My name is Tawny, I am 24 years old, and I am a mother to three wonderful children and wife to Mike. I had my first daughter, Trinity, soon after I turned 19. It was a scary time in my life. My husband and I had only been together for 3 months when I got pregnant, and we weren't sure that it was going to work out. Being a "teen mom" at the hospital when I was in labour was something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Nobody thought to inform me of what was happening, what would happen, and what could happen. I feel that I was pressured into having an epidural, as nobody seemed to think that I could give birth without drugs. When I was about 6 cm dilated, a nurse informed me that I had to have a meeting with social services, as I was a "teen mom." There I sat, confused with why just because I was young, I was believed to be an insufficient mother. When Trinity came out after a relatively short eight hour labour, she was blue, unresponsive, and not breathing. Her apgar was 1, then 3, then finally after ten minutes, 9. Thankfully, I had a new nurse right after she was born who encouraged me to breastfeed and to spend some time bonding with her.
My second daughter Madison was conceived when Trinity was just seven months old. I was excited to do everything differently this time. I ended up being admitted to the hospital 5 weeks before my due date due to high blood pressure. I went in to labour on my own at 36 weeks gestation. I was scared for this tiny new baby that was about to come into this world. I found out shortly from my doctor that she was OP. This meant that she was turned facing away from my spine, causing alot more pressure than "normal." All of the medical caregivers suggested that I get an epidural again, as this would surely be a slow and painful labour. I got the epidural, but it didn't take. Thankfully, it wasn't so bad!! Four hours later, from first contraction until she was out, Madison was born at 6lbs 4oz.
When I got pregnant with Gage, my third baby, I tried to take a more informed approach. I read more, thought out a birth plan, and ate more healthily, but it seemed like it was all for nothing. I gained a huge amount of weight (60lbs) and forgot my birth plan when I went into labour. I laboured without any medication until 6cm's when I just felt like I couldn't do it anymore. His birth was just shy of 4 hours, but when the only people who were there at the beginning were myself and my husband, it seemed like it was going to take forever. I think that if we were to have had a doula with us at this birth, it would have made it a lot more manageable. Looking back, it would've been great to have had somebody by my side encouraging me, letting me know I was doing a good job. Mike was doing all that, but when it's your spouse, you think that he's saying it because he has to. I know that a doula would be honest with me, telling me how it is, not how it's supposed to be, or how I want it to be. If we were to ever have another baby, I'd definitely have a doula. Since completing my course, I've realized how magical and spiritual birth can and should be and how a doula can help you achieve the intimate birth you are looking for.
Other than being with my family, I like to go to the gym, write, sing, listen to music, visit with friends, and have some time to myself. I think doing something for yourself, no matter how big or small, can do wonders for your self esteem. Not to mention how much happier your family will be when you're happy!
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