used the essense of Himself in creating this awesome work. Thus, in the fullness of time, the Great Old Dragon became depleted. After creating this world, its oceans and mountains and forests and deserts and rivers and lakes, the Great Old Dragon used the very last bit of Himself to create Condor, and He gave this command to Condor: “Condor, you will fly all over the surface of this world, and you will create all the living things, both great and small, both dark and light, and you will cause them to rise up and multiply so that they will fully use and appreciate what I have made.” Then the Great Old Dragon went to His rest, and it was good.
Thus it was fulfilled that Condor created all the living things, great and small, dark and light, in the Name of the Great Old Dragon, and he saw that it was good. And, as guardians, Condor created his sons, commanding them to protect the living things and preserve the balance between dark and light, for without the balance of dark and light, there can be no life.
I am CondorWings, the eldest son of Condor, and my life is spent flying high above and seeing all below, to protect and serve in the Name of the Great Old Dragon and my father.
Zealot
by Ted L Glines
Viewing Zealot as a human character type is like trying to make a psychotic seem logical. That is what we do when we view anything; we try to make it fit into a mental category which makes sense to us.
An Arabic terrorist will strap explosives to his body and detonate himself in the midst of a crowd of Baghdad police trainees. Why? Because the budding police establishment of Baghdad is supporting the new-found representative republican form of government which will certainly destroy the power-base of the old theocratic governmental regime. The terrorist will detonate himself in the midst of shoppers or worshippers because those people support the new and threatening form of government, or perhaps because they represent an “enemy” religious sect. The terrorist will die flying a plane into an American building because that building represents American money which is being used to destroy the old theocratic ways of the Middle East.
Shiites and Sunnis will not debate policy like Democrats and Republicans, because Middle Eastern policies are mandated by their religious leaders. For thousands of years, since before the texts of the Old Testament were written, theocracy has ruled the Middle East with an iron fist. Iran equips and trains the terrorists. Local Arabic religious leaders direct the attacks. The terrorist is a Zealot. He will willingly die (a hero) because he believes his cause is righteous.
Here in America, we teach that Church and State must be kept seperate, a viewpoint which is diametrically opposed to Middle Eastern thought. Because of this opposition, Arabic people believe that Americans are heretics. It is this level of zealous thinking which drives the terrorists and their religious leaders. To the Arabic peoples, our American sectarian form of government is anti-God (Allah), and they are currently reacting to our attempt to impose our anti-God government upon them. By understanding this, we begin to see some logic emerging from the chaos of their Zealot actions.
For every one of the terrorists which we kill, ten more will be recruited, trained, equipped, and sent into this fight. Anytime you hear a politician or other public figure say that we will win the war on terror, you are hearing American nonsense. Where is our leverage? How does one punish a detonated Zealot? How does one locate the miriad of terrorist cells which are training for assigned events in the cities of our world? This is not a war we are in any way equipped to win, because there are so few known targets to be captured or destroyed. Once we come to understand the secrecy and total determination of the Zealot, our soldiers on the ground will be replaced by human intelligence operatives in the cities and by special SWAT teams equipped to do surgical strike operations against located terrorist cells.
To understand the logic and the modus operandi of the Zealot is to understand that the face of war is changing, and we must change with it. The alternative is unacceptable.
Compatible Science and Religion
by Ted L Glines
The Big Bang Theory is the “gospel” of physical scientists and astronomers, who also say it proves that the Creation in the Book of Genesis is absurd. On the other side of the highly educated coin, theologians claim that the Creation story in Genesis is true, and therefore the Big Bang Theory is (again?) absurd. This has been THE debate raging for many years. Oh, there are other debates, but this one has been the main event.
I am reminded of the story about the Catholic priest who was hotly arguing with an Arabic Imam. The Arabic holy man screamed, “Allahhu akbar min kulli shay!” In hot disagreement, the Catholic priest yelled, ”No! God is greater than everything!” It is plain to see that these two experts will never agree.
