--- k dont wurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr bout this page cos its random as fuck. if ur bored then by all meanz keep readn---

if u find urself gettn dissed here dont tell me shit

WARNING: Adult content may offend everyone

this is BULLSHIT.                            

i can keep you motherfuckers occupied for a little while

hi my names jason skipper and my middle name is curry if u know what that means email me at: . madafuka ahahahh i have a banana up my nose wtf.

nah seriously this is serious if u dont know what the PBm is and want 2 i will tell yall.

it all started cos i was poor and got hit in the hand with an axe handle. then rangi got hit in the arse with an ironing board and blamed us.so we done a driveby on his house on stolen mobility scooters and hot glue guns.He lived in onix somewhere and josh browneyed jacob who started crying cos he couldnt breathe. So the teacher got pissed off and took a shit on the blackboard.this was like round about near 1999 or so when i was about a metre tall and my balls dragged along the ground cos greg was fat and he fell off the fence and cracked the footpath.

this caused a chain reaction where some electricity monitor dude fell off his ladder into live wires and caused sparks. there was a gas leak which passed through the sparks, and made a big bang. The bang was so loud it gave mr h a fright and he screamed into the loudspeaker. The noise was so loud that the bum who lives under the bridge near the dairy where you get cheap pies from was awoken from his sleep and was so pissed off he went into the shop, held up a packet of skittles with a waterbomb.He stole a pie, left the pie warmer open, and the owner got so angry he lit the dairy on fire.

by now you should know how it all started and ended so you can all go home now. bye.

anyways this site was started on today. l8r

yo fuck!

AND one day like 6 years ago when i was like 8 or something i shat my pants. I was down at the school with some mates doing jack shit and i needed to go 4 a shit. So i ran home and halfway i could feel something coming. shit. literally. So i sprinted round the corner, and squeezed my ass cheeks together cos it was getting worse. Holy shit it felt like my stomach was going to pop so i cleared the road, rolled down my driveway and into the toilet. sat down. 2 late it was on the floor. gutted

the moral of the story is: DONT EAT GLUE! besides its made from processed horse shit.

adds to the flavour

Yakob went apeshit and got in to his grans car and started revving it up and shit trying to run everyone over but the handbrake was on and he burst into tears, ran into room 9, picked up a computer monitor and dropped it on his feets. He burst into tears and his face wetn a funny colour. His glasses exploded, and he smashed all the windows on the south wall with a xylophone beater, everyone laughed at him and force fed him blue crayons and DONG A oil pastels. he sat on an upside down chair, and was having so much fun that he ate the ball thing on the xylophone beater which expanded in his stomach and exploded. A sticky banana milk mixtre ran down his leg, and he ran up to the hadmaster and pissed his pants, jogging up and down on the spot.

He jumped in the urinal and played tennis until his ass fell off and shit ran freely from his nose. Grimith (Burger Queen version of grimace) ran in and tried to wipe his arse with sandpaper, but he shot him in the balls with a j0eygun. Stepping out the doorway, all was silent.

Crows flew overhead, crickets made that background sound thing and a fruit bat fell off the powerline.

Then suddenly down from the hills came a stampede of gay purple ronald mcKolsawz swinging double ended dildos and screaming. They came down on our young hero with such force.He ran for it, down to the beach and fell over and done a handstand in the mud, head buried in the mud. He was eventually found squirming by the mckolsawz who took him up the arse unmercifully and so he went home, and killed himself in the bath.

we think. mooshline started crying cos his fat boyfriend mason knobskin dumped him and threw a vice at him. rite now im watching some star trek thing and theres albino peoples with dicks sticking out of their heads.

looking back, before his unsightly death, yakob was described as having a 'inner radiance'. judge him before you know him, FUCKER.

-slanteyez

she can do this oh no someones tapping into the rear OHP mrs Hakket got so happy her face fell off and made a neat popping sound when it hit the cold lonly floor.

