Jane Nelson: "A misbehaving child is a discouraged child."
Does this hold up to the light of God's Word? What does God say about discouragement?
Colossians 3:21 says: "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."
First let us look at the Greek definitions of anger and discouraged.
Anger- anger, the natural disposition, temper, character movement or agitation of the soul, impulse, desire, any violent emotion, but esp. anger anger, wrath, indignation anger exhibited in punishment, hence used for punishment itself of punishments inflicted by magistrates
I found it interesting that this type of anger is associated with punishment. This anger is necessary to punish! Isn't this an interesting thought when considering our premise as PD parents that punishment leads to anger?
Discouragement- to be disheartened, dispirited, broken in spirit, dismayed
Dictionary definitions for:
Discourage- To deprive of courage, dispirit, dishearten
Dispirit-To cause to lose heart or hope; weaken the spirit of; depress
Dismay-To put at a loss as from surprise, fear or disappointment; cause to lose spirit or confidence
Dishearten-To weaken the spirit or courage of
This means that any action we take with our child should promote encouragement, tend to and nurture their spirit. Any other action leads to discouragement.
What are the definitions for the words which are opposite of discourage?
Encourage-To inspire with courage, hope or confidence. 2. To help or be favorable toward.
Inspirit-To fill with spirit or life; exhilarate
Hearten-To give courage to
More Scripture for thought:
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
Proverbs 19:11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.
Colossians 3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
Colossians 3:12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.
16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
Yes, this Scripture even (most especially)applies to the parent/child relationship! So, if we want to encourage our child, we will put off those things of the old man, put on the things of the new man and do everything in word or deed as unto the Lord Jesus! We would not seek to anger or discourage the Lord. Therefore we must not do this to our child. Teach them; admonish them with Scripture, sing songs about Him, and let GRACE permiate your home!
So… it appears that "A MISBEHAVING CHILD IS INDEED A DISCOURAGED CHILD!"
Jane Nelson is the Author of books on Positive Discipline. You can find her books at Amazon or any other major bookstore. Although I do not agree with everything Jane Nelson says, I find a lot of what she has to say very helpful.