Things Dragon Ball characters would never say!:

Goku: No I'm really not hungry
Goku: "Vegeta, you should reconsider. Knight to C-6 allows for mate in 14 moves."
Goku: "Chi-chi, I've had enough with this 'my-son-has-to-study bullshit."
Goku: "No, please. I couldn't eat another bite!"
Goku: "Well, this guy is clearly invincible and we don't stand a chance. I give up."
Goku: "Are you just using me for my body, Chi-chi?"
Goku: "I'm converting to Judaism."
Goku: "Did you know that in some countries in Africa, children don't even have enough food to live?"
Goku: "Chi-chi, for our anniversary, I got reservations at the most exclusive restaurant in town. Afterwards, we can take luxuriously calm carriage ride through the park, and retire in the hot springs of Hakone."
Goku: (after SSJ transformation) "Whoa, the legend is true! My head isn't the only part with golden hair!"
Gohan: "You guys never listen to me! You're the worst parents ever!"
Gohan: "Yesterday I smoked pot."
Gohan: "Leave me alone, I'm spanking the dolphin!"
Gohan: "Woodland creatures make me horny."
Gohan: "Mom! Just shut the hell up for a second and listen to me!"
Goten: "I can't get any play!"
Chi-Chi: "Goku, I love you for who you are, and you're perfect!"
Chi-Chi: "C'mon Goku, let's go do a little 'sparring' together" *wink*
Chi-Chi: "Goku, the firmness of your body is truly exciting me."
Mr. Popo: "Kami, after much thought, I've decided to join the Nation of Islam."
Kami: "Actually, I never really liked that 'Goku' character from day one."
Vegeta: "This blush really accentuates my cheeckbones."
Vegeta: "Wow, with life perspective, this whole 'saiyan pride' mumbo-jumbo seems totally pointless."
Vegeta: "You know what they say about guys with big foreheads..."
Vegeta: "To make up for all I've done, I'm going to become a charity worker
for children's aid."
Vegeta: "Goku, I think it's time I came out of the closet. I've been attracted to you since the day we met, but with all the pressures of society, I was unable to express my true feelings for fear of rejection. Instead, I channeled all my anger at society towards you. Wow, it's great to get that off my chest. Can we still have a meaningful relationship?"
Vegeta: "Bulma, I'm beginning to doubt my ability to... perform."
Vegeta: "I really ought to see a barber."
Vegeta: "Wow, pulling nosehairs is tremendously painful!"
Vegeta: "Oh sure, I may act macho, but *sob* deep down, I'm really sensitive, and I'm hurting."
Brolly: "Maybe I should lay off the Weight Gainer's 2000 formula."
Brolly: "You know what would be really cool? Imagine what I would look like
with red contact lenses!"
Paragus: "Hey, Brolly, get this! Your name resembles the word Broccoli, and mine resembles Asparagus! Guess we have more in common than being father and son, eh?"
Krillin: "I am SO sexy."
Krillin: "All my life I've been in Goku's shadow. This is going to end here and now!"
Krillin: "Perhaps I should reconcile with Piccolo in order to lead a less stressful life."
Krillin: "Wow, I never noticed it before, but my head bears an incredibly strong resemblance to a bowling ball!"
Master-Roshi: "Krillin, please. I'm not interested in lurid pictures of women."
Master-Roshi: "No, it's OK Bulma. Put your bra back on and let's talk this through."
Bulma: "Alright Roshi, you, me, and the bathroom. Let's go!"
Bulma: "I could drop you like a sac of potatoes!"
Bulma: "Computer? What the hell is that?"
Bulma: "I'm considering going with a more conversative, brunette look."
Piccolo: "For Halloween, I'm going to dress up as myself."
Piccolo: "Sometimes I worry about being emotionally unstable."
Piccolo: "Cowardice really turns me on."
Piccolo: *Points towards to women in a quarrel* "Catfight! Mee-oww!"
Piccolo: "My therapist says I need a vacation. I'm thinking about Hawaii."
Piccolo: "Damn, Chi-chi is a FOX!"
Dende: "I feel like doing something really evil."
Cell: "Fighting sucks. Let's go to the movies."
Cell: "Goku, I swear! You are the living image of my ex!"
Cell: "...for better or for worse. Until death do us part..."
Cell: "Onigiri, enough for everyone! I made them myself!"
Buu: "I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner! That is what I'd really like to be..."
Nappa: "Am I cute or what?"
Radditz: "My secret? Well let's just say that every serious fighter starts their day with Cheerios."
Captain Ginyu: "Alright Goku! We'll start on 3. Remember, let's keep this fight fair and square."
King Kai: "Do I really sound like that?"
King Kai:"I've been thinking it over, and well, my jokes really aren't cutting it anymore."
King Kai: "Did any of you see Seinfeld last night? Now THAT was funny!"
King Kai: "I'm a fat half-catfish-half-man with a bad sense of humor and ugly sunglasses."