SHIT FLIES! aka Mrs Hakkets teeth. oh no drones what so bad about drones? Ill tell you wats so bad about drones there stupid, they smell, and there always found flying around goin oooooooooooo and smelling like cheese.

ill let you in on a secret you dont get a new ship when it blows up.You know why?

because i fucken said so.

-VENXZ

howdy reverend i feel that what the lord does is put things in front of us 2 show u lessons. it goes back to the eve eve and eve thing u u u u know what im saying say hi 2 ur dad 4 me. Thats why we dont put cocktail umbrellas in the flaming deep fried deep dish apple pie bitch, cos itll catch fire and singe your minge said the waitress person as she pursued the stray bit of chicken as it skimmed across the floor. Then she walked into the 'toilet' and it didnt look like one cos there was 50 doors and a cow was taking a shit in the doorway. Then some maori screamed; "I SAW A DOLPHIN" and the mob boss's wife smiled and spewed up all over the grass berm or verge and a horse kicked her in the arse and scarlet did not answer because there was a death on shortland street and it looked disturbing cos the writing was white on black. I barrel rolled off a skwscraper, and the camera angle done a low shot and cheesy 80's music came on.

anyway back to the real story. I walked into the disabled toilet cos i needed to take a shit, and the mens one didnt have toilets. the basin had an out of order  sticker on it and a fat 50 year old high school student was sniffing paste and snorting mandarin seeds in the corner. there were maggots raining from the roof. i shivered and left. i turned around and walked into the kitchem. some mushrroms were flying around on tv and some asian dude walking around in octagons swinging a knife, speaking in tongues. I laughed and said i saw ur fucking daughter walking round town last night in figure 8's cos shes a hooker. the ute was warm cos its still ticking. some fat maori sat on the post office wall with some bitches and they screamed and my hope was no more. town was empty and some chubby guy in a tracksuit ran into a phone box and broke his nose. he doubled over and started crying. he started to have fits and convulsions and rooled around on the ground, with no control over his penis whatsoever. Nobody laughed apart from me, myself, the hooker and the fat maori and his bitches. he continued to roll round and eventually drowned in a puddle of his own piss.

next time remember ur medic alert bracelet fatty. u can get counterfeit onez from the dollar or more for 98 cents. That stupid white rabbit dude in the green caridgan couldnt afford one cos all he had was 73 cents, a button and a half a sticker of a gay car.

okay we're going off task. concentrate.... CONCENTRATE. Some other waiter dude kept walking past with a big sizzling smoking spitting wok and his face was red and he looked stressed as. Some old man tried 2 flag him down by whistling to him. The waiter was all; U WANT UR FUCKING DEEP FRIED CABBAGE AND ROCKMELON, HERES UR FUCKING DINNER! He threw it at the man and it got him hard in the face . It made a neat chinese gong sound and the old timer fell backwards in a graceful arc as the bok choi and apple sauce dribbled down his knarled face. The waiter responded YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT BITCH!? and a sack of spuds came flying from the kitchen. The waiter had no tread on his shoes so he skidded 2 kensington. He damaged several cars that didnt have mcsurance. I ran in just before we left, pissed on the old dudes family, made a seagull sound and ran over 2 some random cunt and shoved a cucumber in his mouth, stole the bag of guest mints and ran through the window into a incoming steamroller.

-slanteyez

dont say i didnt warn you that this is a very sad story.

This is a story from a few months ago.i think cos some of this shit happened couple of days ago.

Bailarse aka stool. It was the 4th of November.He started crying cos the magic sing couldnt sing and someone threw at him and it got stuck in his throat.He walked round in circles saying is it a fuse... is it a fuse... is it a fuse.... is it a fuse... is it a fuse ... is it a fuse.....??

yes its a fuse.-FHC

I was only going to sleep on kensington heights cos walkroft said that they were going to shoot kelly illabrine with a paintball gun cos hes a short fat man, tie him to a powerpole and throw sharpened 2H 0.45mm clutch pencils at him. Then we would go and shit on his doorstep and light his dog on fire. Then go inside, find his wife, take her out back and feed her to the pigs cos they were maingy and skinny looking cos they were eating cornfalkes at this time in the morning.

