Shelley Duncan Facts

1.) Every time Shelley Duncan blinks a new day begins

2.) Michael Jackson used to be black....before he pissed off Shelley Duncan

3.) Every time Shelley Duncan jumps he punches the sun in the eyes

4.) Shelley Duncan can pleasure a woman just by looking at her

5.) Shelley Duncan invented the Gyro-Ball

6.) Shelley Duncan can hit a home run from all 5 sides of the plate

7.) When Shelley was 5 years old he impregnated a woman, 9 months later she gave birth to an 8 pound 6 ounce bar of gold

8.) Shelley Duncan can and will pleasure every woman in the world

9.) Shelley Duncan is 215 pounds of pure Ethiopian gold

10.) Cole Hamels and Chuck Norris wear Shelley Duncan underwear

11.) Shelley once finished the 12-minute run in 11 minutes

12.) In 1969, millions of people began burning their Beatles albums after John Lennon proclaimed "We are bigger than Shelley Duncan"

13.) Jesus has accepted Shelley Duncan as his personal savior

14.) Hugh Hefner asks advice from Shelly Duncan for tips on picking up girls

15.) When Michael Vick goes to dog fights...he bets on Shelley Duncan

16.) Shelley Duncan can spread AIDS but does not have it

17.) Shelley Duncan invented condoms and still doesn't even need to use them

18.) Shelley Duncan invented the iPhone

19.) Shelley Duncan's high fives can kill adult water buffalo

20.) Osama Bin Laden is in hiding because of Shelley Duncan  

21.) Iran and North Korea have nuclear weapons to protect their countries from Shelley Duncan

22.) Not to be outdone by Prince Fielder Shelley Duncan was hitting home runs to the upper deck of Tiger Stadium at age 9

23.) The U.S. thought Iraq had W.M.D.'s because Shelley Duncan was on vacation there

24.) The chief export of Shelley Duncan is home runs

25.) When pitchers go to sleep they check their closets for Shelley Duncan

26.)  The reason Shelley Duncan does not play everyday is because the Yankees did not want to be accused of cheating

27.)  Barry Bonds tested positive for Shelley Duncan

28.)  Steroids were created so people could be half as good as Shelley Duncan

29.) Shelley Duncan invented masturbation because he felt bad for every other guy because he gets all the girls

30.)  If you ask your friend, "Would you tap that girl?," just know, Shelley Duncan already did.

31.) Shelley Duncan's tears cure cancer, too bad Shelley Duncan never cries

32.) Shelley Duncan will hit 500 home runs before A-Rod

33.) The Shelley Duncan high five is now a form of capital punishment

34.) Shelley Duncan is illegal in 79 countries and 14 states

35.) Shelley Duncan has been declared Prime minister of pain

36.) Shelley Duncan hit five home runs in four at bats

37.) Chris Duncan is a Major Leaguer because people hope he will be half as good as Shelley

38.) Shelley Duncan taught Dave Duncan everything he knows about pitching at age one

39.) Shelley Duncan could be the fastest player ever to reach 500 home runs, but he is too busy fighting crime during off-days and inning breaks

40.) Shelley Duncan is the Pinball Wizard

41.) When Shelley Duncan was a child he did not do his homework he did the teacher

42.) Shelley Duncan does not have blood in his veins he has magma

43.) Scott Proctor was traded because Shelley Duncan did not like him

44.) Chuck Norris' wife yells Shelley during their sex

45.) Shelley Duncan pisses excellence

46.) The intentional walk was invented just for Shelley Duncan

47.)  Guns don't kill people Shelley Duncan does

48.) Shelley Duncan high fived the o-zone layer and started global warming

49.) Shelley Duncan does not need steroids.  His natural testosterone level is equivalent to that of a large male horse.... on steroids

50.) Shelley Duncan could have convicted O.J.

51.) Shelley Duncan likes it stirred not shaken

52.) Shelley Duncan invented gravity

53.) Shelley Duncan body slammed Andre the Giant

54.) Shelley Duncan brought sexy back and gave it to Justin Timberlake so he could make a song

55.) Shelley Duncan makes Chuck Norris look like Chuck Knoblauch

56.) Shelley Duncan shot the Deputy

57.) Bill Gates calls Shelley Duncan when his computer freezes

58.) Shelley Duncan roundhouse kicked Chuck Norris to the face

59.) The are no nuclear weapons in Iraq. Shelley Duncan lives in New York

60.) Shelley Duncan is not gay he just ran out of women to fuck

61.) Its all fun and games until Shelley Duncan hits a HR.  Then its hilarious

62.) Shelley Duncan is smarter than a 5th grader

63.) Shelley Duncan has Super AIDS

64.) Waldo is in hiding because of Shelley Duncan

65.) Shelley Duncan is Jesus' Homeboy

66.) Shelley Duncan once hit a home run just by yelling "BANG"

67.) Shelley Duncan can slam revolving doors

68.) Shelley Duncan is Luke Skywalker's Father

69.) Shelley Duncan CAN believe it's not butter

70.) Under Chuck Norris' beard is not a chin but a Shelley Duncan

71.) When Shelley Duncan does a push-up he is not pushing himself up but pushing the world down

72.) If Shelley Duncan is late YOU BETTER SLOW THE FUCK DOWN

73.) There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Shelley Duncan allows to live.