Goten-Knock-Knock
Goku-Who's there?
Goten-Goten
Goku-*opens the door* oh, hi son!
Goten-d**n it Dad, you did it wrong again!!

Bra-Knock-Knock
Vegeta-Who's there?
Bra-Bra
Vegeta-Bra who?
Bra-Dad, stop acting like a kid and open the d**n door!

Baby-Knock-Knock
Goten-Who's there?
Baby-Baby
Goten-Know reall, who's there?
Baby-Baby
Goten-Really? Your name is Baby? HAHAHAHA
Baby-(walking away) there's no sympathy in this f***ing world!

Chi-Chi-Why did the chicken cross the road?
Goku-Ummm, a, wait a minute, ummm, I know this, a, what's a chicken?

10 reasons why DBZ is better than Pokemon

1. It has fit women who have properly matured, rather than little 11 year old girls.
2. Great fight scenes
3. You can get away with wearing DBZ merchandise in public without getting beat up
4. You're not automatically dubbed "gay" for using the word DBZ, whereas its the opposite when speaking of Pokemon
5. People will actually die in DBZ, whereas they feint in pokemon
6. The main characters are actually likeable, and have gone through puberty
7. There are original plot lines in every single episode of DBZ, instead of having Team Rocket come and goof up every time
8. The transformations are incredible in DBZ, but an evolution makes you fall asleep
9. The cutest DBZ character is capable of killing anyone in one punch
10. DBZ characters actually change clothes once in a while.