The Arabic phrase, “Allahhu akbar min kulli shay” means “God is greater than everything!” In the English language, the word to name the Creator is “God.” In the Arabic language, the word to name the same Creator is “Allah.” Arabic Christians worship “Allah” as it is written in their Arabic language Bibles. So our two experts are both saying exactly the same thing. Why wouldn't they be aware of this? The simple answer rests in the way we translate Arabic sentences into English. The above phrase, “Allahhu akbar min kulli shay” will be translated into English thusly as “Allah is greater than everything,” and you, the English reader, are left to presume (deliberately?) that the Arab is worshiping some different (therefore bad) Deity. As a character said in an old prison movie, “What we have here is ... a failure to communicate.” And we can find the same failure to communicate in the Creation versus Big Bang debate.
In the Biblical Creation account in Genesis, God started with nothing and created the Universe from it. In the scientific Big Bang, there was a concentrated source of energy which “exploded” to create the Universe. Two ways of saying exactly the same thing. But the really absurd thing is that the Creationists are arguing vehemently against the Big Bang theory, when that argument was laid to rest by a Catholic priest in 1927.
Father Georges-Henri Lemaître (July 17, 1894 – June 20, 1966) was a Belgian Roman Catholic priest, honorary prelate, professor of physics, and an astronomer.
Fr. or Msgr. Lemaître proposed what became known as the Big Bang theory of the origin of the Universe, although he called it his 'hypothesis of the primeval atom'. He based his theory, first presented in 1927, and published in the pages of Nature in 1931, on the laws of relativity set forth by Einstein, among others.
Edwin Hubble, world-renowned American astronomer, provided an observational basis for Lemaître's theory two years later.
Lemaître's proposal of the Big Bang theory completely validated the Creation account in Genesis. But someone apparently forgot to tell the religious and scientific fans of debate. Even today, you can hear them: “Your Creation story is absurd!” And, “Your Big Bang theory is absurd!” Like the Arabic Imam and the Catholic priest, they are both defending the exact same concept, but something slipped in the translation and they are still failing to communicate.
One problem still stymies the scientists in their attempt to measure the Big Bang right from the beginning. Their mathematical equations hold true for most of the way as they reverse the expanding Universe, and contract it back toward its Big Bang beginning, to approach that point when/where there was nothing but an energy source.
That nothing-point is called a singularity. As they mathmatically compress the Universe toward that nothing-point, or singularity, their mathematical equations fall apart because, as the compressing Universe closely approaches singularity, it's mass becomes infinite and unmeasurable. Thusfar, it is impossible to measure that which is infinite.
Compared to religion, science as we know it is quite young. Give them time; time to learn that their infinite and unmeasurable “singularity” is ... God. This is a concept which is beyond simple understanding. God is like that.
In a grammar school, somewhere in Texas, a teacher is painstakingly gluing a section of pages together. It is a basic science textbook. Those pages discuss the Big Bang theory.
Sponsors
Demons
by Ted L Glines
"Demons exist!" "Demons do not exist!" "I do not know if demons exist." Most individuals seem to take a stance somewhere in the midst of these three opinions. The Roman Catholic Church believes in demons. Wiccans do not believe in demons (they say). Agnostics simply do not know. Which one is right?
By Papal decree, the Roman Catholic Church declares its strong belief in demons in its recent re-writing and re-affirmation of its ancient Ritual of Exorcism. You may review the full text of this by clicking the link beneath this article. Demons are declared to be fallen angels (satanic) and are believed to be capable of possessing your mind and body. Only one out of 5,000 claimed "possessions" are real, with the remaining 4,999 chalked up to delusion and mental illness. For the sake of that one real possession, the Rite of Exorcism exists to "surgically" excise a demon from your life.
Wiccans do not believe in the existence of satan or demons. Perhaps I should say that this opinion reflects the viewpoint of all of the Wiccans I have known, and this includes a large number of friends known down through the years. However, when we closely read the core document of Wicca, we perceive somewhat of a problem:
The Wiccan Rede
(Full Version)
Bide within the Law you must, in perfect Love and perfect Trust.
