We are awesome.
There's no way you can ignore it, Shea Holtzman and I are awesome. There's really nothing much more you can say. You will never meet a funnier duo than us two. Observe:
We often go to our local Hoss's and eat and talk about times of old. Not only that, we kick ass at talking. We have the funniest dialogues in the world. It's undeniable so don't try. Our conversations are so well put together you'd think they were scripted. Shea will usually say something funny, and I'll say something just as funny in return. People laugh. You can't be more awesome than that.
If you ever see us in public, odds are you'll laugh. It's inevitable, we're just awesome. Trust me. If you say anything to us, we'll have something wit-filled to reply to you. We're really fast at that. That's why we're awesome. We're smarter, funnier, and more clever than anyone you've ever met, or will meet. We could take a poll of Shea and I versus anyone else in the world, but it would be a waste of time, because they would lose.
We deserve to be knighted. In fact, if we were British, we'd be Dukes. It's a fact. One time I told a joke and the Queen of England laughed. True story. She thought it was so funny she wanted us to be British so she could knight us. Fortunately for us, we're not British. The British suck. Shea and I are awesome. Seriously. Shea is going to write something extremely funny now.
As a second to the motion stated previously; indeed it is true that max and i are quite possibly the most dynamic comic duo since laurel and hardy versus perfect strangers... except the fact that neither of us are fat fucks with hitler-esque mustaches or hail from a foreign country with zany antics. The whole superiority complex seems to be shining through at this time. Im not afraid to admit it, max and i are the varitable "shit" when it comes to the subject of life. Insightful views, biting humor, and razor sharp wit equip us, the knights of dialogue, with the power to level complete city blocks of assholes with one subject.
god bless, and farewell from shea
See what I mean? There's a world of ass kicking just brewing inside us as a team. The weak and ghetto don't stand a chance against our infectious commentary. No one can withstand the furious insults we wield with feverous accuracy. You suck. We don't. Checkmate. We're awesome.
Can it get more awesome than this?