74.) Shelley Duncan survived a suicide bombing in which he was the bomber

75.) SHELLEY DUNCAN MAKES ONIONS CRY!!!!!

76.) Shelley Duncan died two months ago but the reaper is still afraid to tell him

77.) When Shelley Duncan excises he makes the machine stronger

78.) Shelley Duncan  refers to himself in the 6th person

79.) Shelley Duncan scares the shit out of even the most constipated people

80.) Shelley Duncan doesn't open a can of woop-ass he makes his own

81.) Shelley Duncan let the dogs out

82.) The fastest car in the world has 7 gears........5, 6, and Shelley Duncan

83.) Shelley Duncan is the only man in the world to defeat a wall in a game of Tennis

84.) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story; Shelley Duncan once swallowed a turtle whole and then he crapped it out, The turtle was six feet tall and learned KARATE

85.) Shelley  Duncan can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves

86.) Shelley Duncan can sneeze with his eyes open

87.) Shelley Duncan trick-or-treated as himself on Halloween as a child

88.) The quickest way to a man's heart is Shelley Duncan's High fives

89.) Mr. T pitys the fool. Shelley Duncan rips the fools head off

90.) In the bible Jesus turned water to wine then his brother Shelley Duncan turned it into beer

91.) Count from 1-10..................thats how fast it would take Shelley Duncan to kill you..........56 times

92.) Who ever said "Only the good die young" was in Shelley Duncan's kindergarten classroom

93.) Shelley Duncan is a 147 tool player.............impressive

94.) A-Rod wished he had Shelley Duncan's good looks

95.) Light has to kick it into high gear just to try and keep up with Shelley Duncan's bat speed.

96.) Shelley Duncan was offered a chance to work in porn, but no women would work with him for fear they'd never get to their next scene. Or walk straight again.

97.) Shelley Duncan can eat tons of Indian food and never have diarrhea. He has done it 147,000 times, a world record.

98.) Shelley Duncan goes swimming right after he eats AND runs with scissors!!!!

99.) Shelley Duncan can fix the Lions.

100.) Shelley Duncan doesn't need a bat to hit, he uses his arm.

101.) Shelley Duncan can make a kosher cheeseburger.

102.) Shelley Duncan picks a perfect NCAA tournament bracket every year.

103.) Shelley Duncan isn't afraid of the beast that lives next to the Sandlot

104.) "Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Shelley Duncan calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

105.) Shelley Duncan is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

106.) Police label anyone who attacks Shelley Duncan a 45-11.................suicide

107.) Shelley Duncan does not shave he uses liquid hot magma

108.) If you spell Shelley Duncan in Scrabble...you win......forever

109.) Shelley Duncan can cook minute rice in 30 seconds

110.) Shelley Duncan does not know about this website.....if he did he would have deleted the internet

111.) Shelley Duncan would never have a heart attack. His heart is not dumb enough to attack him

112.) Shelley Duncan once bet NASA that he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 22 2005 a naked Shelley Duncan re-entered the earth's atmosphere streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed  NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer

113.) Shelley Duncan will win a Gold Slugger

114.) Shelley Duncan can beat Jose Reyes in a Race

115.) Shelley Duncan can watch 60 minutes in a half hour

116.) Shelley Duncan can Alphabetize M&M's

117.) Shelley Duncan is Don King's barber

118.) Shelley Duncan has found and is hiding Amelia Airheart's location

119.) Shelley Duncan has caught all 150 Pokemon....twice

120.) Shelley Duncan's Hall of Fame plaque is mounted backwards.....so the whole world can kiss his ass in praise

121.) Kim Jones is Shelley Duncan's Bitch (Watch the first video in Shelley Duncan's videos)

122.) Shelley Duncan is Daryl Strawberry's dealer.

123.) Shelley Duncan can smell what The Rock is cooking.

124.) Shelley Duncan is 27.....................................inches

125.) Shelley Duncan can be seen from Space

126.) 100% of women scream "Shelley Duncan!" at the height of pleasure. So do over 99% of men. (This is only because Shelley does not scream out his own name.) 