REJECTED DBZ MOVIE NAMES Well, we all know how bad the DBZ movie titles are, but what about the rejected ones, they must have been even worse! I have complied a list of the rejected titles for your enjoyment!!! The Dead Zone/Return My Gohan! Big Tough Immortal Guy Gohan Kills Big Tough Immortal Guy Big Tough Immortal Guy Vs Goku And Piccolo Get Back Here Son Before You Miss Tea! Literally Living Your Dreams Through Your Son The Worlds Strongest Man/The Worlds Strongest Tough Guy Big Bad Brain Beater! Goku Does All The Work. Put Your Trust In Goku! The Super Evil Brain Guy! The Circus Sideshow Weight Lifter! Ultimate Decisive Battle For Earth/Tree Of Might Goku Beats The Bad Guy Again Don't Worry Everyone, Goku Will Win! Another Saiyan Survivor! The Other Evil Brother Of Goku! Tree With Tasty Food That Makes You Really Powerful And Gives You Extra Strength Grapevine Of Power. Turles The Evil Saiyan Attacks! Super Saiyan Son Goku Pile Of Crap That Shouldn't Be Watched By Anyone, Not Even Hardcore Fans! Goku Saves The Day Again! Piccolo Rips His Ears Off And It Hurts Him! Super Saiyan Son Goku....Without The Showing Of a Super Saiyan! Super Namek Vs Super Saiyan! The Battle Of Bad Names! The Best Of Strongest Vs Strongest Frieza's More Powerful, Previous Unmentioned Brother! Goku Saves The Day Yet Again! Can't Someone Else Do It For Once? Super Saiyan Son Goku...For Real This Time The Third In a Line Of Icebox Salesmen! Kula's Vacation To Earth Clash! 10,000,000,000 Power Warriors Kula Returns And This Time He's Got New Threads! The Guy Everyone Mistakes For Frieza! The Best Of Strongest Vs Strongest....2! This Time It's Personal! Son Goku, Just Buy The Damn Icebox! Vegeta's Movie Debut! The Big Bastard Battle! Utmost Limits Of Battle! The Three Super Saiyan! More Androids! I Thought They Were All Dead! Goku Beats Everyone Up Yet Again! Next Time Someone Else Can Do It! Where Were These Androids Before? The Made Up Robots To Make a Good Movie! The Guy Who's Stronger Than Goku! What Else Is Knew? Goku Always Wins In The End! Super Saiyan...They're Everywhere! And More Androids! ARGH! Am I Insane?! Burnout! Fierce Fight, Violent Fight, Super-Exciting Fight! Another Super Saiyan! Don't Worry, Goku Will Be More Powerful Than Him! That's It! I Quit! Goku Gets Tired Of Beating The Bad Guy Every time. Guy Who Is Too Hard To Hurt And Never Stops Beating Everyone Up And Seems Indestructible! Crap Fight, Boring Fight, Super-Tedious Fight! Slow, Dumb, But Rock Hard Villain Vs Son Goku And Friends. The Galaxy's In Danger! The Super Awesome Guy! Finally Goku Doesn't Kill The Bad Guy! It's Up To You Son Gohan! The Super Duper, Fantastic, Cool, Dudey, Spectacular, Mega-Ace, Triumphant, Unbeatable, Powerful Guy! Bad Boy Big Bastard Bojack Beats Up Benevolent Brave Battlers! Gohan, Kill Him For Daddy! I Knew I Should Have Taken a Left At Jupiter! The Misdirected Guy! Dangerous Partners! Super-Warriors Never Rest! Didn't Brolli Die Before? The Revival Of The Tough Ass Guy! Goku And Vegeta Are Dead! How Can Anyone Kill Brolli Now?! Trunks, Pull You Trousers Down! Goten, Make The Damn Wish Already! Mischievous Buddies! Super-Grade School Kids Never Rest! Crushing Super-Warrior. I Am The Winner! Overused Bad Guy Getting Boring! Let's Kill Brolli Without Goku Again! He's Not Going To Survive This Encounter! He Will Be The Loser! Repeated Stabbing To Brolli's Heart. I Am The Winner! Ugly Melting Brown Thing! It Must Be Brolli Again! The Rebirth Of Fusion! Goku And Vegeta! Let's Fuse! The Funny Film! Janemba Is a Stereotypical Sumo! He's So Fat! How Can We Ever Stop Laughing? The Super Overweight Guy! Goku And Vegeta Kill The Bad Guy Again! Can't Piccolo Do It For Once? The Birth Of Gogetta! Why Didn't We Fuse From The Start? Dragon Fist Explosion! If Goku Can't Do It, Who Can? Goku Kills The Villain Again. Originality Is Non-Existent! Big Monster Thing That Is Too Powerful To Destroy. Don't Worry, We Have Goku! Brave Warrior Chap Who Trunks Likes! Big Monster Guy Who No One Likes! Kill Them Both Goku! Godzilla Rip Off! We Are Breaking a Copyright! Curiosity Killed The Cat! They Had To Open That Box Didn't They! The History Of Trunks Trunks, This Is Your Life! Remember The Good Old Days On The Farm... Everyone Is Dead Except Gohan And Trunks! This Is The Story Of How They Got Beat Up By The Androids! The Kid With Infinite Strength! Trunks, Win It For Your Dad! Androids Attack! Let's Try To Kill Them! Bardock - The Father Of Goku Bardock - The Father Of Goku And Raditz...And Turles...But Goku Is The Only One Worth Mentioning Bardock The Powerful Saiyan! He May Be Low Class, But He Kicked Henchmen's Butts! Two Point Four Children. Bardock Is The Star! I Can See The Future! Frieza, Your End Is Nigh! Goku, You're a Chip Off The Old Block! You're a Replica Of Me! 14th Anniversary Special - The Biography Of Son Goku Kids Can Be Super Saiyans Too You Know! Another Goku Replica! Character Design Ideas Are Non-Existent! The Deceiving Title. All you Fools Bought This Tape Thinking It Was About Bardock's Son. MWA HA HA! We Are So Clever! KameHameHa! Why Can't You Use That Attack Kid? Use The Key To Bravery! Grab a Dragonball While They're Cheap!

