What in the fuck is the reasoning behind people giving their brats crazy, stupid names? There are much better ways of getting attention than naming your kid something that sounds like a French venereal disease.

Names that are different can be good - it shows that you don't want your child to just be a run-of-the-mill kid. But when you give your brat such a freaky name that it's a promise to have them get their ass kicked on the playground, you really need to rethink your priorities. Yes, name your shriekling something no one can even pronounce...does Bwedizle sound nice?

Yeah, I'll bet it does. I would safely say that making up these bullshit names gives otherwise stupid parents a sense of creativity (if they were genuinely creative, they'd have thought of something better to do with their lives than to shit out kids). It's one thing to change the spelling of the name a little bit so it seems more unique, but when you need to add eight extra letters to a name to make it look cool, you are pretty much guaranteeing the ridicule of your kid in school.

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Instead of naming the little shit "Brandon", you need to name it "Bhraynndun". Now, how the fuck many people are going to know how to pronounce that mess? Throw some numbers in there too - if you're going to add unnecessary shit, you may as well do a good job of it. At least do the damn kid a favor and give them a semi-normal middle name, so if they don't kill themselves out of ridicule-induced depression, they can decide to use their first or middle name in their adult lives.

Your child will hate you for giving it some dumb-shit name...oh, but I forgot. It's not about the child, right? Hell, no. It's all about what you, the retard, wants. You don't care how stupid the name sounds...as long as you like it for two seconds, that's all that matters. Never mind that your child can't spell it and no one else can pronounce it...as long as your happy. Yep, because it's not about Junior and his future happiness - it's about the happiness you feel right this second over your faux-ingenuity.