I’m here again. Oh god, why do I come here? What is it about this place that just calms me? Well...there doesn’t seem to be anywhere else I can go...is there? Jess’s away....I don’t have much other friends. I guess I’m okay with that.
I sat down at the bridge’s edge, staring into the shimmering reflection on the water’s surface.
Go away.
I picked up a rock and chucked it into the water, corrupting the image that once lay still.
I’m so tired of this.
My hands fumbled around and grasped a stick, which I examined slowly.
I hate my life.
The bark was peeling, ants were crawling along the sides.
Stupid.
I dropped the stick, and watched as it slowly advanced to the dark depths under the bridge.
I wonder where it will go.
I laid back, putting my arms behind my head for comfort.
I want to go too. I want to leave.
"What, is there something on my face that bothers you?" he said, smiling.
"No, not particularly. You’re just annoying."
Why am I saying this? I don’t mean to be rude...the words just come out.
"Oh really?" He said. "You just look like you need some cheering up."
"I don’t." I replied coldly.
"Come on. A cup of coffee. It’s a chilly autumn day!" he said, poking my shoulder.
No matter how cute he is, he has no right to be so impolite...!!
"I’m 16! You look like you’re 22! I can’t be seen with you. Besides, I don’t like coffee." I turned my head farther to the left.
"22? Ha! Really? No one’s ever said that before!"
"What? You aren’t?" I said, sounding a little too surprised.
"I’m only 17! Man...when I’m 60 I’m gunna look 70, aren’t I?" He laughed, brushing his bangs again.
"Uhh.....sorry. I didn’t know. It’s just....you’re so tall. I mean, you look older!" I said, somehow kinder than when I first spoke. "I bet you could pass for a 19-year old and get us some booze!"
He began laughing at that, and only seemed to make the scenery a little more natural.
"Maybe." he said finally, halting the laughter.
"Why don’t you then? Let’s get drunk!" I laughed, though I hadn’t been drunk before. And...he knew I was joking...right?
"You like beer more than coffee? What a strange girl!" he smiled, beginning to stand up. "Come along, if you like. If you don’t like coffee, you can get something else."
"Are you sure it’s on you?" I stood up, brushing my jean shorts clean of dirt.
"It’s all good." He laughed.
Once there, we got a little table for two and sat by the window.
"It really is nice out, isn’t it?" I said, blowing the heat off of my hot chocolate.
"Yup. Fall’s my fav." he said, ‘my’ coming out more like ‘mah’.
"Mine too!" I said, a little too enthusiastically.
"How come?" He said, arching his head.
"I dunno..." I said, turning to the window. "It’s..perfect. I mean, it’s not boiling, it’s not freezing– it’s right in the middle."
He smiled and sipped his coffee.
"Spring’s too wet. Rains too much, you know?" I said, laughing for the second time since we met. "And there’s no creepy-crawlies!"
"I know what you mean." he said, laughing again, putting down his coffee. "What do you hate the most? I hate those little millipedes and centipedes."
"Really? You’re afraid? Guys aren’t supposed to be afraid of things!" I laughed. "Me...? Well...there’s a lot I hate. Bees, mosquitos....millipedes and centipedes are awful! They have so many freaky little legs....creeps me out!"
He laughed and patted my head.
"What am I, a little sister?" I said, a little annoyed.
"Yup!" He said, patting it harder.
"Hands off, weirdo." I laughed, brushing his hand off.
"So, so! What were you depressed about?" he said, letting his head rest in the arch of his fingers.
Crap...why’d he have to remind me? I was having fun!
"Thanks a lot. Now I remember."
"Ooooh, sorry, poor baby–" he stopped. "What’s your name?"
"Oh...yeah. It’s Michelle."
"Sorry, Michelle...I forgot to ask since I was having so much fun."
"Were you?" I said.
Oh god...did I just blush?? Man....I hope he didn’t notice. It was an accident...
"You’re so interesting to talk to!" he laughed. "Weather to bugs...conversations are so funny when you think about it, aren’t they?"
"Hey–you know my name, but I don’t know yours. Spill the beans."
"Micheal." he said, suddenly somewhat amused. "Hey! M&M! Haha, it works out pretty well, doesn’t it?"
"I guess so..." I said, suddenly turning shy.
What’s wrong with me?? I shouldn’t feel this way...he’s a complete stranger...
"What’s wrong?" he said concerningly.
"Nothing!" I said quickly.
He laughed. "You’re so cute when you blush."
I didn’t do anything for a moment...just stared at his smiling face...when did I last feel like this? When...I was with him...
"Pshh." I laughed "So is this how you guys pick up girls?"
"Nope." he said smoothly. "You’re my first one."
"What?" I said, shocked. "But you’re so handsome!"
Oops.
"Ha...you think so?" he said, turning his head to the window.
This is going to get awkward now, isn’t it? Maybe this is a good chance to leave...
"Well!" I said, standing up. "Thanks for the hot chocolate, it was very good. I should come here more often."
"Why not come here tomorrow?" he said, becoming a little more serious.
"T-tomorrow?" I said, taken aback.
"Yeah. I want to get to know you better." he said, chucking his empty coffee cup in the wastebasket beside the table.
"U-ummm....."
Why can’t I say anything?
"It’s okay. We’re more than just strangers, aren’t we? We know eachother’s names."
"I...That’s not it. It’s more than just names. I don’t know you."
"That’s why I want to meet again." he smiled. "To get to know you. What do you say?"
It’s time to give up the past, isn’t it?
"Okay." I said strongly, and smiled. "What time? 3?"
"Sure." he said, slowly advancing. "Thanks for giving me a chance."
It was so light–why did it feel so strong? It was only a kiss...but...the world seemed only kinder by it...
How? It’s only...lips. They shouldn’t mean anything....just...lips.
I remember what Nanny said. I remember now...why is it so clear?
"It’s not just a guesture of love." I remember her saying sweetly. "It’s something more. Passion, trust, and...a little bit of the human soul. Right there, on that little kiss."
Did I believe it? Was I that arrogant? Why....does it...feel so right? With him...was it different? It feels now like a far memory...when he dumped me? Though it was only an hour ago...
What did I say? ‘Why does love hurt so much? I hate it...I’ll never fall in love again...’ I can’t even keep my own word. But somehow...it’s alright. I’m okay with it. It doesn’t hurt anymore.
I’ve found it again. Something I thought if you lost would be irreplacable. And once again, I was wrong...
"Huuuhhhh..." I groaned, awaking from a short slumber.
What was that? What did I just dream about...? It....it seems it was nice, cozy even...
"Damn. I can never remember the good ones." I sighed, leaning back.
Oh yeah, I remember why I'm here...what happened a while ago... Damn.
I closed my eyes and sighed.
Why does love hurt so much? I hate it...I’ll never fall in love again...
"It is nice here. I could fall asleep again..." I whispered.
Doesn’t sound too bad...Maybe just a little while...my eyes are so sore from crying...
"Hey, you!"
"Huh?" I sat up suddenly.
"You shouldn’t sleep there. There are some weird people around here." Someone said.
I looked over to see a man sitting by my side.
"Oh, so what makes you not qualify?" I said sharply. I felt bad about it, but...I was in a bad mood.
"Nothing. I’m weird. I admit." He laughed, brushing the bangs from his brow.
Wow...he’s pretty good-looking.
His hair was a light brown, his face was hard but somewhat soft....and his smile was so warm. His eyes, too...seemed so lively. Seemed to dance in it’s own reflection of the sun. Maybe he hadn’t been hurt yet.
I turned my head slowly to the right. Why was I drawn to his face...?