Stella Artois Temple of Appreciation

Ten Commandments of Stella

Live your life by these ten commandments and you may not be a better person but you'll have a bloody good time

1. NEVER go to the pub for just 2 pints of Stella, it will inevitably lead to more. To avoid lying just don't say your going for a couple. Use the philosophy "ALL OR NOTHING".

2. NEVER plan where or what you are going to do in an evening when drinking Stella as you will more than likely end up in a place you never expected.

3. NEVER drink another man's Stella without their permission. A man's pint is his castle.

4. NEVER try to drink a different lager after Stella, it just won't satisfy you and will leave a bad taste in your mouth.

5. NEVER trust a Tennents or McEwans lager drinker. They only drink inferior alcoholic substances as they cannot afford nor handle the effects of the more sophisticated substance which is Stella Artois.

6. ALWAYS ensure that a bad pint of Stella is reported to the official Stella Appreciation Society Board of Complaints Commission. The psychological consequences of a bad pint of Stella must never be underestimated and any establishment found selling such an inferior pint will be fully investigated under the the rules of the S.A.S. Commission Board Chapter IX.III.

7. ALWAYS use Stella Artois as a hangover cure. It is the best hangover cure know to mankind as discovered under S.A.S. Experiment No.32.

8. ALWAYS have faith in the Lord Sebastien of Leuven. If funds are running low and you are a trully deserving Stella drinker you will be rewarded with beer tokens from somewhere.

9. ALWAYS treat your fellow Stella drinkers as your brothers and sisters.

10.ALWAYS use Stella Artois to assist you in any task you undertake. The quest for enlightenment and fulfillment will always be answered by the Lady of Leuven.

Translated from the ancient belgian texts. MCMXCIII, Stella Appreciation Society.