Live you must and let to live, fairly take and fairly give.
For tread the Circle thrice about to keep unwelcome spirits out.
To bind the spell well every time, let the spell be said in rhyme.
Light of eye and soft of touch, speak you little, listen much.
Honor the Old Ones in deed and name,
let love and light be our guides again.
Deosil go by the waxing moon, chanting out the joyful tune.
Widdershins go when the moon doth wane,
and the werewolf howls by the dread wolfsbane.
When the Lady's moon is new, kiss the hand to Her times two.
When the moon rides at Her peak then your heart's desire seek.
Heed the North winds mighty gale, lock the door and trim the sail.
When the Wind blows from the East, expect the new and set the feast.
When the wind comes from the South, love will kiss you on the mouth.
When the wind whispers from the West, all hearts will find peace and rest.
Nine woods in the Cauldron go, burn them fast and burn them slow.
Birch in the fire goes to represent what the Lady knows.
Oak in the forest towers with might, in the fire it brings the God's
insight. Rowan is a tree of power causing life and magick to flower.
Willows at the waterside stand ready to help us to the Summerland.
Hawthorn is burned to purify and to draw faerie to your eye.
Hazel-the tree of wisdom and learning adds its strength to the bright fire burning.
White are the flowers of Apple tree that brings us fruits of fertility.
Grapes grow upon the vine giving us both joy and wine.
Fir does mark the evergreen to represent immortality seen.
Elder is the Lady's tree burn it not or cursed you'll be.
Four times the Major Sabbats mark in the light and in the dark.
As the old year starts to wane the new begins, it's now Samhain.
When the time for Imbolc shows watch for flowers through the snows.
When the wheel begins to turn soon the Beltane fires will burn.
As the wheel turns to Lamas night power is brought to magick rite.
Four times the Minor Sabbats fall use the Sun to mark them all.
When the wheel has turned to Yule light the log the Horned One rules.
In the spring, when night equals day time for Ostara to come our way.
When the Sun has reached it's height time for Oak and Holly to fight.
Harvesting comes to one and all when the Autumn Equinox does fall.
Heed the flower, bush, and tree by the Lady blessed you'll be.
Where the rippling waters go cast a stone, the truth you'll know.
When you have and hold a need, harken not to others greed.
With a fool no season spend or be counted as his friend.
Merry Meet and Merry Part bright the cheeks and warm the heart.
Mind the Three-fold Laws you should three times bad and three times good.
When misfortune is enow wear the star upon your brow.
Be true in love this you must do unless your love is false to you.
These Eight words the Rede fulfill:
"An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will"
It can be seen, in some of the Rede’s cautions, that there is an effort to put up defenses against harmful (demonic?) forces. Also, in many lessor rituals in Wicca, such as cleansing and warding, we see defenses against negative (possibly demonic) powers. However, the Rede is a beautiful poem.
The Wiccan Rede is a verse written by Gerald Gardner and Doreen Valiente that was formulated to sum up the ethics of the neo-Pagan religion Wicca. The most common form of the Rede is: An it harm none, do what ye will. "Rede" is a word from Middle-English meaning "advice" or "counsel."
Thus, in considering the existence of demons, we find ourselves remaining on ground which is less than solid. Perhaps the most intelligent stance may be the agnostic "I don’t know."
Them Golden Streets
by Ted L Glines
Don't want no gays no blacks
sittin' in my pew,
just let me walk with Jesus
like the other Baptists do.
We sing so loud and righteous
our zeal is surely blessed,
our souls are godly pure
and our virtue is the best.
Don't want no raghead Arabs
in my store or in the schools
'cause there ain't no god named Allah;
... just some more of Satan's tools.
God says we shalt not kill
(our righteous Baptist brothers),
so Onward Christian Soldiers,
let's Crusade against the others.
Don't want no Wiccan witches
in my church or in my town,
I'm sure that my friend Jesus
toasts them sinners with a frown.
