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The Rant.

Goddammit. Seriously. I'm so aggravated by all this bullshit that's going on, I'm seriously considering ending it.

What the fuck is the deal with 2-piece vacuum cleaners? I fucking hate them. My mom always wants me to run this 4-ton piece of garbage like twice a month. It's like lugging around a fat, annoying aunt with a tentacle. Why do these fucking things exist? The stupid fucking neck always gets caught around corners, or it does a loop and bends, causing a loss in vacuum power. What a fucking burden.

Speaking of burdens, why do old people insist on driving? There's nothing worse than being stuck behind a Buick on a Sunday afternoon. Elderly drivers are just white haired obstacles, there to make you punch your steering wheel. I think eldery driving should be made illegal. As soon as you're 65, you're off the fucking road. That's how it should be. DWE (driving while elderly) should be punished capitally.

Also, why do they wear those fucking gigantic sunglasses? You're not fooling me, asshole. I can still see your wrinkles and blue hair. Fuck you.

Art rock fucking sucks. I'm so goddamn sick of this bullshit. Radiohead is NOT the best band in the world, despite what Rolling Stone says. They suck. They're not influential, they're not different, and they're not music. Their songs are funny noises with Thom York mumbling shit. Fuck that. As if that's not bad enough, bands try to clone this "sound". Coldplay, also known for their moaning vocalist, try to write bore-fests that make people think about god knows what. All I think about when I'm listening to this shit is suicide.

While I'm on the topic of music...GOD DAMMIT WHY WON'T EMO GO AWAY?! I'm so goddamn TIRED of listening to lyrics where guns and bullets are metaphors for relationships. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

  • My Chemical Romance - Wow, original name, assholes. Your standard clean channel guitar with moaning to distorted guitar with horrid screaming song structures really give me a boner. Maybe if you concentrated more on your lyrics than your appeal to both crying emo wusses and hardcore dancing assholes (more on these pricks later), you could become a listenable band.
  • A Static Lullaby - drain out my lungs, spoon out my heart...wow these lyrics sure are good.
  • Thursday - SHUT THE FUCK UP! FUCK! THE GUY WHO SCREAMS FOR YOU FUCKING SUCKS! AS A MATTER OF FACT. I WANT THE WORLD TO HEAR THIS.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT? WHY IS HE IN THE BAND? ALL I WANT TO DO IS REACH THROUGH MY FUCKING CD PLAYER AND STICK A SCREWDRIVER IN HIS GODDAMN FOREHEAD.

HARDCORE DANCERS!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I go to a show to hear a band play and watch their stage moves, not to have to look over my back every 2 seconds to make sure I'm not going to get spin kicked in the head. Hardcore dancers should be castrated, raped, burned, gutted, tarred, feathered, eaten, electrocuted, and decapitated. If my intention was to go to shows to fear for my life I'd go to a 50 Cent concert.

Twenty four year olds who date seventeen year olds are fucking horrible people.

Why do white people insist on trying to be black? I'm so sick of seeing Honda Civics with their two twelves in the back blasting Ludacris. And when I think the worst is over, they park next to me, and get out of their car on their cell phone, talking to someone else in their Honda Civic with his two twelves listening to Ashanti. The conversation spans about this far: "Yo, I'm tryin' to be gettin' over there soon. Word. True. Yo you--yo. Yo. Yo listen. Yo--" BLAM BLAM BLAM I WANNA FUCKING SHOOT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP I CAN'T FUCKING STAND LISTENING TO YOU ANYMORE LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE YOU'RE STEALING SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFESTYLE AND YOU DON'T DESERVE IT! REMOVE THE WING FROM YOUR CAR, STRIP THE BLEACH FROM YOUR HAIR, PUT YOUR HAT ON CORRECTLY,

REMOVE YOUR FAKE SILVER JEWELRY

BURN YOUR JOHNNY BLAZE CLOTHES

BREAK YOUR MISSY ELLIOT CDS

AND EITHER GET A LIFE OR A FUCKING RAZOR.

I need a fucking therapist.