127.) Shelley Duncan...........................That's What She Said

128.) Shelley Duncan was 7 feet tall when he came out of the womb

129.) Shelley Duncan's whole life is an extended Axe Body Spray Commercial

130.) Britney Spears heard Shelley Duncan liked bald chicks

131.) Shelley Duncan is the angel in the outfield.

132.) Shelley Duncan does not wear a condom because there is no such thing as protection from Shelley Duncan.

133.) On his birthday, Shelley Duncan puts out the candles by blinking.

134.) The last time Shelley Duncan farted he killed the dinosaurs.

135.) Some kids pee their name in the snow. Shelley Duncan can pee his name into concrete.

136.) Shelley Duncan can speak braille.

137.) Once a cobra bit Shelley Duncan's leg......... after five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

138.) Shelley Duncan plays Russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver............ and wins.

139.) If Shelley Duncan were to have a heart attack......he would win.

140.) Shelley Duncan can kill two stones with one bird.

141.) Shelley Duncan can drown a fish.

142.) Each of Shelley Duncan's testicles are larger than the other one.

143.) Shelley Duncan's body temperature is 98.6 degrees..........Celsius.

144.) Shelley Duncan got in touch with his feminine side, and promptly got her pregnant.

145.) If you are on fire remember to stop drop and be Shelley Duncan.

146.) Shelley Duncan always gets black jack........even while playing poker.

147.) Shelley Duncan can get black jack with just one card.

148.) Shelley Duncan only uses one chopstick.

149.) Shelley Duncan uses all seven letters in Scrabble........ every turn.

150.) Sorry is a bad name for a game because when Shelley Duncan wins hes not sorry.

151.) The Yankees are not on steroids, Shelley Duncan has just breathed on all of them.

152.) Shelley Duncan has his own line at the DMV.

153.) Shelley Duncan puts the laughter in manslaughter.

154.) After one night with Shelley Duncan......Lady Liberty wasn't blind anymore.

155.) Shelley Duncan invented the Ocean

156.) Shelley Duncan knows what the Ying Yang twins are saying

157.) If you look into Shelley Duncan's Eyes you turn to stone.

158.) Shelley Duncan knows the last digit of PI

159.) Shelley Duncan shovel tossed Shane Spencer to Japan

160.) Shelley Duncan pisses The Macallan Fine and Rare Collection, 1926, 60 Years Old whiskey (around $38,000 a bottle)

161.) Shelley Duncan is not only a noun but also a verb

162.) The Bible was originally titled Shelley Duncan and Friends

163.) Shelley Duncan can (at will) emit light from all of his orifices

164.) After spending five days in Tijuana Shelley Duncan earned his Spanish nickname un Fucker malo loco de madre de asno (which means one crazy bad ass mother fucker)

165.) Shelley Duncan can draw a perfect circle

166.) Delmon Young threw a bat at a minor league umpire when he was told "You're not Shelley Duncan"

167.) Shelley Duncan has hit 14 home runs with his back swing

168.) Shelley Duncan was the stunt man in the movie THE MATRIX

169.) The Tsunami of 2004 was a result of one of Shelley Duncan's home runs landing in the Indian Ocean. Graciously, Shelley has since apologized.

170.) An earthquake is occurs every time Shelley Duncan makes love (There are 600,000 + earthquakes a year and we don't feel most of them)

171.) Shelley Duncan is the man from Nantucket

172.) Shelley Duncan knows what you did last summer

173.) Instead of cool people just say "Thats Shelley"

174.) Shelley Duncan doesn't own an air conditioner he is cool enough already

175.) Shelley Duncan's eyes get HBO

176.) Shelley Duncan doesn't read HE KNOWS

177.) It's Shelley Duncan's world: he just lets you live here

178.)When Shelley Duncan hits soft ground balls he breaks legs

179.) Shelley Duncan has more friends than Dane Cook on Myspace

180.) Shelley Duncan can sneeze with his eyes open

181.) Shelley Duncan did Johnny Damon's wife by shape shifting into Johnny. He could have done her with out shape shifting but he liked the mystique

182.) The Ocean Waves depend on Shelley Duncan's Mood

183.)  The Baseball Hall of Fame changed it name yesterday to "The Shelley Duncan Club."

184.) Shelley Duncan hair is made of Real Chinese Silk which he can grow at will from his scalp

185.) Shelley Duncan once stuck a fork in a power outlet and their was a power surge cause the whole town to lost power for a week

186.) Shelley Duncan invented Margarine

187.) Shelley Duncan invented underwater matches

188.) Shelley Duncan has his own language and this is the alphabet

                                HR

189.) Shelley Duncan can lick both his elbows at the same time

190.) UPS officially changed it slogan to "What can Shelley Duncan do for you" which is just about everything

191.) Canada has no army because it attacked Shelley Duncan

192.) Shelley Duncan is the real Slim Shady

193.) There are 7 natural wonders on the earth. Mount Everest, Victoria Falls, the Grand canyon, the Great Barrier Reef, the Nothern Lights, the Harbor of Rio de Janeiro, and Shelley Duncan.