But it didnt happen.so i went home cried myself to sleep and didnt wake up for a week.

I had this dream.Some skinny little austrailian motherfucker was walking on the beach and some big black motherfucker of a dog came running towards him. The boy turned round, froze on the spot, and screamed like a little bitch.Piss ran freely down his leg. The dog jumped on his face and the boy shut his eyes.When he opened them he could see black only and started crying. He thought the dog had eaten him, but no, it was just sitting on him.It took a shit on him.

He got up, came over to me sobbing and said; "i hope youre happy... NOW YOU MADE BE POO MY PANTS! waaaaaaaaaaaaahh!"

i walked into the post office house thing near the beach, walked in.The serving bitch in the doorway asked:"What do you want?

a muffin

good choice

not.The muffins are made by my mum whose got those fucked up hands she got 7 fingers and she had them up a cats arse cos she was unaware of how babys were made.There was a jousting competetion between mrs macs famous meat pies and regency pies over the biggest chicken pie in the world. Made from 100% rooster and guinea fowl shit, may contain traces of PVA, but may not contain traces of peanuts.I walked in and they were having sex on the floor, and were poking each other with chopstix. Then i woke up and left.What a load of shit.

Next minute, i was daydreaming. me and skwall and kol were talking about breakfast cereals to make this fag go away who was scratching his chins and checking out little passing boys.This is Wayne. hes a fryer.

THE RACE - by jason skipper

it was the 14th of the 11th at 9 in the morning. We were told not to walk on the red carpet or wed fall through. but no, we listened.A truck drove past, and the back trailer flew out and smaked john mason off his unicycle. His old chinese grandad put his head out the window of the truck, pulled the fingers and laughed. We threw ball bearings at him and his nose pissed out blood.We followed the truck and 2 cops wearing purple flip flops stop dropped and rolled after us and a pack of niggaz with shot us with toy guns with cheap triggers. We pulled over to the side of the road and he sez son u know why im stopping u for? cos im young and im black and ...

no, im sorry son but ur being a bumper sticker.

What the fuck are you talking about u lost pig fucking pig i smell bacon i think ur barbecue is choking and ur sausages are smoking and ur little brotherz burning on the grill. And ur aunty just got killed by her cat cos it jumped up and bit her third chin. She screamed and drank a bottle of degreaser and budget rinse aid. Im terribly sorry.

No ur not. Thatll be $200. ur being a bumper sticker.

there was a moment of silence. i turned around and my friend young flipper was choking on a stir fried doorstop and holding a queen sized moro bar. I tell the cop to get fucked. i said that he slowed down, same as coming to a complete stop. No need to burn down his house and rape his ancestor te mangakihangarangiteputiatutahi mason.

but no, the cop went over to him and starting hitting him in the balls with a golf club. He yelled to me, DO YOU WANT ME TO SLOW DOWN OR COME TO A COMPLETE.... FUCKING.... STOP!!!??

i didnt respond and was hit fair and square between the eyes.But it was ok, i had subway for breakfast, and its hip to be a square. its queer to be a upside down yellow triangle, or dancing around doing starjumps and grinning cheesily and singing about the first time you had sex; dad are you sure this is right?

No, ur supposed to wave ur arms son.

i woke up in a crate of colgate toilet soaps. Bert badger, birdmongerer. George tableson, plastic knob salesman, Mitchell hill, golfer.

