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Linkin Park aren't even original to themselves.

In a time when Limp Bizkit owned the rock/rap world, people began looking for a band you could take more seriously: a band where instead of a guitarist with black eyes there'd be a guitarist who never takes off his fucking headphones. As if rap metal wasn't unoriginal enough past 1996, Linkin Park takes it to a whole new level. Not only do they have same set up of 311, ignoring the fact that their worthless vocalist (Mike Shinoda as compared to S.A. Martinez) plays a guitar instead of being a DJ, but they borrow from everyone else, and most of all: from themselves.


the masterminds who brought you "Crawling" and...uh..."Crawling"...

Their first cd "Hybrid Theory" was considered a new innovation in America, where somehow rapping over loud distorted guitars is original. Needless to say, every song on that CD sounded the same. Continuing the pain, their new CD "Meteora" was released this past Tuesday, and let me tell you: I sure was impressed! cough. Every song on the cd was a clone of their 2000 hit "Crawling." Afterall, their songs only have 2 structures: the terrible structure, and the even worse structure.

The Terrible Structure

  1. Rock Intro with loud, distorted guitars and the occasional DJ scratch
  2. Chester moans a few pretentious sentences about the twisted pain inside him
  3. Mike comes in and monotonously raps a few unrelated lines about his own pain, which is in no way related to Chester
  4. Loud rock chorus with the same chord progression as the intro. Chester sings four words, dragging out the last one as long and annoying as possible
  5. Repeat 1 or 2 times


paaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnn

The Even Worse Structure

  1. Rock intro with loud, distorted guitars and, you guessed it, the occasional DJ scratch
  2. Mike raps about something unimportant, probably about the time he laid on his bathroom floor and thought about pain
  3. During the last four lines of Mike's rap, Chester moans a few undecipherable words
  4. Loud rock chorus, same as intro. Chester sings four words, dragging out the last one as long and annoying as possible, Mike will say something.
  5. Repeat as needed


max puts it to the test

Max's Listening to a Linkin Park CD Structure

  1. Fights with owner for ten minutes not to put the CD in the CD Player.
  2. Gives up, as there's no way to sway a fucking Linkin Park fan.
  3. Notices a similar structure of the first song to the first Linkin Park CD.
  4. Predicts chorus, breakdown, and then the chorus again; not surprised.
  5. Skips 3 tracks, notes similar structure.
  6. Skips 2 more tracks, there's got to be something worth listening to on this fucking thing
  7. Gives up
  8. Removes CD
  9. Breaks CD
  10. Tells owner it's for the better.

So there you have it, the reason why I'm right and you're wrong. I usually tell people that if they like the band support them by all means, but fuck it. Don't support Linkin Park. If we ignore them they might go away. If anything, they'll at least try something different with their songs, but that's a long shot.