Insomniac Creations

Introduction

Ok so stupid things happen when you can't sleep.  Some people just lay there tossing and turning like idiots, trying their HARDEST to fall asleep.  Others watch TV or play video games or read a book.  But you know what?  NONE of those things work!!!!  Trust me, I've tried all of them.  Watching TV just keeps your attention so you stay awake, playing video games gives you a headache, and either the book is a good one and you can't put it down or it's boring and then you have to find something else to do.  So I gave up on all that.  When I can't sleep I get on the computer.  Granted it gives you a headache just as fast as the video games but at least you can get SOMETHING done.  Check your email, catch up on online bills, keep up with message boards, or like me create a new website that you'll forget all about in about a week... or maybe it will even live for a month this time.

My Theory on Insomnia

Ever wonder why you can't sleep one night?  You know, normally you have no problems sleeping the night away.  You come home from work or school or whatever your pathetic little day was filled with and you fall into bed and are dead to the world until about 10am the next morning.  Usually.  But then there are those nights when no matter what you do you just CANNOT fall asleep and you can't figure out for the life of your little, adorable, irritating-as-hell puppy why.  Well, here's your answer.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, when the world, the universe and everything was created there were also created beings called Gawds.  There were hundreds of these little things and they each had their own little "gifts".  Back when people were first created and times were simpler and days were filled with frolicking through bright, colorfully scented fields and people were dumber (though not by much) these Gawds ruled Earth.  But now-a-days we have so much going on in our busy, stressful lives that we don't have time for their pesky little rules and only recognize them by the nuisances they cause.  A few examples that you'll know are: Argyle (this little bugger steals one sock from each pair in your dryer [especially the colored ones] and then uses them for things like flags and Christmas presents to people he doesn't like), Keyth (he likes shiny things and cold places, especially when put together so he steals your keys and hides them in the refrigerator), and Puppoo (she's the one that makes your dog go outside, not poop or pee, come back in and poop AND pee all over the floor).

Obviously with hundreds of these Gawds running around I can't name them all here, but if you think on it I'm sure you'll come up with plenty of others that have been giving you trouble over the years.  Besides if I did happen to name them all here I would never get around to telling you about Nozeeez.  Nozeeez is a little Gawdess and a very nasty one at that.  (It should really be no suprise to you that Nozeeez is a girl because everyone knows that girls are the evilest sex of all and can make even the most simple, most natural of things insanely difficult.)  Anyway, Nozeeez hates it when people sleep because when they're asleep they can't feel the affects of all of her brother's and sister's mischief.  Also she can't sleep herself so watching everybody else slumbering away peacefully really pisses her off. 

If Nozeeez had her way she would make it so no one in the world would ever be allowed to sleep just so she could make us all as cranky and crabby as she is... but fortunately for us her power is very limited.  Nozeeez can only affect a few people at a time, and they have to be relatively close to each other, being across town at the furthest apart.  (A small town at that.)  So Nozeeez goes from town to town, street to street, and house to house making random people here and there stay up all night for no apparent reason. 

***Note: this particular action only applies to those of us lucky enough to only have insomnia once in a while.  Those poor, poor people who have to deal with insomnia every night (oh the HORROR!!) have been unlucky enough to have become the "pet" of one of Nozeeez's many children.  All of these are just as evil as their mother but with much more long-term personalities.  You see their father is none other than M. D. Permanantula, the great Gawd that afflicts poor unsuspecting souls with mental disorders.  Now when you read "mental disorders" don't be fooled into thinking it only means autism, downs, schizophrenia and the like.  Oh, no.  His powers are much more diverse than that and each power was passed down to a child of his.  Ocideus for example inflicts people with all kinds of obsessive compulsive disorders, and his sister Noslee'p Permanantula causes permanent insomnia.***