This is rather amusing - I went onto Dictionary.com and typed the word "child" into the thesaurus search. Some of the results I got were "innocent", "lamb", "little angel", "little darling", and "cherub". I came to three conclusions about whoever came up with these terms that are synonymous with child: the person is either brain-dead, mental, or on drugs.

Who in their fucking right mind would agree that a child is innocent? Yes, children are so innocent when they color all over the walls with crayon and then say to your face that they didn't do it. Children are so innocent when they break something that isn't theirs, yet scream bloody murder when anyone lays a finger on anything of theirs. They're such innocent little angels when they torture animals or spit on people. Yeah, that's so sweet and cute.

If I went to a friend's house and broke something, then screamed if they were mad at me, would I be innocent? Hell no! But you know, since children have the thinking capacity of a bag of hammers, that automatically makes them innocent. So, stupidity/ignorance is the equivalent of innocence. A child could swing a cat around by its tail, and that little shit would still be innocent, even if the cat ended up with a dislocated spine.

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Let's check out some of those other alleged synonyms. How many people agree that children are little angels? We all know that the screaming, spoiled snotpicking maggots who run rampant in restaurants are little angels, right?

Of course they are, because when we think of angels, the first thing we think of is a whining 4-year-old. Let me tell you how beautiful of a sight it is to see a child crying and rolling all over the floor at McDonald's because the plastic trinket they saw on TV that they wanted so badly is not available that week.

It's so appealing to me to have children running circles around me and diving in between racks of clothing and racing back and forth pretending to be superheroes when I'm trying to shop. You see these kids and wonder where the parents are...oh, but you forgot. Moomie is probably off on the other side of the store doing her shopping, oblivious to her kids until anyone else dares tell them to behave.

We all know how stores make the perfect playgrounds for kids. The retarded Moo-cows probably figure they'll two birds with one stone by taking their kids to a shopping center: she can shop and let their kids play among the shelves and racks to amuse themselves. That way, the little shit crickets won't get in her way or impede her shopping.

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I hate so much when these dolts drag their hellspawn into a shopping center and ignore them, figuring that The Village will do some charity babysitting. If the child is not left standing in the middle of the floor crying out "Mommy", then the child has gone off exploring the rest of the store and annoying the piss out of the other shoppers.

Then when the so-called parent has done her shopping, she realizes that people saw her come in with a child, so she better not walk out without her wunnerful miracle.

She'll go look around the store, pretending to be concerned for the child whom she has ignored for the whole day. Then when she finds her brat nestled under a coat rack and says they are leaving, the child will cry, saying she wants to stay - probably to continue playing on the jungle gym cleverly disguised as a clearance rack.

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It is at this point a scene is made and Mistress Breeder reprimands her child for whining and begins to rant about how she spent the past 3 hours scouring the store for them and how they need to leave...you know, make it seem like she cared, so no one raises any eyebrows. Then everyone watches as the child is dragged out of the store, kicking and screaming.

People may think "what an awful child" - this is true, but can you blame the child for its parents not teaching it how to behave? Children are not born knowing how to act, and it's up to the lazy-ass breeders to attempt to teach them...but heaven forbid they actually TRY to be parents. That's not in the job description of a breeder.

No, they prefer to use their children as an excuse to be lazy and bitchy. Back to those terms...well, all I can say is this: Anyone who believes a child is angelic, innocent, or a darling really needs to get their head examined as soon as possible.