Sappy Valley

I am tired of being expected to live out my life for other people. I don't need to please my father or mother. I love my mom lots, but I still have alot of anger towards dad for treating me the way he has, but I don't feel this part of my life is to "please" them. I don't get good grades for them, or attend class or any of that shit. I am doing this for myself. To get out of here and be a good person hopefully. I owe them alot but I shouldn't pay them right now. Greg can be an asshole alot. Maybe that is what makes me a bit of an anti-social, this I don't need to do anything for you attitude. But hell, I have been told to be so many people, to act this way, to be this or that. For other people. This life I have been granted wasn't meant to be wasted on making my self some emotional servant.

My drive home is a little different now. Since we moved to the house, I drive more than 30 miles between downtown Charlotte and our humble abode. There are lots of backroads and different ways to go to get me there, but most of them take me through the country and past farmland. I get to see lots of animals, including baby cows.

There is one particular field that always has donkeys in it when I drive by. As I drove by it today, the open field was minus it’s usual animals, except for one. There was one donkey right by the barbed wire fence at the side of the road. He wasn’t doing anything, just standing there… but with his backside to the road. He was mooning all the passing cars.

So I get up this morning, feeling a tad bit grumpy, but energetic. Then I go in to Jam's room to upload a fw songs up onto my ipod, then she comes in at 6:46 (Which I could have avoided if I was still leaving the house at 6:45) and basically bitches about my SAT's and Piccolo "payments"

the sat's because she got me all this study material which I haven't used. Which is fair, I haven't. But I gave my parents PLENTY a warning that I will NOT do any study material for the SAT. I am not one to sit down with a book. I don't care what dad says, I cannot study. I can force myself to do homework, I can do classwork, I can do reading. But I cannot study. Studying is useless pointless and stupid for me. I know what I know and I know nothing else.(I am not advising you guys take this stance, its different for other people). And I hate having to water this down with my parents. I either finish tests quickly and do pretty well, or I don't know dipshit and fail. I cannot go back three or four times and do any better. I go back once find where I did something stupid and dyslexic and thats IT.