Just a story

Night falls, and the owls hoot. Shadows loom over everything, and the moon is the only thing that can light up the dark sky. It’s rays do enough to make a tiny figure visible. This figure is small, and in a black outfit, hiding, waiting for his opportunity. An owl hoots, and at exactly the same time, the figure opens up the window to the room that he is in. Waiting for the next sound, the figure is on his toes, ready. He has done this before, it is apparent, and is more obvious than a drunk at a ballet lesson. Crickets chirp, and the figurer silently dives out of the window with utmost grace. He rolls on the soft grass a couple of times, then springs up, and dives into the shadows once again. Taking a radio from his pocket, the figure begins speaking into it.

"Alpha two zero, this is Alpha two zero, come in Bravo"

"This is Bravo, I read you clear Alpha two zero"

"I am out of the compound, now I need directions to get into the forest undetected, after that, I’m home free"

"Ok, listen carefully Alpha two zero, deploy plan four-B. The guardian is asleep, now is your chance. You know how alert she is though, so creep carefully."

"Oh yeah, plan four-B! Why didn’t I think of that? Err…what’s four-B again?"

"Oh…I was hoping you knew…"

"Damn, we’re buggered then."

"Wait Alpha two zero, how about this – You sneak across the perimeter, then sprint really, really fast away."

"Bravo, you are a tactical genius!"

"Call me Krillen"

"Krillen, we’re not meant to divulge our real names, what if this line is tapped?"

No answer.

"Krillen? Krillen? Krillen, speak to me! Damn, looks like I’m on my own (Mission Impossible music plays)"

Gohan sneaks quietly across the wall to the house, careful not to make any sort of sound. He doesn’t dare look into the window of the guardian’s house, in fear of her waking up. Gohan treads silently round the corner, and sees Krillen…err…I mean Bravo on the floor, unconscious, with a huge lump on his head.

"No! Krillen, what have they done to you? Why’d you have to reveal your real name, you know how violent the guardian gets! Why! Take me! Take me!"

"It’s ok bro, I’m still alive…although I took quite a knock…"

"I bet you just tripped over and grazed your elbow didn’t you!"

"Well, that was why I initially wasn’t replying, I was in agony from that (Gohan slaps his head in embarrassment), but then the guardian got me, and she’ll get you too if you don’t go now."

"I…I…I can’t leave you Krillen."

"I said go now!"

"Who you trying to scare? I’m as big as you, and I’m only a few years old. And I’m more powerful too!"

"Shut up Gohan!"

"You idiot!"

"Oh yeah, I said your name…heh heh heh"

Gohan looks towards Krillen, then punches him directly in the eye for being such a moron. "Idiot". He then continues on, seeing the forest right before his very own eyes. He excitedly runs towards it, until he is seen by the guardian.

"GOHAN!"

"No! Why now? I came so far! I’m not turning back now, I will not let Krillen’s sacrifice go in vain…actually, it was partially me who beat him up. Never mind hehehe. Anyway, got to come up with a cunning, devious plan, capable of escaping the most complex security systems, or the most watchful guards…I’ve got it!"

Gohan begins madly running away as fast as he can. What a magnificent plan. He gets to the border of the woods, but before he can enter it, the guardian appears in front of him, and punches him across the face.

"Damn…so close!" Gohan mumbled, before losing consciousness.

A few hours later, Gohan awakes, in his bed. Thinking it was all a dream, he smiles, but when he sees Chi-Chi towering over him, he realizes otherwise.

"The…the guardian…" He mumbles quietly.

"That’s right Gohan! What made you think you could sneak out to have…have…fun?!" Saying the final word almost scares Chi-Chi. The prospect of anyone having fun is like a nightmare to her. She finds it more despicable than innocent people being killed for no reason. "Answer me Gohan!"

"I…I…I wanted to go to a party at Roshi’s house…"

"And you really thought you could escape me?! How dare you!" She roared at her son, making him hold on to the bed so that he isn’t blown away because of the power of the shout.

