On My Way

My name is Rhonda.  I live in Milwaukee, WI.  I have a daughter, Katie, who is the light of my life.  I also have a very cute dog named Macy.  She's a Chihuahua/Jack Russell mix.  I work for a health care organization full-time and I also have a  part-time data entry job.  I  graduated in May of 2007 with a Paralegal degree, but the job market is very tight and I haven't been successful in finding a job in that field. 

I didn't have a weight problem while I was growing up, but food was always an obsession with me.  I remember using food for comfort as far back as I can remember.  I would come home from school and ask my mom "What's for supper?", and my mood would either skyrocket or plummet, depending on her answer.  If it was a meal I liked I would be excited, and if it was something I wasn't too fond of I would be almost depressed.  A very clear memory is from age 6.  At school we were given a small manila pouch to order an I.D. bracelet.  On the line where I was supposed to fill in my name I wrote "food is good".  So as you can see, from very early on food has played a starring role in my life.

I didn't start gaining weight until after high school, and it's just snowballed since then.  In recent years, my weight has really gotten out of control.  If I was invited to a family function or other event, my first thought would be "I wonder what we're going to eat", followed by "How long do I have to go without eating between the time I leave home and the time we eat?".  Many times I would eat at home before going somewhere so that when I ate with other people they thought I was eating a normal amount.  Little did they know I'd probably had a McDonald's meal or 3 items from Taco Bell before I left home.  At my job, if we were having a potluck or food catered in, I would go through a fast food drive-thru on my way to work, and eat in the parking lot  before I  went inside so that what I ate in front of my co-workers was pretty much the same amount everyone else was eating.  The problem was they were full from one meal, and it took me two meals to be satisfied.     

I can tell you the defining incident that changed my way of thinking.  It was Saturday, June 2nd, 2007.  There is an annual festival held here in downtown Milwaukee called River Splash.  My daughter and I made plans to go.  It was a beautiful day outside, about 70 degrees and sunny.  It should have been a wonderful day.  Yet - I didn't enjoy myself for one minute.  I was so self-conscious about my appearance.  I know, at 250 pounds, that I was nowhere near the largest person there.  But I wasn't comfortable with how I looked, and I was on the verge of tears the whole time.  I should have been enjoying the day outside with my daughter, and all I wanted to do was come home and cry.  Not come home and eat like in the past, but just come home and cry. 

I officially re-committed the following Saturday, June 9, 2007.   As of today (July 25, 2007) I have been OP (on plan) every single day.  I don't miss McDonald's or Taco Bell, or any other fast food place where I could recite the menu by heart.  I finally realized that what how I was eating, and the food I was so accustomed to enjoying, was not important enough for it to affect every other aspect of my life. 

This time the weight loss journey feels different than it has in the past.  My earlier attempts at WW were almost frantic, with all the emphasis on  "How much can I lose and how fast can I lose it?".  This time I feel more calm.  I know this is going to be a lifelong process for me.  I know that I can't take this journey to lose over 100 pounds and then go back to my former way of eating. 

I've found a wonderful support system on the Weight Watcher's boards.  I've "met" some wonderful people, and a few of us talk almost daily by e-mail.  These are people that I truly think of as friends, and they have become an integral part in my success so far.  I'm hoping to meet them in person someday. 

I would love to be a WW leader when I reach goal.  I'd love to help people be successful in their weight loss journey and help them change their lives.  With the support and I encouragement I find all around me, I know I can make that happen.