Gonna look for my Salvation
and my Pastor shows the way,
"Get your hoods and get your guns,
Oh my Brothers, let us prey ..."
Gonna wear my golden slippers
when I walk that golden street,
Halleluya -- Southern Baptists,
clap your hands and feel the heat.
In His House are many mansions,
and I'm sure that you can tell
that I've got my reservations
for the mansion known as Hell.
Author's Notes: Sometimes, when you want to emphasize a wrongness, it is best to express it from the Wrongness point of view, rather than the weaker position of just talking bad about the wrongness. The thoughts and opinions in this poem are exactly what I hear expressed in my little East Texas home town. "Get your hoods and get your guns ..." is about three KKK members that I know. Two of them are respected businessmen, and the third is a Pastor. But that is how it is in this little "Bible Belt" town, and I hope I have captured their essence, as any poet should.
SpiderWoman
by Ted L Glines
Come my darlings - come to me,
so many dreams and visions to see,
come - let's play all through the night,
singing and dancing til dawning light.
I'll tell you a story and maybe a rhyme
to spin you to sleep in the muse sublime,
you'll never leave - you've sipped my brew,
come to my arms - I'm waiting for you.
My magick spell is breathing your name,
so come and play my heavenly game,
come to me now - for it is willed,
and all of your dreams will be fulfilled.
I made Creation only for thee,
the stars and the planets for you to see,
the eagle and salmon - mountain and lake,
all these boons for your pleasure to take.
Cleanse your body - open your soul,
once incomplete - I will make you whole,
come dance with Wolf in my web of truth
and relearn the ways of eternal youth.
Rejoin The People - dancing free,
flying the spiral - coming to me,
no more confusion - no more to roam,
at last my Sibling - you're coming home.
Singing and dancing til dawning light,
come - let's play all through the night,
so many dreams and visions to see,
come my darlings - come to me.
Author's Notes: "Navajo-Spider Women, a sacred being who taught the Navajo how to weave blankets so they could survive the cold during their winter in North American. Long before people wrote them down, legends passed orally from one generation to the next, so many different versions of Spider Woman's story exist today." ~Shi Dine Chat
What is God's Name?
What Church does God Attend?
There have always been those who claimed that their church was the Chosen Church.
As if God belonged to this one church.
You are the one who belongs to a church.
All of the churches belong to God.
Drawn from many data bases, the following
is a listing of religious and mythological deities
from all around the world and from
different times in history.
Some support multiple unique gods
while others worship one god
with many names (attributes).
