Hey! Been awhile huh? Well, I've been busy...or not. Half of the time I was being lazy. So anyway. Feel free to look around the Lair of Chaos. I've updated a couple of things.
Well, here are a FEW-note:FEW- updates. Update color codes- New - Recent - Old
2-11-06
-Upgrades
-Blog
-Links
-Art
-Bio
-Layout(?)
7-24-05
-Updated the art section.
-Combined Photos into the Art section
-Changed the site tempelate
-Minor changes in my BIO.
I plan to some day have a memorial page on this site. Dedicated to Births and Deaths of my loved ones. Especially my pets. It kinda gets depressing for me to have the Chiripo memorial collecting dust on the front. u_u
12-4-04
-Deleted 'Photos' Page
-Added a memorial paragraph dedicated to my dog, who most recently passed away, Chiripo. It's been a sad night for me. T_T
8/13/04
-LiveJournal link in "Links"
-New Image Links from my DA user account
7/16/04-
GuestBook installed. Oh yeah! w00t! PARTY! SPAM AWAY!
"Photos" page has been completed!
7/15/04-
"Comics" was added in the "Art" page. "Photos" is still under construction, but there are some links here and there on that page. So if your impatient- CHECK IT OUT!
7/09/04-
This site was made! OMG!
WhatToday, Dec. 4, 2004, my dog Chiripo was found dead on the freeway near the outskirts of my town in the country. My mother, sister, and I were driving down the free way in search of our dogs who appeared missing a day ago. On my right of the freeway, we all saw and passed what looked like my dog, Chiripo. Same patterns and fur colors. My mom paniced, I tried to calm her. I didn't know why I wasn't as shocked as her. We turned our car around to where we found the dog's body. My mom parked the car and was still panic strucken. I saw the body. I gasped and started thinking why this had to happen. "Don't get out! Stay in the car! Don't look!" my mom cried. She then climbed out of the car and walked to the canine corpse. It took me a while to cry, I hadn't cried since like what seems forever over a life. So my soul was to tough to crack but slowly shattered the more I thought about it. Then tears slowly ran down my cheeks. "No god, WHY?" I muttered. I cried harder now. Blamed his death on myself...I had to find SOMETHING to blame it on. Then I thought back to when my little sister's friend, Jason lost his dog and then found it dead. It was Karma. Karma took his life because I didn't show sympathy for someone, who I despise, for his own loss. My mom got back in the car and found that I was crying so hard. Every reason why he could've died, how he did, and how I should've given him more attention before it all happen flooded into my mind. My mom rubbed my back, trying to comfort me and called her friends at the PD dispatch to have an officer come and take his body. It's the least we could've done for him rather than leave his body there to rot. I cried and cried while my mom called my grandmother. I didn't how I could live with myself now, my dog died. A blessing from my first dog, who I grew up with, Perdita. She gave birth to a dog that well suited me; how his fur patterns matched my soul. How his fur would grow more dark as my own. His fur was like his own bit of chaos. I have this belief I call "Chaos Theory"-- force chaosed by darkness and light, or known as a force in the middle of two things. His fur resembled my belief for that. How his black fur mixed with the white and spots of brown. Despite how bad or ugly his fur looked to others I saw only his inner beauty and I loved his fur, it was what made him unique like myself. That was Perdita's blessing before she died the next year she gave birth to Chiripo and his brother, Smokey. 
Chiripo Lying Down(8-9-04) He looks so happy.
When the officer arrived, he assured he'd take Chiripo to the animal shelter so they can at least get him off the side of the freeway. My mom started the car, and I was still crying and tried not to blame myself for his death. I watched as we passed by his body back onto the freeway, I watched his corpse lie there. He looked peaceful, his eyes shut, his head jerked back and his body curled up and his paws as well. I felt more tears streaming down my cheek. My mom felt it was her fault as well, but know that I thought about it...it was my little sister's fault, she left the gate WIDE open after the lawn mowers were done mowing the lawn. She forgot to shut it and lock it!...I probably shouldn't say that, then she would've admit it was her fault. Then again, the fear of being hated by me could keep her from telling the truth. Anywho, when we arrived home. I quickly ran out of the car and tried to get the door open with my house keys. My mom watched my hand shake as I tried to get my key into the keyhole. When I finally got the door open I tried to pull the key away from the door knob and struggled to pull it away. I almost wanted to make an attempt to kick the door away from my key and curse out loud. I finally got my key free, and rushed to my room. My mom called me back and I stopped. She hugged me and I cried. I wanted to pull away from her fast because it was so painful, I wanted to get on my computer and make memorials on my deviant page, and on my ^~^ Smile? inc. page. Now I'm sitting here thinking about how he died in his POV and his brother Smokey's. It's all sad. I try not to think about it so much, but I'm just vulnerable now. I've been depressed at school, trying to make new friends(but most of them seem to push me away, or I end up hating them), so misunderstood with the ones I hang out with, I'm mad at Arturo 'cause I've found him out (it isn't anything bad, it just hurts me like saying we're friends and then treats me like another face in the crowd; enough about that). No one seems to understand, only my real friends do. And now my dear kind loving dog's death adds to my depression. I think about it sometimes, suicide, death, homecide. I'd probably would never commit suicide, I'd think about it, but never actually do it. But I'm sure Chiripo would want me to live, as do all the other people who actually do care about me. My message to Chiripo: I love you and your mother. And if Lucky, your father is up there, tell him that we miss him too and we love him. Look out for your brother, we're hoping to find him. And if you can, guide him back home to us. Love ya Chirips. Bye. I hope to see you again sometime in this life again.