Anyway the soap was from the morpheus mining faculty. It was made of engine degreaser and canola oil. I sat under a tree outisde woolworths on the side of a busy road eating a number 18 banquet chicken and a bucket of coles1aw. I guarded the fudge slice with my life. The shop assistant was all, u want a 50 litre drum of coke with that its only 3 more cents!? The famine was horrible we had cheesecake and pork rinds. No more the choclate boy screamed. its estimated that there is around 500000 unregistered aliens of earth. send a message to the people of power, bush for president yall. The thought of the aliens is frightening... its frightening.

i feel... strange... weak... they must have sedated me somehow. A bumper sticker is a car which is following too closely, hence the name. someone in the corner was sticking a wooden dildo up their arse , but the screams were loud. Because they were going against the grain and splinters were rife. Oh the humanity. The pressure on his bones was immaculate.

then kol was getting yelled at by walkrofts x girlfriends mummmy. She was saying "YOUVE BEEN A NAUGHTY LITTLE PLONKer, STEALING ALL THE BLOODY FEATHERS from the class.

no he sez.

u lieing little cockroach you.

Howdy Moreeth hows the frozen thai chiken pie goin

i think we need a new menue asswash how about some

player pie

pimp juice

boil up face

pork bones

tripple hashcookie

magik stick

oh well tu bad. rangi i love you how bout me and you hump a porkipine

but ruluctantly he choked on a deep fried door stop

i had more fun drawing miss Hakket topples while holding her bra (GOD DAM).

go shove a toilet roll holder up your arse then run around yelling im a bullet train

VENXZ

For this story i had 2 wade thru porridge and i knew someone who could walk on custard. Tevan boil was deep fried in oil and soiled his gruts while licking bananaboats fat hairy nuts when he jumped in 4 a swim and was swimming in skins.both pissed out their arses cos they had the runs and the CEO of kellogs was prodding them in the ass with a jack russells head. Some stoned kid was on TV singing  PUSH THE LITTLE DAISIEz AND MAKE THEM CoME UP, sticking spaghetti up his nose and eating roses. And playing a ukelele . Bananaboat started to think about his doorbell when u gonna ring it? But he focussed on the doorknob.

oh god... the doorknob. Hardcore doorknob sex and the Botany Down golden oldies outdoor bowlies i mean bowls is where its at yall. Daniel moralles was wearing a pink nightgown and opened his legs. crusts of bread fell out and he sez "COME HERE" pointing to his fully erect 3 cm penis. A seagull flew down and flew up his dress, with a mouthfull of stale crackers and cheese and last years chineez takeaways cos he stores them up his ass for afters. He'd ask for desert but its like going for a holiday on the moon. Theres no good knob shaped rocks for him to sit on he tells himself. Besides theres only room for 1 person and its bananaboat and he covered the moon in banana plantation. they dont grow cos the granulizer dont co operate with mr mckenzie whose head was too close to the computer and he snotted all over the keyboard and the elasticity of the snot wrenched his head toward the screen at 50 km a second. Dead on impact. I went totally do-lally after that. My welfare had been left to state. whatever the fuck that means. He showed me that losers cant acheive shit even if they tried, and that if they laugh at oyu, tell them to grab a meat tenderiser and shove it, and hit them in the face with a plate warmer covered in sour fish.

dats some rank shit fo yall.  catsup

u think thats bad. bananaboat shat his pants on the bus i think said us. bananaboat its 30 +.

28/7/06 written on.

All this started from gettin hit by a lazy 30 centZ. bailarse didnt pay my shit so he rolled down the hill and wanted 2 light the town basin on fire and set off all the egg timers off at the same time. He ended up rolling down the hill and sharting his pants, sat on the barbecue and got blisters on his arse. fruity fruitcake botox would know this cos he strutted over like he had a bat up his arse and sez: boyssss boyth boyth...

Some random cunt baking meal brown scones in the tolet fucked him up the arse with a crowbar and shovelled shit out his mouth. frequently. .. so what r we talkn about sez the south african dude

HoW THE FuCK would i know i dont run a fucking charity all i know is that u have kaka stains on your shirt and you bent the rims on my bike cos u cant ride 4 shit and u rode it into a ditch and fractured ur penis u um thing i cant even think of a name cos i retain the bledislowe cup with a 3 test series theres definitely got to be a winner witness history. well give u fly buys.

then some sweaty fat black dude grinned a toothyless smil e as he treaded on yo shruberry and 2 scottsih pplz smacked a goat over cos his nose are is wet. milk sucks. i hear haggis tastes good but really its  cancerous sheep balls in a paper bag made of old chineez newspaper. mikey cant lift roy.