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THE GODS OF AUSTRALIA NAMES OF ABORIGINAL GODS NAMES OF AUSTRALIAN ABORIGINAL GODS AUSTRALIAN & NEW ZEALAND GODS OCEANIC PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES OCEANIC PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES POLYNESIAN MYTHOLOGY HAWAIIAN GODS AND GODDESSES GODS AND GODDESSES OF HAWAII HAWAIIAN GODS AND GODDESSES HAWAIIAN GODS NAMES OF GODDESSES OF POLYNESIA GODDESSES OF SAMOA MICRONESIAN GODS INDIA'S GODS & GODDESSES INDIAN GODDESSES INDIAN GODS HINDU GODS & GODDESSES HINDU GODS HINDU GODDESSES MAJOR HINDU DEITIES HINDU - MINOR DEITIES HINDU RELIGIOUS AND MYTHICAL LEADERS GODDESSES OF INDIA NAMES OF HINDU DEMONS THE ANIMAL DEITIES SUMERIAN GODS & GODDESSES SOUTH-EAST ASIAN GODDESSES GODDESSES NAMES OF THE NEAR-EAST REALM ASIAN GODS ASIAN GODDESSES GODDESSES OF THE PHILIPPINES CHINESE GODS & GODDESSES CHINESE GODS CHINESE PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES CHINESE PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES NAMES OF CHINESE GODDESSES CHINESE DEITIES GODDESSES OF CHINA THE GODS AND GODDESSES OF CHINA THE GODS OF CHINESE MYTHOLOGY JAPANESE GODS AND GODDESSES NAMES OF GODDESSES OF JAPAN JAPANESE GODS & THEIR ASSOCIATES JAPANESE GODS NAMES JAPANESE PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES JAPANESE DEITIES THE GODS AND GODDESSES OF JAPAN SHINTO GODS GODDESSES OF JAPAN NAMES OF JAPANESE GODS NAMES FROM JAPANESE MYTHOLOGY JAPANESE PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES GODS OF JAPAN GODDESSES OF KOREA FILIPINO GODS & GODDESSES GODDESSES OF THE PHILIPPINES NAMES OF GODDESSES OF THE MIDDLE EAST NAMES OF GODDESSES OF INDIA/TIBET/NEPAL GODDESSES OF TIBET HIMALAYAN GODDESSES SOUTH EAST ASIAN GODS & THEIR ASSOCIATES CENTRAL WEST ASIAN GODS & THEIR ASSOCIATES MIDDLE EASTERN DEITIES NORSE GODS & GODDESSES NORSE GODS, GODDESSES, GIANTS, DWARVES & WIGHTS NORSE GODS AND MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURES NORSE GODS & GODDESSES NORSE GODS & MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURES ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF THE GODS NORSE GODS & GODDESSES NORSE GODDESSES NORDIC/TEUTONIC GODS LIST OF GODS AND GODDESSES FROM THE VIKINGS THE GODS AND GODDESSES OF AFRICA AFRICAN GODS & GODDESSES LIST OF GODS AND GODDESSES FROM AFRICA AFRICAN GODDESSES AFRICAN PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES GODDESSES OF AFRICA NAMES OF AFRICAN GODDESSES AFRICAN DEITIES AFRICAN GODS AFRICAN GODDESSES AFRICAN GODS OF MYTHOLOGY NAMES FROM NORTH AMERICAN INDIAN MYTHOLOGY CENTRAL AMERICAN GODDESSES CENTRAL AND SOUTH AMERICA GODDESSES GODDESSES OF BRAZIL EGYPTIAN GOD NAMES EGYPTIAN GOD THEMES EGYPTIAN PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES ANCIENT EGYPTIAN GODS & GODDESSES ANCIENT EGYPTIAN GODS AND GODDESSES EGYPTIAN GODS & GODDESSES NAMES OF GODDESSES OF ANCIENT EGYPT EGYPTIAN GODS THE GODDESSES AND GODS OF ANCIENT EGYPT NAMES OF PHARAOHS NAMES OF WOMEN IN GREEK MYTHS GREEK & ROMAN GODS AND GODDESSES GREEK GODS, SPIRITS & MONSTERS ANCIENT GREEK GODS GODDESSES OF GREECE GREEK PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES LIST OF GODS AND GODDESSES FROM GREECE GREEK GODS & GODDESSES NAMES OF EGYPTIAN GODS GREEK GODS, SPIRITS & MONSTERS THE OLYMPIAN GODS AND GODDESSES NAMES OF MINOR ROMAN GODS & GODDESSES ROMAN GODS NAMES OF LATIN/ROMAN GODDESSES ROMAN/ETRUSCAN GODS BY FUNCTION GRAECO-ROMAN GODDESSES GODS AND GODDESSES OF ROME ROMAN DEITIES THE GODS AND GODDESSES OF THE STREGHE ROMAN GODS AND GODDESSES ROMAN GODDESSES GREEK AND ROMAN MYTHOLOGICAL GODS ANGLO-SAXON GODS AND GODDESSES |