194.) Shelley Duncan knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

195.) There are only 2 things that can survive a nuclear attack: roaches and Shelley Duncan

196.) When Shelley Duncan hits a jukebox like the Fonz in Happy Days it doesn't play music....gold coins pour out of it like a slot machine

197.) Chuck Norris is Shelley Duncan

198.) Michael Vick bets on dogs......Shelley Duncan fights against bears

199.) After Shelley Duncan has sex with a woman they no longer have periods

200.) The train the Eddie Griffin's SUV crashed into was really one of Shelley Duncan biceps

201.) When Shelley Duncan farts a Nucleus splits

202.) When Shelley Duncan swims he does not get wet.

203.) The song "Hips Don't Lie" was written about Shelley Duncan

204.) If Shelley Duncan spins a CD on his fingernail music plays

205.) Shelley Duncan told Cassius Clay to change his name

206.) Shelley Duncan can hit for the cycle in 3 at bats

207.) Shelley Duncan is Drew Henson......inverted 

208.) Shelley Duncan can fix the Knicks

209.) Every time Shelley Duncan enter a room the song " Panama by. Van Halen" Plays accompanied by a blinding light

210.) The song "Big Poppa" By. Notorious B.I.G. was officially changed....these are the lyrics now " I love it when you call me Shelley Duncan"

211.) Shelley Duncan's life is just a lifelong episode of the show "Flavor of Love" without as much black people and fewer STD's

212.) Shelley Duncan was born with gold teeth and rappers wear fake Shelley Duncan teeth also known as "Grillz" to try and be like him

213.) Shelley Duncan can fix Eli Manning and Chad Pennington in one sitting

214.) Michael Strahan isn't coming to training camp because he is too busy watching Shelley Duncan. He told the Giants he will be back after the World Series.

215.) Shelley Duncan thought of selling bottled water

216.) When A-Rod hangs around Shelley Duncan he is a little less gay

217.) Shelley Duncan's singing can cure genital warts

218.) Apple iPhone's nickname is " The Jesus Phone" they wanted to name it " The Shelley Phone" but Shelley said it wasn't good enough

219.) Shelley Duncan beat Madden

220.) Gatoraid invented a new flavor called "Shelleyaid" this was instantly taken off the market because Gatoraid realized............Shelley needs no aid

221.) Tim Donhaney bet on Shelley Duncan

222.) One day Shelley was playing Wii baseball. He came up to bat and swung at the first pitch. The game freezed and a notice flashed " YOU WIN"

223.) Shelley Duncan parted the Red Sea...............(also know as Boston)

224.) Shelley Duncan's temperature is 1017. That is how many home runs he will hit in his career as well.

225.) Shelley Duncan must like this website............because if he did not I would be dead already

226.) Shelley Duncan once rode a Rodeo Bull for a day straight while doing his taxes

227.) Shelley Duncan high fived a guy and four generations of his dead family turned over in the grave

228.) Shelley Duncan makes Hank Aaron's swing look like Aaron Carter's

229.) Shelley Duncan is the Master Chief (Halo)

230.) Ever wonder why James Bond is Agent 007. Shelley Duncan killed agent 006, 005, 004, 003, 002 and 001.........at the same time. He only lets James Bond live because he likes his movies

231.) Shelley Duncan read and understood Moby Dick in an hour

232.) There is an alternate universe living in Shelley Duncan's belly button

233.) Shelley Duncan makes Barry Bonds' swing look like Barry Manilow's

234.) Men are gay because they hope they can get with Shelley Duncan. Women who are gay got banged by Shelley Duncan and now know that no other man will ever be able to please her.

235.) Shelley Duncan makes Mickey Mantle's swing look likes Mickey Mouse's

236.) Shelley Duncan can look directly at the sun while playing "Double Dutch"

237.) Amish People are people who are hiding from Shelley Duncan..............They all dress the same so he doesn't know which one is which..........but little do the foolish Amish know..............Shelley Duncan knows all

238.)  Shelley Duncan doesn't sleep.............he waits

239.) Derek Jeter may be Mr. November and Reggie Jackson may be Mr. October but Shelley Duncan is Mr. January, Mr. February, Mr. March, Mr. April,  Mr. May,  Mr. June, Mr. July, Mr. August, Mr. September, and Mr. December. (Mr. October and Mr. November are also Shelley Duncan but he lets Derek and Reggie have the titles cause they his homies)

240.) Nickelbacks' lead singer (Chad Kroger) sings like a dieing cow because Shelley Duncan punched him in the throat. Why would Shelley Duncan do this? you ask. Well # 1.)  They  make shitty music  # 2.)   They are from Canada (America's retarded brother)(we are nice to them but we don't really like them)

241.) When Shelley Duncan isn't playing baseball he is saving starving kids in Cambodia.

