After a rather long-winded argument on an internet forum, I am shocked to have found out how many illnesses are caused or exacerbated by pregnancy. From the rather mild unpleasantness of an uncontrolled bladder or swollen ankles to sciatica, or more threatening conditions like preeclampsia to hyperemesis gravidarum (excessive nausea and vomiting, which can be deadly). So, my question is this: If pregnancy carries so many risks – many of them being potentially fatal – why the fuck would any woman who is sane want to get pregnant? Honestly, the thought of something growing in my body and vomiting every day is more than enough to deter me forever, but why do women put themselves through such torture? They can’t possibly enjoy all those miserable symptoms unless they were masochists.

 

Something else I don’t understand is women who have difficult pregnancies who later go on to have more kids. I have read accounts of women suffering from hyperemesis or diabetes with their first pregnancies and who went on to have even more children. This means more doctor visits, which I’m sure said doctors aren’t complaining about – but what about the fucking welfare leeches whose medical care is paid for by everyone else, including those of us who know better than to further pollute the planet? Risking your life for someone as worthless and ungrateful as a baby is not only stupid – it’s bloody insane. Is a kid worth puking yourself to death? When Junior ends up in the slammer on drug charges, will it have been worth it to have had something crazy like ecclampsia or gestational diabetes?

 

I quit caring what people thought of me long ago, so I’ll conclude this piece by saying this. In the face of so many sicknesses brought on by pregnancy, any woman who is pregnant or considering becoming pregnant should be required to have an MRI, go through therapy, and be fitted for a straight jacket.