пісок в очах. купа народу в метро. оточуючі мене сприймають виключно як ляльку - і як для ранку вони, мабуть, таки праві
і серед цього життя яскравим спалахом промайнув відчайдушно красивий кадр для відсутнього фотоапарату: завод над Дніпром, дим з двох труб, все мегаіндустріально, але вранішнє сонце віддзеркалює завод у Дніпровій воді - така проста і водночас чарівливо несподівана гра світла
ще один плюс вставання РАНО: книжки у бібліотеці дали до завтра – і попереду ще ЦІЛИЙ ДЕНЬ
Okay, so I've managed to find nothing I wanted to find in this f* net. And what I really need to understand is that there is no future for any relationship I can think of right now (I mean with real people I do know and consider them as my im/possible love objects). This is the reality. And if the fact that I WANT to be someone's girlfriend stays the fact - this is not the fault of the fact, in fact. The only way for me to forget him is to forget. I have to avoid him. Even if it is hard. This is what is good for me. And this is difficult, of course, but what important is not difficult in this world?
I simply cannot stand this humiliation any more. And at the same time I simply go there and see him all the time.
This is complicated, they say. Okay, how can I cope with myself?
And this is not the only problem I feel obliged to solve. I feel responsible for human hearts that are given to me. I feel responsbility to give them back. And I dislike the situation when someone does not actually want his or her heart back...
And I feel responsibility for my words. I don't believe in lying to people.
And what I hate about this facebook thing is that today I can't perform an act available for me yesterday...
Why can't I join ALL The Ark groups? Why not? Just make it clear for me? Am I not a free and unlimitied human being? Of course I am not. But still would anyone reject my humble request to be the member of all facebook The Ark communities? AND be able to send messages, to give gifts in return and some more very simple functions???
F* facebook.
Changed my browser settings to default. If that won't help I have not a vague idea about what the hell is wrong with it.
I believe today is the happy day I can say that I don't cry at Shakira's "Illegal" song, and it is because I am NOT IN LOVE anymore!!! And I don't cry over my broken heart and hurt personality. No, I don't:). Because i am happy with myself, with my life and with my everything). And that has been great and I am really glad that it is over because you can't mourn forever. And now I am free and light like the bird in the sky! And I am gonna be happy))). And today I've had this dream I can't forget. There was an image of a great boy - the mix between my two long-passed passions - the boy was gorgeous and he was very tender and he was just what I need. Of course those guys from the real life - his prototypes aren't really THAT great, good and superb but they are in the way like him. And today I've even saw one of those real-life prototypes:). He was smiling to me and I was happy with this coincidence:))). And the dream contained nothing very much special - we were having dinner and then going to go somewhere. An the main idea of the dream is just this feeling "content". I love such dreams. And the fact that this dream finally came to me means that I am free. No my thoughts that it is all over at last, no my unwillingness to get up early only to see him, nothing could have been more obvious an evidence as this dream - THERE WAS NOT A HINT ABOUT HIM IN IT. Absolutely different image of what I need, absolutely divorced from his specific features, and (unlike he) bringing me so much peace and happiness and relaxation and it made me feel sure about tomorrow.