242.) Gillette changed it's slogan from "The best a man can get" because it was lies. Shelley Duncan is the best a man or a woman can get.

243.) The song " This is Why I'm Hot" first went "I'm Hot cause I know Shelley Duncan. You ain't cause you don't." But it didn't flow well enough so MIMS just went with something nonsensical.

244.) Bill Buckner missed the ball between his legs because he saw Shelley Duncan in the crowd.

245.) Few people know there are two bad guys in the Harry Potter Books. The First is Lord Voldemort. The second is he who must not be named (who is really Shelley Duncan)

246.) Tim Duncan is Shelley Duncan's socially retard cousin-in-law. (Shelley taught him how to play basketball because he felt bad)

247.) Harry Potter's scar isn't from Lord Voldemort. A Shelley Duncan home run hit him in the forehead a few hours before Lord Voldemort came to Harry's house. He came and killed Harry's parents demanding the home run ball that hit young Harry in the head. When they wouldn't tell him he killed them both and then moved onto young Harry. He cast the killing curse but it was bounced back because the spot where Shelley Duncan's home run ball hit was scared and blessed by Shelley.

248.) Shelley Duncan makes Willie Mays' swing look like Willy Wonka's

249.) Shelley Duncan is a world champion knife fighter and midget tosser

250.) Johnny Damon shaved his beard to look more like Shelley Duncan

251.) Shelley Duncan knows the answers to every past, present and future New York Times Crossword puzzles

252.) Shelley Duncan's fingernails are made of Elephant Ivory

253.) Shelley Duncan can eat Chinese food and then 30 minutes later not be hungry for any more

254.) Shelley Duncan get a hole in one in golf in mini golf every time

255.) Nike "Just Do It"......Shelley Duncan has already done it........REMEMBER THAT

256.) Shelley Duncan makes Michael Young's swing look like Michael Douglas'

257.) Hurricane Katrina was caused by a very long Shelley Duncan Home Run (i don't know how it works either)

258.) Alberto Gonzalez resigned because Shelley Duncan called him and said " Your time is up"

259.) When Shelley Duncan's "shit hits the fan"............the fan breaks

260.) Shelley Duncan can take a number 2...........standing up

261.) Every time Shelley Duncan gets a hit an Angel gets it's wings

262.) There are no disabled people...only people who briefly thought about a Shelley Duncan High Five

263.)  Ever wondered why Hawaii is so far out in the Pacific? It used to be a small pineapple-producing island 20 miles off the coast of San Diego. During one visit, Shelley Duncan ate a bad pineapple…

The rest, my friends, is history.

264.) Shelley Duncan's High Fives killed the Dinosaurs

265.) 150,000 Americans die from Shelley Duncan High Five related accidents every year

266.) Rocks learn from Shelley Duncan on how to be Rocks

267.) Shelley Duncan lost his virginity before his Mom or Dad did

268.) Shelley Duncan can make rocks bleed

269.) How many Shelley Duncan's does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE.....Shelley Duncan has Night Vision

270.) Shelley Duncan farts are irresistible to women. This is now canned and sold as Axe Body Spray

271.) When Shelley Duncan dies..........SHELLEY DUNCAN NEVER DIES

272.) Shelley Duncan is black from the waist down

273.) WWSDD...? Hit a Home Run.....That is WHAT SHELLEY DUNCAN WOULD DO

274.) Shelley Duncan is the only man to have played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and win

275.) Shelley Duncan doesn’t have the reflexes of a cat…cats have the reflexes of Shelley Duncan

276.) Shelley Duncan once beat up the ocean and took its lunch money

277.) Shelley Duncan has enough back strength to bang Rosie O'Donnel

278.) Shelley Duncan can touch MC Hammer

279.) Shelley Duncan can fart the alaphabet backwards

280.) When Shelley Duncan had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

281.) Shelley Duncan is what Willis was talking about

282.) Shelley Duncan knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

283.) There is a God...He’s just afraid that if he intervenes in human affairs again He’ll have to answer to Shelley Duncan

284.) Shelley Duncan never skipped class, class was always canceled because Shelley wasn't there

285.) Shelley Duncan did not play for his high school baseball team, Shelley Duncan WAS his high school baseball team

286.) Carl Pavano is scared to pitch because he will have to throw BP to Shelley Duncan

287.) If I had a dime for everytime Shelley Duncan hit a home run, Shelley Duncan would high five me in the face and take my dimes.

