Name = MIssy
Email = nellylova1314@yahoo.com

I,d rather die than feed my thighs, more fat than
they can hold. cellulite is in my despite. can't stand to be this bold. fat is
like a disease, starvation is the cure. i want to look my finest when i finally
leave this world.

Name = Mel
Email = melstar16@hotmail.com

Insanity

My fragile innocence
Is destroyed
By the destructive need for perfection.
The shards of my fractured sanity
Lie cold and lifeless,
Incapacitated by the expectations of my dreams,
Incapable of repair.
The pain I feel is beyond description,
Beyond recognition.
There is no escape
From this excurciating nightmare
Of lies and deceit.
My only solace is through my success,
And my only success is through my starvation.
As my body struggles to survive
In my world of famine,
As my mind struggles to comprehend
The reasons for my being,
I ask you, God,
Why
Oh
Why
Do
Angels
Fall
First?

Name = natalie
Email = obnmar@aol.com

She looks in the mirror everyday not knowing what to
do
Shes all alone, no one understands what shes going through.
All she wants is to be happy to be  perfect to be thin.
She cries at night shes all alone no one by her side.

All the pains are driving her insane, but she wont give up
Shes starving for perfection and she will never give up!

Name = Christina

Email = babiegirl4100@yahoo.com

You'll never notice it,
Well at least not at first
its not a disease,
its a lifestyle, a curse

people used to tease
"your so fat", now she's too thin
everytime she feels her hunger growning
she controls it

down to her last friend,
who she knew very well
helped her get through it
her life, now claimed hell

her family was concered
she only weighed seventy-nine
her doctor warned, if she got to sixty
her body could shut down, she could die

she paid no mind
her parents forced her to eat
she began taking laxitives
no longer having sleep

she ate once a while,
but later threw it up
her mouth sore, gums bleeding
she became less heathy than she was

her skeletol frame
her hair thinning, falling out
she lost all control
then passed out

she lays now
underneath a heavy stone
she was starving for attention
but she wasnt alone

some people dont understand
many others do
Anorexia Nervosa
has took the lives of others too

you'll never notice it
well at least not at first
its not a disease,
its a lifestyle, a curse

Name = Gemma uk

Today i met a great new friend
Who knew me right away
It was funny how she understood
All i had to say

She listened to my problems
She listened to my dreams
We talked about our life and loves
Shed been there too it seems

She didnt interupt me
Or need to have her say
She just listened very patiently
And didnt go away

I wanted her to understand
How much this meant to me
But as i went to hug her
Something startled me

I stretched my arms in front
And went to pull her nearer
And realized that my new best friend
Was nothing but a mirror

Name = Jessica

always looking in the mirror
it only gets clearer, i hate myself
always trying to avoid dinner,
just dieing to be thinner, i need help
they say you look perfectly fine,
they must be blind, don't they see the baggage
and on the days the scale climbs,
i can't take it, throw the scale and break it, promise i'll do better next time

Ending It All

Can you tell me if life will get better now?

I feel like an ugly, plain, fat cow.

I am being beat by my anorexic ways.

I feel like a fake, my life is a series of plays.

Lose 10 pounds is my first goal.

If I do I can get rid of every roll

90 pounds, is that too much to ask?

I want to hid, go away, be covered by a mask.

Stupid, is what people, that know, tend to call me.

That’s why I stopped saying stuff people let me be.

I want to be skinny again.

Be able to have food without worrying that it’s a sin.

Why is it that anorexia for me is the best?

I need a tutor to help me pass my test,

Because between life and me, I have failed.

I have so many restrictions, I feel like I’m jailed.

I need to lose A LOT of weight.

It’s horrible that the way I look is one thing I hate.

Everyday and night I worry and gain more stress.

I want to live less and less.

I can't believe all the sins I have done.

The sky is dark and gloomy, I see no sun.

My life is depressing it cause me to cry.

All the time I wonder what it would be life for me to die.

At least I would end this mess that my life has become.

I would no longer have to deal with being called dumb.

I wouldn’t have to bother anyone with my fears.

Never again would my pillow be filled with tears.

I know this seems like the easy way out.

But you try living a life filled with doubt.

Anorexia is my other way to deal.

But in no way is it helping me heal.

All the ways I use to handle my stress.

Just seems to make my life a bigger mess.

Everything I think of ends the same way.

Death, it’s creeping up on my, day by day.

I’m not scared though, who cares if I die.

At least I would no longer have to live a lie.

I’m always wondered about Steve up above.

I’d get to meet my big brother, tell him that he is loved.

Maybe for once I would feel loved and calm

The stress would be gone; I’d no longer be a time bomb

I have some good days but more are bad

Depression is settling in, my mood goes from hyper to sad

In cheerleading I fly through the air

When I get dropped, it doesn’t matter; I don’t care

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to die

Would I ever again feel the pain that makes me cry?

I know that I have some scary thoughts

Just watch as I slowly die and my body rots.

By: Sarah Bumgardner

January 21, 2004

Perfect

 Perfect, A word I hear everyday

Everywhere I go that’s what people say

I can’t be perfect no matter how hard I try

I want to quit life, because I can't stand to cry

You say that you are always there for me

But you still say I’m perfect, just let me be

I’m alone in life no one cares

I try to get used to all the stares

The tears help me go to sleep at night

Sometimes I don’t want to wake to see the daylight

Life, is a scary word to hear

I hate what I see when I look in the mirror

Why does perfect and me go together?

When I hear it, I say “never”

No one can know how I feel

I just hope that I can learn how to deal

Brandon says get help, but I think it’s too late

I just can't stand this world filled with hate

Why is it everyone assumes the best?

It’s like my life is a big test

If it isn’t perfect my parents are mad

Because of them I’m always sad

I know I shouldn’t blame

But because of them I put my head down in shame

Poetry is one way I have learned to cope

Should I live? The answer is nope.

Maybe if I stop eating, I’ll die

Then I’ll never again have to cry

Some people will listen to what I have to say

They help me get through day by day

I just want to die, all this to end

I love you all who stayed my friend

Through thick and thin you’d try to be there

But in the end, I still don’t know if you care

I know I should be the one to want to eat

Between life and me, I’ve been beat

People say tiny when they talk about me

I wish people would forget and let me be

Or if they really care, they should know

Something’s wrong, weight loss is beginning to show

The thoughts I have people would call insane

My tears fall like pouring rain

This life I live is not the best

I have failed my final life test

The end to hearing I’m perfect again

The end to feeling like eating is a sin.

January 15, 2004

By: Sarah Bumgardner

Name = brea
Email = empty_nothingness@hotmail.com

I cut deep into my skin and let the pain rush
through me and clear my head.
Push away the confusion and anxiety and let it just be pain.
One thing i know, amid the cluster.
Pain is pure.