CELTIC GODS AND GODDESSES OF EUROPE Gods and Goddesses were often connected with sacred springs, rivers, groves, or tribal shrines in the outdoors. CELTIC GODS & GODDESSES CELTIC GODS GODS AND GODDESSES OF THE CELTIC LAND CELTIC GODS & GODDESSES NAMES CELTIC WALES - GODS AND HEROES CELTIC IRELAND - GODS AND GODDESSES CELTIC GAUL - GODS AND GODDESSES CELTIC BRITAIN - GODS AND GODDESSES CELTIC GODS, HEROES & CREATURES CELTIC PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES CELTIC GODDESSES NAMES OF CELTIC GODDESSES NAMES OF CELTIC DEITIES CELTIC GODS & GODDESSES BRITISH, SCOTTISH, IRISH, WELSH GODS & GODDESSES WELSH GODS AND GODDESSES ANGLO-SAXON GODS AND GODDESSES PAGAN GODS AND GODDESSES GODS OF DEATH/UNDERWORLD GODS AND SPIRITS OF THE UNDERWORLD THE GODS & GODDESSES OF FINNISH-UGRIAN PLACES THE GODS & GODDESSES OF THE INDO-EUROPEANS MYTHOLOGY - GODS & GODDESSES GODS & GODDESSES GODS, GODDESSES, DEMONS AND MONSTERS GODS OF DARKNESS THE GODS OF NORTH AMERICAN MYTHOLOGY NATIVE AMERICAN PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES THE GODS OF THE NORTH ARABIC AND ISLAMIC GODDESSES GODDESSES AND GODS LOVE AND SEXUALITY THE GODS AND GODDESSES OF ODINISM HEATHENRY ARCHANGEL GODS AND GODDESSES GODS OF THE MIERCINGA RÍCE GODS AND GODDESSES OF VIRTUES AND PERSONIFICATIONS GODS AND GODDESSES OF CHILDREN AND CHILDBIRTH NAMES OF THE MOON GODDESSES MOON GODS AND MOON GODDESSES SUN GODS GODS OF LIGHT GODS AND GODDESSES OF FERTILITY GODS AND GODDESSES OF AGRICULTURE NAMES OF GODS AND SPIRITS OF THE SEA GODDESSES OF THE ISLANDS & OCEANS GODS OF TWILIGHT SUN GODDESSES NAMES OF GODS & SPIRITS OF COUNTRYSIDE AND WILDERNESS NAMES OF DEMIGODS ONE HUNDRED BEAUTIFUL NAMES OF GOD SUMERIAN GODS & GODDESSES LUSITANI (ANCIENT PORTUGUESE) GODS GODDESSES OF BABYLON BABYLONIAN GODS FINNISH GODS FINNISH GODS FINNISH RELIGION NAMES OF SCANDINAVIAN GODDESSES NAMES OF GODS OF KRYNN BASQUE GODS GODS OF HAPPINESS THE NAMES OF THE GODS NAMES OF APOTHEOTHENAI (Deified Mortals) NAMES OF NORSE/TEUTONIC GODDESSES GODDESSES OF LATVIA NAMES OF PREHISTORIC GODDESSES NAMES OF GODDESSES OF ANCIENT CRETE NAMES OF THE GODDESSES JUDEO-CHRISTIAN GODDESSES AKKADIAN GODDESSES GODDESSES OF FIRST NATIONS NAMES FROM NORTH AMERICAN INDIAN MYTHOLOGY NATIVE AMERICAN GODS & GODDESSES NATIVE AMERICAN PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES NATIVE NORTH AMERICAN GODS CENTRAL AMERICAN GODS NATIVE NORTH AMERICAN GODS CENTRAL & STH AMER PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES SOUTH AMERICAN GODDESSES INCA GODS THE GODS OF INCAN MYTHOLOGY AZTEC GODS AZTEC MYTHOLOGY AZTEC PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES AZTEC GODS AND GODDESSES THE GODS AND GODDESSES OF THE AZTECS AZTEC GODDESSES AZTEC DEITIES MAYAN GODS & GODDESSES MAYAN GODS AZTEC & MAYAN GODS GODS AND GODDESSES FROM THE MAYANS PHOENICIAN DEITIES PERSIAN GODDESSES PERSIAN DEITIES SLAVIC GODDESSES GODDESSES OF SUMERIA VOUDOUN GODDESSES THE GODS OF THE ANCIENT MEXICANS WORLD OF GODS AND GODDESSES LIST OF DEITIES ZORASTERIAN DEITIES THE GODS OF THE DRAGON REALMS THE DEMI-GODS OF FARLAND GODDESSES AND GODS DEITIES DEITIES OF TITAN SUMERIAN GODS AND GODDESSES MINOR DEITIES THE MINOR PHYSICAL GODS NAMES OF MYTHICAL CREATURES ESKIMO GODS SANTERIAN PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES MESOPOTAMIAN PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES NAMES FROM VOODOO THE WONDROUS GODDESSES DEITIES & DEMI-GODS CHRISTO-PAGAN GODS & GODDESSES CRETIAN GODDESSES | ||
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Sponsors