288.) Shelley Duncan invented "THE WAVE"

289.) There was once a rumor that Shelley Duncan was struck out by a Devil Ray Pitcher....This rumor was started by Shelley however to lure more Devil Ray Pitchers to him

290.) If a train leaves Denver at 12:35, Shelley Duncan will High Five it by 1:00

291.) Shelley Duncans' baseball card has slept with more women then most men

292.) The Sun rises in the east because Shelley Duncan sleeps facing the West

293.) Shelley Duncan doesn't study baseball....baseball is Shelley Duncan

294.) Shelley Duncan squeezes coal into his ass cheeks to make Diamonds

295.) Shelley Duncan is like a train, he stops for no one

296.) Shelley Duncan CAN eat one Lays Potato Chip

297.) Once Shelley Duncan ate 200 grapes and then a few hours later peed out wine

298.) Mortal Kombat is not a video game, it is a home video of Shelley Duncans' 5th birthday party

299.) The Burger King was knighted by Shelley Duncan

300.) You know why there are over 2500 unsolved murders per year in the United States? Because no man has ever been able to successfully finger print Shelley Duncan

301.) Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Shelley Duncan calls this “a slow Tuesday.”

302.) Shelley Duncan fought the law and won

303.) There were originally 20 commandments until Shelley Duncan high fived the other 10

304.) The Muppets were real people until they met Shelley Duncan

305.) Shelley Duncan's favorite color is PAIN

306.) Shelley Duncan high fived the black outta Tiger Woods

307.) Shelley Duncan has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of life there

308.) They once made a Shelley Duncan toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take shit from anybody

309.) I bet you can't read just one Shelley Duncan Fact....Shelley Duncan can though

310.) Shelley Duncan is the best thing since sliced bread....and he invented sliced bread

311.) Shelley Duncan's bat doubles as a Magic Wand

312.) Shelley Duncan scored 2500 on the SATs......at age 7

313.) Rick Ankiel could not pitch after he faced Shelley Duncan

314.) The plane that Roberto Clemente was in.........No i am not doing that

315.) Shelley Duncan DH's in the NL

316.) The Texans did not take Reggie Bush....because they thought they could get Shelley Duncan to be their Running Back

317.) When Shelley Duncan hits Mariano's Cutter he breaks the ball in half

318.) Shelley Duncan is currently hand building the new Yankee Stadium......that is why he does not start every day

319.) Shelley Duncan can win in Tic Tack Toe in two moves

320.) Shelley Duncan never loses in Tic Tack Toe.......ever

321.) Steve Bartman couldn't catch a Shelley Duncan foul ball

322.) Ben Roethlisberger didn't hit a car with his motorcycle. He hit Shelley Duncan's rock hard abs

323.) Shelley Duncan can make John Sterling and Michal Kay sound interesting

324.) Shelley Duncan can fix Suzyn Waldman

325.) Shelley Duncan invented bottled water

326.) Cars were invented to try and keep up with Shelley Duncan

327.) People who are in comas are people who thought they could beat Shelley Duncan in arm wrestling

328.) Shelley Duncan high fived the black way out of Barack Obama and the woman out of Hillary Clinton

329.) The end of "the Sopranos" was cut suddenly because what happened after that was so violent they could not show it on T.V. Tony Soprano was high fived by Shelley Duncan

330.) Shelley Duncan caught a cold once. The cold still has nightmares about the experience

331.) Shelley Duncan can catch mice with his feet

332.) When a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound........I don't know if it makes a sound but it was falling because Shelley Duncan hit it with a home run ball

333.) Shelley Duncan's high five is 5x stronger than Ivan Drago's punch.....Shelley Duncan could've killed Apollo Creed much faster

334.) Shelley Duncan is a master unicyclist (that fact is actually true)

335.) Shelley Duncan killed a man in Reno...but not to watch him die...He had just won the slots and Shelley was just congratulate him with an honest high five

336.) Shelley Duncan gets a toy at burger king without ordering a kids meal

337.) If Shelley Duncan's teachers got out of hand he would put them in detention

338.) Shelley Duncan types 907,800,610 words per second.

339.) Shelley Duncan high fived the Soviet Union and it collapsed.

340.) Shelley Duncan can play four guitars at once

341.) Switch hitters are really lefty's who want to be more like Shelley Duncan

342.) The Worlds strongest man contest started out as a Shelley Duncan Fan Club

343.) Shelley Duncan was the first to circumnavigate the world.......He did it with one home run ball

344.)  Shelley Duncan will  "never be your beast of burden"............HE'S JUST A BEAST

345.) Shelley Duncan's tongue is 3x longer than Gene Simmons.....He has choked four women (by accident) while kissing them.......SUCK THAT

346.) Shelley Duncan's tongue can feed a starving village of pygmies in New Guinea

347.) Shelley Duncan can win chess, checkers , and backgammon in one move ........at the same time