"How…how did she know?" Gohan said almost silently to himself, under his breath.

"That idiot Krillen gave it away, making all that noise when he fell over and grazed his knee. Then I heard you calling in on the radio!"

"Please…please don’t torture me again like last time!"

"There’s only one way to keep you in bed when you should be" Chi-Chi said innocently. She then gets a load of rope, and ties Gohan down to it, walking out, laughing like a maniac.

"Damn, maybe next time" Gohan said to himself.

"Take that attitude, and there will be no next time!" Chi-Chi roared from the other room.

"Damn her hearing good. (Groan) I’ll never have any fun!" Gohan moaned.

More Dragon Ball Jokes
*~ Goku, Krillin, Gohan & Piccolo gather around.. Goku: "I want you guys to help me look for the Dragonballs. We will meet back here in 3 hours." *~ A few hours later... Goku: "How many Dragonballs did you find Gohan?" Gohan: "Just 3 dad." Goku: "How many Dragonballs did you find Piccolo?" Piccolo: "Only 2!" Goku: "How about you Krillin, how many Dragonballs did you find?" *~ Krillin all beat up and tired responds... Krillin: "Dragonballs?!?! I thought you said to bring back the Dragon's Balls..." Gohan Transformation *~ One dark night, Gohan glances around and sees something. He then transforms into the were-monkey and starts destroying things Piccolo: "What?! This can't be! I, I destroyed the... There can't be a full moon!" *~ Goku looks at Yajirobe Goku: "What'cha got there?" *~ Yajirobe is seen bending over picking up a penny Shenron's Sadness Vegeta and Goku are fighting and all of a sudden Goku stops and says,"Have you noticed that everytime we sumon Shenron he is always sad". Vegeta replies,"Yeah, now that you metion it he does". They then continue to fight. After a while Vegeta stops and says,"I know why he is always sad. If you had people losing and handling your seven balls you would be pretty miserable too" The Decision *~ Yamcha is in the gateway where it is being decided if he will go to hell or heaven, but he did alot of good and bad things in his life so it makes the decision harder. King Yemma tells Yamcha to tell him one really good deed and he will let Yamcha go to heaven. Yamcha: "I was driving on the highway when I saw Bulma being harrased by Vegeta. So I stoped the car and went up to Vegeta and punched him in his face, and said leave Bulma alone!" King Yemma asks, "When did this happen?" Yamcha: "About 5 minutes ago.          Dragon Ball Z Humor Pictures A picture of Piccolo and his family                                                                          Crazy Fusions  +  = Goku                                            Vegeta                                                               Gogeta  + = Goku                                            Vegeta                                                                Vegetto  +  = Krillin                                   Goku                                         Krilloku  + = Yamcha                                            Tien                                                                Tiencha  + = Dende                                                        Goku                                         Dengoku  = Goten                                   Trunks        Gotrunks  + = Kaioshin                                              Kibito                                                   Kibitoshin  + = Witch                                                            Kaioshin                                                        Elder Kai    + = Goku                                         Mr Satan/Hercule                          Gokule  + = Vegeta                                                            Picollo                                                        Picceta  + = Android 17 (Good)                     Android 17 (Bad)                         Super Hell Fighter (Super Android 17)  + = Piccolo                                                         Krillin                                   Kricolo???  + + = Android 14                                 Android 15                                 Android 13                                Super Android 13    But when the Fusion goes wrong!!!                                                                 BUU transformations   Kid Buu- Created by Bibidi around 5,000,000 BC   Kid Buu ( North Kaioshin absorbed )- The name says it all   Fat Buu- After absorbing South Kaioshin that was a good and kind man he became kidish and lost power   Evil Buu- Fat Buu released his evil while trying to contain it creating Evil Buu   Super Buu- Evil Buu absorbs Fat Buu after turning him into chocolate   Super Buu ( Gotrunks absorbed )- After realising there was someone stronger than him Buu thought up a plan  to absorb Gotrunks and Piccolo   Super Buu ( Piccolo absorbed )- The Fusion ran out of time turning Buu into a much weaker being   Super Buu ( Gohan absorbed )- After realising that he could be in trouble Buu absorbed Gohan