The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in.  Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them.  In the distance a voice shouts out "Northolt are good enough to win the European Cup."  Snow White says, "Well at least Dopey's alive!" 

A Northolt player and a Stortford Jets player are walking along the street outside, and suddenly the Stortford Jets player says "Ooh, look at that dead bird!" The Northolt player looks skywards and says "Where?"

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?  They had pictures of Northolt Players on them...
People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

A Northolt player goes to his doctor to find out what's wrong with him.
"Your problem is you're fat, "says the doctor.
"I'd like a second opinion" responds the man.
"OK, you're ugly too" replies the doctor.

A man goes into Heathrow Airport and eventually goes into the departure lounge waiting for his flight home to be called. All around him there are overturned tables, upturned chairs, smashed windows, flight monitors broken and crowd control barriers lying on the floor.
"Christ, what's happened here?" he asks one of the ground crew.
"Oh yeah", he replies "Bloody hopeless .... we had the Northolt players in here this morning filming the new Nike ad."

Four surgeons are having a coffee break.  The first one says "I like operating on accountants best because everything inside is numbered."
The second one says "Nah, I like librarians.  Everything inside them is always in alphabetical order."
Third one says "Electricians, they're the best.  Everything in them is colour coded."
The fourth one says "I prefer Northolt players.  They're gutless, heartless, spineless, and their heads and backsides are interchangeable."

Two shipwrecked Luton fans are walking along the beach of a desert island one day.
One fan says to the other, "I see Northolt lost again."
Amazed at his friend's cognizance, the other Luton fan asks, "How do you know that?"
To which the first fan replies, "It's Sunday."

Paul Gilbey was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping.
He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" to which the old lady replied, "No way - you got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"

Q: What’s black and brown and looks good on a Northolt fan?
A: A Rottweiler.