348.) Ruben Rivera got Derek Jeter's locker mixed up with Shelley Duncan's

349.) Shelley Duncan is the reason why Lance Bass went gay

350.) Sammy Sosa corked his bat to keep up with Shelley Duncan

351.) Shelley Duncan made "Gone in Sixty Seconds" Look Slow

352.) Shelley Duncan can make people with no legs run

353.) Shelley Duncan beat up a fat black kid in middle school named Milton.......Milton Bradley is on pissed off dude

354.) Shelley Duncan hand makes all the free give aways at Yankee Stadium

355.) Shelley Duncan high fived Humpty Dumpty off the wall

356.) Guinness' new book of world record has one page and in big letters it just says "SHELLEY DUNCAN"

357.) The "THATS NASTY" section of baseball tonight is now always just a clip of a Shelley Duncan high five

358.) Shelley Duncan is the only one who can tame the "Bleacher Creature"

359.) Shelley Duncan has a better Math Average than Dice-K

360.) Shelley Duncan does not need to walk into the bathroom to use the urinal

361.) Shelley Duncan beat every single game on Addicting Games.com

362.) Shelley Duncan's GPA is 47.5

363.) Shelley Duncan can play more instruments than the artist formally known as Prince

364.) Shelley Duncan is a member of every single gang known to man

365.) The Bloods and the Crypts are fighting over Shelley Duncan

366.) Shelley Duncan can play every single instrument...............at the same time

367.) Shelley Duncan has his own section on Airplanes where the flight attendants are not annoying

368.) Touching Shelley Duncan automatically makes you beautiful

369.) Shelley Duncan can fix the Giants defense

370.) When Shelley Duncan plays quidditch he is a beater but he does not use a bat......he high fives the bludgers and that is when people die
 
371.) Shelley Duncan never lost his virginity he tamed it and put it on a leach...now it does tricks

372.) If Shelley Duncan followed in Kareem Garcia's footsteps that bullpen guy would be dead

373.) When Shelley Duncan was in school he got he his own four lockers

374.) When Shelley Duncan points at something and shouts "bang" it flies backward

375.) Jose Offerman went crazy after the pitcher told him he was not Shelley Duncan

376.) Shelley Duncan makes Michael Schmitt's swing look like Michael Kay's (ouch thats embarrassing)

377.) Jason Giambi admitted to being on Shelley Duncan

378.) Giambi rips his pants every game on purpose to try to impress Shelley Duncan

379.) Shelley Duncan won the GOLD slugger award

380.) Shelley Duncan has read every book ever......in one day

381.) Shelley Duncan looks at a rubix cube and it solves it self

382.) Shelley Duncan is the guard at the gates of heaven. He high fives the sinners (Red Sox Fans) back down to hell (Boston)

383.) The original American flag was just a picture of Shelley Duncan but we did not want to show off to the other nations so we created a flag with a bunch of Shelley Duncan symbolism in it. There are 50 stars for how many home runs Shelley Duncan will hit each year. We also put 13 stripes for the number of MVP awards he will win. (pretty cool eh)

384.) Shelley Duncan is the real captain of the Yankees and has been since birth. He just lets DJ be captain because they homies

385.) DJ gets all the women because he tells them all he knows Shelley Duncan

386.) A-Rod gets all the men because he tells them all he knows Shelley Duncan

387.) The desperate house wives are so desperate because none of them can get with Shelley Duncan

388.) Ashton Kutcher had plans to trick Shelley Duncan into getting “Punk’d” on New Years Eve. We fear he has been high fived . If you have seen or heard from Ashton, please call (718)555-6875, any information you have on Mr.Kutcher’s whereabouts is greatly appreciated.

389.) Shelley Duncan plays boccie ball with the skulls of his enemies (Boston)

390.) Shelley Duncan's mother called him David...once...........

391.) Curiosity did not kill the Cat Shelley Duncan high fived it

392.) Shelley Duncan races in Nascar with out using a car.......he has cause 8,468 crashes and 419 deaths

393.) In 15 minutes Shelley Duncan can save 19% or more on his car insurance

394.) When Batman punches a bad guy it says stuff like "Pow" or "Wham". When Shelley Duncan high fives a bad guy it says stuff like "Decapitated" or "Disembodied" or usually "Dead"

395.) Shelley Duncan once tried to high five the sexist man alive but then he realized suicide is a crime.

396.) When Shelley Duncan gives you a pat on the back you are gonna need surgery

397.) No Pop Up Ads would ever pop up on Shelley Duncan's computer. They know how it is.

398.) Dave Chapple left the country and went to Africa not to smoke pot but because he pissed off Shelley Duncan so he fled.

