Well everyone, it's official. This country is going down the shitter faster than you can say "The Dow Jones dropped another 4 points today?" Ever since Idiot Junior has stolen the 2000 election, it's been a real fast downhill plummet. We've been attacked, unlawfully bombed an innocent country, and fought Daddy's unfinished war in the past 3 years...quite an accomplishment in one term, wouldn't you say?
Honestly, if you still have faith in President Bush you're obviously a fucking moron. He's been jerking around the entire country for the past year about Iraq and their "weapons of mass destruction" which still have NOT been located, and he's already going after Iran about it. I swear every time the news is on in my general vicinitiy I consider dropping the TV in the shower with me. Every day it's something new about "President Bush has warned [insert innocent Arab country here] to disarm their nuclear weapons" or "The Bush Administration [insert some kind of harrassment to Arab country here]" or "John Ashcroft is a crazy son of a bitch who wants to get into your home." Apparently nothing good happens on Earth anymore, or at least anything good that news stations in the United States pick up on.
Here's a feasible conspiracy theory for you: The United States Government is paying the news stations to keep the American people in a fear craze to make us feel that Bush and his band of idiots are protecting us. I mean honestly, every day it is reported that either a new country has weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein is alive and killing more innocent Iraqis that Bush just wants "to be free from his reign of terror", our bogus Terror Alert warning changes based on...well, nothing, a Pakistani blows up a bus, or the Orioles lose another fucking baseball game. Who's going to protect us from all these horrible doings?! Why, President George W. Bush, of course! He wouldn't want you to trust anyone else to protect our country from those scary Arabians when the 2004 Elections are coming up!
News Flash! We're never going to see another September 11th, so you might as well get rid of the Terror Alert system. American Flight Patrons can't even get on a fucking plane so how is a Semitic, carpenter's-knife-carrying man going to? Here's what our Homeland Security chart SHOULD look like:
As if the asshole hasn't been fucking up enough already, what about this recent war in Iraq, inexplicably titled "Operation: Iraqi Freedom"? Last time I checked, storming a country, killing over 500 innocent civilians, destroying the capital, and giving them an entirely new system of government isn't called "Freedom"...it's called "Blitzkrieg". The Iraqi Deck of Cards is bullshit too. Half of those people were probably picked at random out of a phonebook. As long as the American people know their troops are catching "towel heads", everyone will be safe and sound. Fuck that.
Wait, don't stop there. Fuck patriots. Fuck anyone that has a big American flag in their rear windshield. Fuck anyone gullible enough to believe that Iraq was responsible at all for September 11th. A big Go Fuck Yourself to anyone hating France, Michael Moore, or the Dixie Chicks for having the RIGHT to think our President is a waste of fucking space. Fuck Dr. Phil. The world hates us now and we 100% deserve it. Get your eyes off the 50 Stars and 13 Stripes and take a look around you. We're fucked, check mate, end of story. We need this asshole out of office.
When the next election comes up vote for anyone, anyone except the Republican party. If you're sick of the fear, the economy, the world hating us, and the word "Nu-cu-ler" vote for ANYONE other than President Bush and his fucked up regime. I can't believe I have to rant about this shit.
okay now breathe...easy steps now...count to 10...