They be trollin': Moo Invasions of CF Sites

Just about all websites get their fair share of trolls. For the lay people, a “troll” is someone who invades any site involving discussion and says things to deliberately start shit or who tells enormously outlandish lies to try and rile everyone up. Everyone gets them – they’re like viruses that you need to try and ignore until they go away on their own (because you can't find them in real life to splatter their brains across the sidewalk). And childfree boards get trolls quite a lot.

As you can most likely guess, the majority of CF website trolls are Moos. These dumb bitches are so offended that we dare not follow the Life Script the way they have that they decide to march right onto the offending site and give those horrible CFers all a piece of their minds (which they do not have to beign with). Because, as we all know, one stranger on the internet telling an entire web community to change their lives is obviously only going to be met with triumph. Pardon me while I get some aspirin - I’ve strained my eyes from rolling them so much.

This kind of thing does arouse attention, but mostly it’s the childfree site goers telling the breeder to fuck off and learn to read (since some CF sites specifically state parents are not allowed to post). Well of course the average Moo and her precious opinions are far too special for some silly rules, so those don’t apply to her.

Usually a Moo will find her way to a CF site by Googling something else she wants to know more about that happens to be a topic of conversation on a childfree website. From there, the trolling commences – Moos might look up gentle discipline and end up at a CF board where people are talking about how stupid and useless it is.

Other times, they intentionally search for childfree sites and bitch at everyone on the first few pages they find. Usually they favor websites where they are not required to register because doing so would require too much effort.  However, some Moos don’t mind making an entire account just to shoot their fat mouths off at people they can’t even begin to understand.

The most alarming kind of troll, though, is not the standard Moo-tard with no life that just says, “omg ur all meen! wat if yer parunts thot the way yew did an didnt hav kids ur all prolly ugly virgin lesbians who cant get layed an r jellus of ppl w/ kids. grow up.” Bear in mind this is not an accurate representation of Moo-speak – it’s far too grammatically correct, but I did the best I could.

Anyway, the trolls that are the most disturbing are the ones who will completely fabricate an entire phony personality/life in order to try and fit into a CF community.

These “smart trolls” are scarier than your average pea-brained Moo who just spews her ignorant verbal diarrhea all over a CF site to piss everyone off. The fuck-head breeders I speak of want so badly to be in that childfree community that they are willing to concoct a compelling tall tale to feed everyone to see how long they can keep their charade going and “fit in.” Why they do this is beyond me…maybe it’s a need to tell a big fat lie and get away with it. Or maybe it’s Moos who regret their choice to spawn so much that they want to try and lead secret CF lives online and see what it is we talk about.

Why the hell are CF sites seen as cool clubs that need to be infiltrated? It’s like when little girls have little parties and say “no boys allowed” and then the boys do their best to crash the party. CFers are the girls and breeders are the boys – they want to sneak in so badly as if we’re conducting some kind of incredible, covert ritual. There’s no mystery – we’re just a special interest community, ya fucking morons! There’s a million mommy boards you can visit to get your leg humped and your asshole licked by a million other Moos, so WHY go to the few sites where breeders are not welcome? You gotta be a special fucking kind of dumb to do this.

But usually the breeder masquerading as a CFer can’t keep her lies straight; others pick up on the flaws in the story and start to become wary of the bitch. Or someone might recognize the breeder’s IP address or email or something and out them when they are discovered to be a breeder braggart on another site. Case in point…some time ago on the CF site I frequent, a newbie showed up with a story about their teen niece or something being pregnant and waffling between wanting to adopt it out or abort. The member claimed to be a CF social worker. They seemed of at least average intelligence and had a grasp of the English language. And the farce went on for some time, until the mods began doing a little research on this increasingly suspicious newb.

Well, as it turns out, the newb was nothing but a two-faced bitch. She was not a social worker, she did not have a teen niece and she was not CF. In fact, she was found to have three children, was a member of some kind of diaper-sniffing forum, and had been making fake personas all over the web. And since the mods on this CF site are awesome, they posted the woman’s full name and email address for the world to see what a lying cunt she is.

The whore I just described is the kind of troll that is creepy – you really truly need to have something remarkably mentally wrong with you to go to such lengths to lie to so many people in order to fit in. If you’re an FBI agent needing to carry out a mission, that’s one thing. But these Moos try to sneak under our radar, and for what? So they can do nothing but bullshit us all? What possible pleasure can be derived from that? And then they tell US how crazy and mean we are. Projection, much?

Just more proof that Moos are fucking nuts (and painfully jealous of us).