399.) Shelley Duncan can beat anyone in a sword fight. They have a sword and Shelley Duncan is armed with a Q-Tip

400.) Shelley Duncan was originally a Super Smash Bros Mele character but he won every game so they had to take him out

401.) Shelley Duncan can beat Tetris.....in 10 minutes

402.) Shelley Duncan can hit a 5 run home run......with no bat........or ball

403.) Have you ever seen Shelley Duncan ejected from a game. Thats because the umpires are happy with living

404.) Shelley Duncan hit 27 home runs in the womb

405.) Shelley Duncan can hit an inside the park bunt with Giambi on his back

406.) Have you ever seen the blue parking spaces with the wheelchair logo. Well those are Shelley Duncan's parking spaces and the sign warns you if you take them then he will handicap you

407.) Shelley Duncan once "Stomped the Yard"...........there were no survivors

408.) Shelley Duncan is not a Guitar Hero.....he is an everything hero

409.) Shelley Duncan can play pick-up-sticks with his butt checks

410.) Shelley Duncan wears the number 17 because that is how many home runs he is going to hit in a week

411.) Shelley Duncan is negative 47% body fat

412.) Shelley Duncan once hit two home runs in one swing. John Sterling called it "Back to back and Shelley to Shelley"

413.) Shelley Duncan got into every college ever......without applying to any of them

414.) Shelley Duncan benched Hope Solo

415.) Even Shelley Duncan could not fix the Mets

416.) O.J. was trying to steal Shelley Duncan autographs

417.) Shelley Duncan knows every word to "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

418.) Shelly Duncan made Don Mattingly shave his mustache.

419.) Sonic the Hedgehog , The Flash, and Superman once challenged Shelley Duncan to a race. When Sonic, Flash and Superman tried to cheat, realizing Shelley was much more skilled and faster than them, Shelley hit them all with his bat, killing them instantly. Nobody -including Johnny Damon,  Jose Reyes, Ichiro, or Shane Victorino - has since dared to challenge Shelley Duncan to a race

420.) Suzyn Waldman is such a crappy announcer even Shelley Duncan can not fix her

421.) Shelley Duncan doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

422.) As a toddler Shelley Duncan impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

423.) Who would win in a fight, Shelley Duncan or God? That’s a trick question, Shelley Duncan is God

424.) We don't know if Bill Clinton had sexual relations with that woman but we do know Shelley Duncan defiantly did

425.) Rather than ask permission or beg forgiveness, it’s better if you just don’t piss Shelley Duncan off

426.) President Bush had a plan for the exit strategy in Iraq. Unfortunately Shelley Duncan was busy

427.) In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Shelley Duncan could use to kill you, including the room itself.

428.) There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Shelley Duncan…. Just kidding, Shelley Duncan is first.

429.) Shelley Duncan was the first choice for the role of Danny Tanner on Full House. Everything was going well until this incident with the Olsen triplets (that was a pop culture Shelley Duncan fact...we are broadening our horizons

430.) Shelley Duncan never forgets the lyrics....ever

431.) Shelley Duncan's college major was PAIN

432.) Sticks and Stones may break your bones but a Shelley Duncan high five would kill you

433.) Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Shelley Duncan high fived Jack instantly killing him and then did Jill (that is how the real story goes)

434.) The main character of the new TV show "Bionic Woman" is on of Shelley Duncan's daughters

435.) A-Rod wont opt out of his contact because he can not stand to be away from Shelley Duncan

436.) Shelley Duncan could beat up Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Kyle Farnsworth, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Prince with one hand tied behind his back

437.) Shelley Duncan could break down the whole Great Wall of China in one high five

438.) Shelley Duncan invented wood

439.) Shelley Duncan's forearms are bigger than most third world countries

440.) Scott Boras thinks that the more money he makes the more Shelley Duncan will like him

441.) Shelley Duncan is the original 81 not T.O. or Randy Moss

442.) Shelley Duncan is the ultimate form of beauty...if you look at him too long then your eyes will burn from the perfection

443.) Shelley Duncan built the pyramids in one day without even breaking a sweat

444.) Shelley Duncan commanded A-Rod to come back to the Yankees and of course he came back

445.) Shelley Duncan was the first American Gangster

446.) Shelley Duncan plays guitar hero with one hand on expert

447.) The ESPYs "best male athlete" award will be replaced by the "best player not named Shelley Duncan." And Shelley Duncan will still win it.

448.) Dumbledore turned gay for Shelley Duncan (ITS TRUE http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1674069,00.html?imw=Y)

449.) The expression "life is a bitch" is true, just remember, its Shelley Duncan's bitch

450.) Shelley Duncan can make Joe Buck sound interesting 

451.) Shelley Duncan told the Yankees to build a new stadium with a 1000 ft. fence to give him somewhat of a challange (Just kidding even this would give him no challange)

452.) Shelley Duncan is debating on whether or not he should reveal the cure for AIDS to the public.