It Could be Worse - You Could be...

 You think you've got it bad? It could be worse - you could be... 

Contact:  youcouldb@gmail.com 

I decided to return to update It Could be Worse after reading the following item in the August Harper's Index:  Estimated percentage of all existing blogs that have not been updated in four months: 94

So here it goes...

Here is my latest YouTube video. I have been wanting to make this since the end of the election, but I thought I would give her a pass. But then she kept coming back for more, so...

The song was written by the great Harlan Howard. Jimmie Dale Gilmore makes the song his own with this version.

Rod was requesting special permission to appear on the NBC reality show "I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!" from Costa Rico. No joke - he really was. U.S. District Judge James Zagel said "I don't think this defendant fully understands and I don't think he could understand ... the position he finds himself in."

The judge did allow Blago to continue his participation in "I'm a Crooked Politician - Don't Send Me to Jail for 20 Years!" Who needs reality shows when you have Chicago politics?

While the picture below looks innocent enough...

 ...the paper on the top of the pile is TOP SECRET! Bob Quick, Britain's top cop against terrorism, allowed info about an al-Qaida investigation in the UK to be read from this photograph. The blunder forced a police raid ahead of schedule. Bob resigned. Unidentified sources say that Mr. Quick asked for a briefcase for Christmas, but Santa apparently did not come through. 

Mr. Quick should have taken a lesson on secrecy from U. S. Rep. Spencer Bachus (R-Ala.).  "Some of the men and women I work with in Congress are socialists," Bachus told local government leaders on Thursday, according to the Birmingham News. While he wouldn't name names, he did say there were 17 socialists in the House.  (Click here for the Link from HuffPo)

In a related item, I happen to know of 23 house members who are vampires and 3 who are werewolves. For now, I am keeping their identities a secret. In addition, there are 52 cannibals,  a half-dozen satanists and 178 Republicans. 

...but did they have to release it on April Fool's Day? They released a version of their budget last week with no numbers. No one brought up the point that - Hey, maybe we should wait another day before we release this irrelevant document full of regressive tax cuts? Maybe they shouldn't release it on the ONE DAY OF THE YEAR devoted to foolishness. On second thought, maybe April 1st was THE MOST appropriate day to release such a joke that no one will take seriously. 

...without NUMBERS! The Republicans came out with their "Road to Recovery." Thanks, but we'll wait for the version that actually contains numbers. While the Republicans have become accustomed  to speaking without thinking and a party without leadership, releasing a budget without numbers is a blunder even the GOP should be above.  

 GOP House Minority Leader John "the man with a tan but not a plan" Boehner decided to roll out the budget this week, promising to release the pesky numbers next week.

While I was kidding (of course) about the angry mobs outside the houses of AIG execs when I first posted the previous post, guess what happened. Angry protesters assembled outside the homes of AIG execs.

How can you vent your anger concerning this financial disaster? Take a Bus Tour of AIG exec's homes:  Homes of AIG Execs Bus Tour. 

And when I said in the previous post that the angry mob was out by the mailbox...

(AP): Mary Huguley, center, delivers a letter of protest for Douglas Poling in a mailbox outside his home in Fairfield Conn. on Saturday March 21, 2009. A busload of activists, outnumber 2-to-1 by reporters and photographers, are paying visits to the homes of American International Group Inc. executives in Connecticut to protest tens of millions of dollars in bonuses awarded by the company. AIG has received more than $182 billion in federal aid. (AP Photo/Douglas Healey)

...from AIG. The good news: they mailed you a check for a million dollars. The bad news: there's an angry mob out by the mailbox.

AIG: Audacious Incentive Giveaway

The American public love a scapegoat, and what better target than the audacity displayed by the AIG bonuses ($165 million). AIG's argument amounted to 'Yes, we murdered the economy and buried it in the woods, but we are the only ones who can lead you to the shallow grave where the body is buried, so we deserve the bonuses.'

The outrage reached a zenith when Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley said "But I would suggest the first thing that would make me feel a little bit better toward them if they'd follow the Japanese example and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say, I'm sorry, and then either do one of two things: resign or go commit suicide."

The tin ear of the financial execs has been somewhat shocking. With 401Ks decimated, rampant layoffs, firefighters taking voluntary pay cuts to avoid layoffs, what kind of reaction do these Wall Street elites expect?

AIG Chief Edward Liddy had the unenviable opportunity to make his case before congress. He actually did about as well as one could expect. He said some employees have agreed to give back half or even all of the money. What is half of "You Gotta be F%&cking Kidding Me"?

What was General Rushbaugh's take on the matter? He defended AIG, and blamed Obama for his inflamatory rhetoric. Oh Rush, you little contrarian you.

Or, worse yet, one of his investors...

Bernie at least had the dignity to plead guilty to all 11 couns of fraud, money laundering, perjury and theft. He didn't exactly cooperate with the prosecution, and he was not as contrite as his victims had wished. Bernie made off with $65 BILLION since a) the 1980s according to the govt. b) the 1990s according to Madoff. 

In the end, he faces a maximum of 150 years in prison, and his bail has been revoked because he is considered a flight risk. He is scheduled to be sentenced June 16.

