I see the world as it should be
Full of life and wonder and colour
And yet I do not see it.
I cannot seeing the shining sun
Or the dreamy moon
They are lost to me in this darkness.
The cool breeze reminds me
Only of the cold place
Settled deep within my heart.
And so I sleep
Frozen in the life-draining snow
Of some distant ice dream
Waiting for You
To quicken the spark in these cold ashes.
If I think about it too much
I swear I would go mad from anger and grief.
I'd give my life to change these ancient sins,
Yet nothing can change the stroke of Fate's hand.
How arrogant to believe
That I could bring comfort to the Gods
But if I could...
I would.
Just to see the relief and joy
Reflected in Her eyes.
Just to see Your smile - Your full unbroken smile
Devoid of any mask to hide the pain.
This was inspired by the tragedy of Narvi and Vali, the two sons of Loki and Sigyn.
Looking back...
So many things left undone.
So many words left unspoken.
So many friendships lost along the way...
So many words I wish I could take back.
So many times I wish I would have said more.
You slipped away so silently
The dust never even stirred on my sleeping form.
Eyes wide open yet I could not see.
You melted into tomorrow's dreams...
I never knew
I never knew that you cared.
I never knew that you were standing there.
Sleeping beauty awakes to emptiness
And wonders what is missing.
You've been stolen away into that bright land.
I'll never know what I was missing.
I wish I had known
I wish I had known that you cared.
I wish I had known that you were standing there.
Shepard Padraig Liam Murphy
April 1973 - February 2001
Sleep well.
Gloom swallows the heart
Extinguishing the life-giving flame
Filling the veins with ice water
Stiffening the muscles
Stuttering the heart
One last beat
Before all is emcompassed by ice.
How I mourn for the light
As does the sun for the loss of a flower
In the depth of winter's hold.
So bring on the light!
Bring on the flame!
Melt the deadly ice in the vein!
Free this heart from it's diamond cage!
Let Your heat flow into these dead places...
Oh my Love, bring me to life!
The bones have been cast
The fate has been weaved
In their ancient voice, the bones will speak
The answer in the tapestry you must seek
Cut the cord to the length you need
The future will come at it's frightful speed
Hasten now to the words of the seer
Fate will bring pain sharp as the spear
Challenge now the path that will come
Few will be the victors
Sorrow the victory won
Fuck you
Fuck the nightmares you've given me
Go back to the dark closet that you crawled out of
Fuck you
Go back to the cesspool you devolved from
I will never be yours
For I was never yours to begin with
You want to make me hurt
You love to hear my screams
How can someone love
When they never cared in the first place
Fuck you both
Get the fuck out of my head
Go back to to your own hate-filled lives
And leave me to pick up the broken pieces
Don't call
Don't write
You mean nothing to me anymore
After the debris has fallen
I will pick up these pieces
And I will make them fit
Though there are more
And there are less
They will fit
And I will move on
*Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
The days parade on and on
A dose of ordinary
Precisely calculated
Only to poison,
Not to kill.
It was over. Her mouth went dry even as her clumsy brain struggled for a single coherent thought. She wanted to deny all of it but the sinking in her stomach wouldn't allow it. She looked down through a blur of traitorous tears to see her hands clutching and releasing the blue silk blouse.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, "but I love her."
"Why?" she muttered. Her voice grew louder. "WHY?" She stared at him defiantly even as the first tears began to fall down her white cheeks. "What does she have that I do not?!"
He winced at her shriek.
"Me."
Her eyes grew cold and bleak as she backed away from him and ran out the door.