PreacherMan
by Ted L Glines
Gonna be a preacher man
cause I have faith - I know I can
gonna fly right through that Pearly Gate
powered by my collection plate
I'll never leave these sheeple guessing
for I'm da best - a pure-D blessing
the blind will walk - the lamed will see
I'll do it all on prime TV
---0---
Here I go to save the youth
make tons of money with my Truth
I used to be a lone pariah
lookit me now - the new Messiah
no more worries - life is good
the Key is readily understood
for those who see - how life flows
(*but I'm the only one who knows*)
---0---
I had this vision late last night
it surely made me see the light
God came down - dispelled my sorrow
did I have a tampax - She could borrow?
Suddenly it all came clear
these worldly troubles far and near
all this chaos - can you guess?
Just Universal PMS!
---0---
Hal-eeee-lool-ya - pass the plate
save your ass - it ain't too late
the final answer - plain to see
a Godly hysterectomy ...
Author's Notes: Hey, maybe they are right, and there IS a human-shaped God (you know, the old white-haired person enthroned on a cloud, reading the Coffee Table Book of Idiots) , and maybe we ARE created in the image of ... Her. Oops. And all down through bloody history, men have been PMSing when they lacked the tools to do it right. Makes sense to me!
Sheeple
by Ted L Glines
Put your fingers together
to form the old steeple
hugging the faithful and
victimized sheeple
whose lives are blessed
in dance syncopation
frightened and moved by
misinformation
beckoned in faith
to mindless devotions
moved in their masses
by planted emotions
taught they should love
but sponsored to hate
by conflicting ideals
all heaped on their plate
and - if freedoms go begging
well - that's what you've got
when innocent sheeple
are chased down and shot
and abuses and lies
cause tongues to wag
while belief and faith
are an emptied bag
so I'll stand alone
and cry like a bird
til the lost and confused
drop out of their herd
I'll fly like a dove
with a bomb as I weep
til the shepherds are eaten
by the flocks they keep
for I have no doubt
that greed and power
will vanish like mist
in that final hour
and light will blaze
from the heavens above
when we all walk together
once more in love.
Sign
by Ted L Glines
Show me a sign to make me believe,
a burning bush will do,
just show me a sign and that will relieve
my lingering doubts about You.
Forget the sun as it dawns and sets
in every imagined hue,
forget the stars and hedge your bets,
for only a sign will do.
Forget the sea and the singing whales
and babies birthed for you,
you crave the magickal mystery tales,
and nothing less will do.
Forget your visions and Lines of Ley
which fairly buzz with power,
you need your signs to make you say
"I believe in You this hour!"
If you have a bush -- I have some fire,
a magician's trick will do,
we'll set it abaze to soothe your ire
and its ashes will do for you.
If you need a sign to make you believe,
then there's something wrong with you,
for all of the miracles you can conceive
are in your eyes and under your shoe,
and it's all right here where the flowers grieve
for the lack of faith in you.
Author's Notes: This almost bridges the chasm between the faith of pagans and the faiths of the "recognized" religions. Most truly religious people would not require Deity to do magickal tricks in order to deserve our reverence.