OH NO look AT THAT hes jacking off theres too many peoples in tha ring.athletic dropkickbykenny. Maybe a week and that chwis dude will die from cutting his fingers off with a butterknife yeh eyeh yeh u know wat im sayin nerdy pickle'z bitch smells like vinegar.doin the lazy grin the gerg swallows the mayo and burps all thru interval like hes got 7 stomachs.

i remind myself that he probably. a name so effective he chose to use it twice. it hurt me more than anything.......terrible to see, and the commotion they made filled all the forest.
Wolves are afraid of fire at all times, but this was a most horrible and
uncanny fire. If a spark got in their coats it stuck and burned into
them, and unless they rolled over quick they were soon all in flames.
Very soon all about the glade wolves were rolling over and over to put
out the sparks on their backs, while those that were burning were

dead. now not only are u a second class freakshow, but u stole my juice moneyZ.

cheerz ma fuckaz this is new shit about wat happened couple of days back.

-young slanteyez

oh god ur so fat at 16 ill have diabetes and my cholestrol will be high cos my thyroids swollen to the size of a grapefruuit. millionz of women suffer from the same problem. wiping ur ass with a dishcloth and makin sure you

HI ROBERT

wipe ur ass properly and aint walkin round the block dragging a metric ton of shitwipe along the gravel. feelz like getting stabbed in the balls with a screwdriver and smashing some little fuckerz head thru a glass desk cos mr gallow lubed up a lightsaber and fucked it. fartin vaseline fo the next 10 months and cant have a blood test. this set some suitable standards for them 2 measure up to. perky boobs and half hour orgasms. sex drive all night like a trucker.motherfucker im married with children and im still taking a gift home from harvey norman.life keeps bringing me back 2 you, even if it makes me walk  head on into a reversing milk truck. there must be some way i can raise my income. nobody watches channel 83. only that cockgobbler...cock gobbilleerr...cock gobbilleeuuur"

u fucking cockgobbler.." keen keen 2 throw a tin of peaches across the quad and shove up that big motherfuckiz arse.

dennis from accounts!!? WHAT ARE U DOING!!? u think u look good but no u used to play a little high school ball in the johnsonz yard. i hate veal it tastes like carpet.i need somethin plain, boring and simple and they dont get any more plain, boring and simple than you.shifting cartons of milk across a desk and stacking little pyramids of cans of cream corn, and getting ur sack torn in half in a conveyor belt.thatz why its smart 2 retire from selling shoes at an early age.

u think that was cool? i got custom made shorts cos i have a pentium 4 prcoessor just do it i go 2 the warhammer convention its old pplz walking round moseying about and pottering around the kitchen making cups of tea and shit.cultivating yo yams out the back.

18/8

As the dusty bin awoke in cold sweat he grabbed his oboe lubed it up and fuckes it till braas came out of his arse ha ha that rymed just like pie and die FreeLy. as the two old timers sleeping thinking about prune juice choked on a admerals pie and shoved a derby scone up her arse the sultaners were strong to strong like a nylon carpet.

when the gay itallian motha fuKa truged into the room the teachers was pissed off cause room 6 was doing a speech and dandilions and possies Sez shat his pants and rubbed his arse.Railarse was tuched in a way not thought possible then an old man came upto him and asked if he was alright ( Cheezy texas sound) Sunrise or Sunset.

the high squeeked avis and his KrEw through mayo and chop suey at the gerg. cock gobbler and nazi skin head fuck rubbed deap heat on tobins arse then he farts making a flame thrower scolding mark the nark cooooooper then ary ar ar ar came up and stole his flip flops.

average joe...farmer

-Venxz