Thank you for your time in reading this. I'm sure Chiripo is thankful too.
-Renee
More Pictures of Chiripo:
Chiripo...so loyal and loving.
Chiripo and his brother Smokey. I hope Smokey is alright, wherever he is. They were inseperatable. They grew up together and stayed with one another. Smokey is my little sister's dog.
Update-
My mom found out at work on Sunday (Dec. 5, 2004) from a employee(officer) at the PD. He asked for a description of the other dog Smokey; he described him as black, white patch of fur below his neck, and smaller than Chiripo. My mom said he was correct about the description and then the officer told my mom that they found his body at the shelter because before we found Chiripo's body, someone must've taken Smokey's to the shelter. When my mom told me I was hurt even more. Both of them were gone, one of them wasn't gonna come back alive. Both remains I had to my past with my dog Perdita, their mother, were gone even Lucky (their father) as well. But it was the best thing I guess. At least one of them didn't return home to a lonely backyard without it's brother from birth and moped around in yard all sad. They were born together, and now they're together in spirit. And hopefully I'll see them again sometime in this life or even the after life. They both ran away on friday which hurts me because my school isn't too far from the freeway south from my school. I could've at least seen them and taken them home...but no, death is unavoidable.... I feel like I should go out and find whoever took my dog's lives, I'm so hurt. They were in that same accident too! Because they were unseperateble. Last time they ran away, they were together, they never split up. Because aside from us, their owners, they were all they had. Chiripo depended on Smokey as Smokey did Chiripo, so they never split apart. Today really made me sad. I was greatful to those who gave my sympathy for my losses, all but three people I happen to hang out with. What happened was: Me, Tom, Travis, and Kayla were heading to the speed line to get our lunch. Kayla noticed that I was particularly sad and asked what was wrong. I told her what happened, and Tom was all like, "They died in the same accident?" Travis then added, "How dumb!" I wanted to shut them up, how disrespectful. I explained why they did. Then Tom did this rude impression and explaination of how they died. Like a car coming at them and Smokey stops to look at the car, then Chiripo doing the same and then getting hit by that car. That did it. I wanted to stab him with whatever I could find, but instead I turned around and head to our spot. But then they stopped and waited for me to turn around again. I did, but I wanted to get lunch. I hate it when they always think I'm dependant on them, well let's see about that when I eat lunch alone. I hated them. And they still went on and on and made fun of my dogs. I wanted to leave. I wanted death. Death to them. Later on at lunch, Tom only appologized 'cause he'd hate to feel like a jerk(He was probably only thinking for himself) and Travis never did and made one crack about my dogs and I socked him in the head. I was on the edge and wanted to kill them. You know what's sad? *hmph* The friends I don't hang out with gave me sympathy and the ones I do hang out with didn't give me any, only a bit but it wasn't enough because they were just rude. It's really sad. After school, I looked even more depressed, I thought more about Chiripo and Smokey and how they died. When got to the freeway just north from where we found Chiripo's body and crossed the road before an approaching truck(I figured it was going slow and I'd beat it to the other side before it'd actually hit me). When I was about to finish crossing the trucker honked at me and for a second I felt like what probably happened when Chiripo and Smokey's death approached them. A sense of adrenaline rushed down my spine, but I kept walking. And made it in time to the other side. I didn't bother to look at the damn bastard driving the truck. Ha. He must've thought I was suicidal. When he drove past me I blew off the sense of adrenaline by laughing manically after him. And after that, I imagined how my dogs death happened and I wanted to cry. When I got home, ooh, Tom has some nerve to IM me durnig a depressing time. He calls me a coward for expressing myself more deeply in writing than in words. Heh, like Lea says, it's who I am. Words fail me. And everytime I talk and I'm not finished explaining, someone has to make a stupid comment about it and interupt me. As I type this paragraph, and at the part where I was explaining Tom's rude description about my dog's death and how they were just looking stupid, I cried. I really wanted to IM him on AIM and tell him and Travis off how I don't care if he was sorry and how he had no right to joke around like that. Well. Rest their souls, Chiripo and Smokey. I await your arrival once more in this life or the next. Sayonara.
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