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Here is something that you might enjoy. It's a list of funny things that I made up. The ones with smileys are my favorites.
1.I have enough money to last me the rest of my life(as long as i don't spend any) 2.news bulletin---suicidal twin kills sister by mistake
3.other than that Mrs. Licoln, how was the play 4.I got a sweater for Christmas.What I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner
5.Hard work never killed anyone,But why chance it?
6.It's lonely at the top, but you eat better
7.If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on earth?
8.Failure is not an option!It comes bundled with the software.
9.Always give 100% at work:12% Monday23% Tuesday40% Wednesday20% Thursday 5% Friday-
10.I am a Nobody.Nobody is Perfect.Therefore I am Perfect-
11.Question:Which is worse, Ignorance or Apathy?Answer:I don't know and I don't care.
12.I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE, Sometimes I even put it in the food
13. I still miss my ex. but my aim is getting better!
14.If your voting could really change things,it would be illegal
16.Money does grow on trees.It's just that the government owns all the branches
17.Don't sweat the petty things.Don't pet the sweaty things
18.They call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken
19.When you work here,you can name your own salary. I named mine, "Fred"
20.Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
21.Police station toilet stolen ....Cops have nothing to go on
22.Gaseous clouds have been detected around Uranus.
23.The latest survey shows that three out of four people makeup 75% of the population
24.I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
25.In just two days from now,tomorrow will be yesterday
26.(on a bumper sticker)---Horn broken. watch for finger
27.What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
28.The statement below is true.
The statement above is false
29.we may be schizophrenic,but at least we have each other
30.Age doesn't always bring wisdom.Sometimes age comes alone
31.Four out of five people think the fifth
