A question I brought up in another rant was “Why do women have more than one child?” I’ve peeked on numerous parenting forums, including the haven of spineless mothers known as Mothering.com, and the experiences these people describe that they go through with their children makes my stomach churn. There are kids who scream all night, who piss themselves when they don’t get their way, have earth-shattering meltdowns at the drop of a hat, or far more serious shit like hurting animals.

 

I have read countless stories of kids who slap their parents in the face and then laugh – why the fuck is this even allowed? If a kid did something like that to his or her parents about ten or fifteen years ago, that kid would have gotten slapped so hard across their fat, snot-encrusted little mug that the hand print would still be there a week later.

 

So, in the face of such horrible behavior, why would any sane person want to have a second child (or any children, for that matter)? I realize such awful behavior is only the fault of the pathetic parents and their ‘gentle (or lack of) discipline’, but isn’t one rotten, screaming little wankstain enough of a torture device? Anyone ever notice how, when people decide to have another little maggot, their first child is a toddler?

 

This is what I have theorized about these idiotic women. By the time a child gets to the age of two, they start to develop a personality and a little bit of independence. They can get up, walk, run, grab shit, and can willingly do other things. When these kids are just babies, they depend on Mommy for everything, from stuffing pureed fruit down their throats to changing their shit diapers. These women feel so useless and unaccomplished that they need to have a baby to feel like someone loves and needs them; it’s incredible how many women will subject themselves to sleepless nights and being pissed or vomited on on a daily basis just to feel like they are needed. Of course, these babies don’t stay babies forever – they grow into toddlers. Suddenly, that helpless little baby knows how to tell Mommy they hate her, they know how to be manipulative brats, and they show they don’t need Mommy quite as much as they did when they still looked like fat, fleshy little maggots.

 

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This kind of thing frightens mothers – while their child relies on them a lot still, they don’t do so as much as when they were babies. When a woman has kids, she surrenders her life to that kid – there is very little in her life that she has control over, especially with the whole trend of not disciplining kids or giving them whatever the hell they want just to shut them up. When that first baby becomes a toddler, women are never ready to give up what little control they have, so they decide they need to have another baby.

 

They all say they miss caring for a baby, and they’re right – despite babies being a pain in the ass, they can be controlled a little better than toddlers (like a baby won’t get out of his bed and try to crawl into Mom and Dad’s bed the way a toddler will). Then, when the second baby becomes a toddler, Mommy has less control over both of them, and that’s when she starts contemplating having a third baby. It’s so sad knowing so many kids probably get born to feed their mother’s desire for control.

 

Mothers won’t admit to this – heaven forbid they speak negatively about doing the most important job in the world. They just put on happy faces and pretend to live perfect lives when, in reality, a decent percentage of them probably dream of offing their kids.