My personal recovery story may be very different from others who have recovered from Anorexia.  I didn't recover through a treatment program or even by reaching an extreme low.  My recovery happened when a significant change happened in my life: the discovery that I was pregant.  Here I was starving myself, hating myself, trying to punish myself, and control all my hurtful emotions by not eating, yet also here I was ready to become a mom.  This is the point where I had to make a choice.  I either had to recover for the health of my daughter or continue on with my ED and kill my daughter.  Clearly, my choice was simple; I had to somehow, someway get better for my daughter.  I know or knew in my heart that I am a very loving person who only hates or hated myself but not others.  My mind was set and I started eating healthy immediately.  I gained 65 astonishing pounds while I was pregnant and delivered a healthy full-term 7lb 14 oz daughter, Amira Rezwana on April 18th 2005.  I did good with my eating disorder for 2 years then recently it has been creeping back into my life.  I am not sure why it is resurfacing in my life.  I just know that it's back.  I am obsessed with the scale and weigh myself over 20 times a day, I restrict a little (I still eat 3 small healthy meals a day, but no snacks), exercise and do yoga.  This has just recently started and I am hoping and praying that it doesn't get worse.  I need help and not sure who I can turn to.  I feel empty and alone but can't quite give up my ED even though I know I have to very soon..Oh man, life is so complicated but I know in a little while I will be writing here again to tell you that I am again better by the grace of God.  Please pray for my health...

Kristen