The more modest its intellectual ballast, the more exclusively it takes into consideration the emotions of the masses, the more effective it will be. And this is the best proof of the soundness or unsoundness of a propaganda campaign, and not success pleasing a few scholars or young aesthetes.

The art of propaganda lies in understanding the emotional ideas of the great masses and finding, through a psychologically correct form, the way to the attention and thence to the heart of the broad masses. The fact that our bright boys do not understand this merely shows how mentally lazy and conceited they are.

Once understood how necessary it is for propaganda in be adjusted to the broad mass, the following rule results:
It is a mistake to make propaganda many-sided, like scientific instruction, for instance.

The receptivity of the great masses is very limited, their intelligence is small, but their power of forgetting is enormous. In consequence of these facts, all effective propaganda must be limited to a very few points and must harp on these in slogans until the last member of the public understands what you want him to understand by your slogan. As soon as you sacrifice this slogan and try to be many-sided, the effect will piddle away, for the crowd can neither digest nor retain the material offered. In this way the result is weakened and in the end entirely canceled out.

Thus we see that propaganda must follow a simple line and correspondingly the basic tactics must be psychologically sound.

Rush didn't actually publish this, but he appears to adhear to it. It is taken from a much earlier work. 1943 to be exact. Chapter 6 entitled War Propaganda of Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler.

Next Post: Dear Mr. Limbaugh, I am sorry for comparing you to Hitler.

Dear Mr. Limbaugh,

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for referring to you as "a big fat idiot" in a previous posting. That was not a nice thing to say about you. It really is Al Franken's fault, because he said it first. 

I encourage every American to take this opportunity to apologize to you. I have heard people say some mean things about you, like that you are a bigot and you get a lot of your facts wrong. They made fun of you about the Oxycontin addiction - and your three failed marriages are your business only. And I agree with you that Michael J. Fox was fakin' the shakin' in that commercial. I'll bet all those people with Parkinson's are a bunch of fakers.

They made a big deal when you said you wished that Obama would fail. They tried to make it sound like you wanted the country to fail. I think you made it pretty clear that you only want the country to fail while Obama is president. I don't think they understood that.

Some say your tent is too small. Are they kidding?  You've got 20 million listeners! You've got the biggest tent of any of the freak shows on the midway!

Might they simply be jealous of your new $400 million contract through 2016? A perfect illustration of H. L. Menken's quote: "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public."

So I am sorry for all the people who have been saying bad things about you and for calling you a big fat idiot. It can't be easy being the de facto leader of anything, let alone of the wayward GOP. I even heard one hater call you the de fatso leader of the party. MEAN PEOPLE SUCK! They should be ashamed of themselves. I know I am.

By the way, I love the black coat with the black shirt look. They say black makes people look thinner, and you sure looked svelte in those photos from CPAC.

Two Articles Worth Reading:

Newsweek: Why Rush is Wrong by David Frum (Conservative)

 NY Times Editorial: Just Steele Yourselves by Gail Collins

Michael Steele, the Republican National Committee Chairman, made the following comments about General Rushbaugh: 

"Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. Rush Limbaugh, his whole thing is entertainment. Yes, it’s incendiary. Yes, it's ugly. " Well Stated, chairman... until you decided that you needed to apologize for stating the obvious truth.

"My intent was not to go after Rush - I have enormous respect for Rush Limbaugh," Steele said. "I was maybe a little bit inarticulate... There was no attempt on my part to diminish his voice or his leadership."

David Letterman's take on Rush's look at CPAC while interviewing Katie Couric:

When Roland Burris said that no one from the Blago camp mentioned any type of compensation for the Illinois Senate seat, he meant it... except for the times that they asked for fund raising. And when Burris said that he NEVER paid anything to the Blago camp, he meant that too... except for the fund raising that he did for them.

Created with the Motivational Poster Generator

http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/motivator.php

A survey of a group of 65 historians conducted recently ranked the presidents - Lincoln came out on top. George W. Bush "was ranked 36th out of the 42 men who had been chief executive by the end of 2008, according to a survey conducted by the cable channel C-SPAN." [Why 42 men and not 43? While Bush was the 43rd president, Grover Cleveland was president twice with Benjamin Harrison in between.] Bush ranked 41st in international relations. Click here for the link to the article.

Dan Akroyd returns to SNL to portray the always tan House Minority Leader John Boehner (R - Ohio). SNL nails the Republicans for being arrogant, out of touch, self-congratulatory obstructionists. It might be more amusing if it weren't so true.

Three measly votes out of the entire Republican House and Senate? May you Sons-a-bitches burn in the darkest recesses of Hades.

Oh, and by the way, Representative Boehner, the House Minority Leader from Ohio - No one in Ohio is naturally tan in February. And Senator McCain - You are completely irrelevant in everything you do and say.

Seriously, the Republican behavior is undermining the confidence of Americans to deal with this crisis. Bring on the midterm elections.

Thank you to Senators Olympia Snow (R - Maine), Arlen Specter (R - Penn.)  and Susan Collins (R - Maine)! These were the only three Republicans in the entire senate and house who were willing to cross the leader of their party, Rush Limbaugh, and support the stimulus package. 

The congress went along with every crazy and illegal thing that Bush desired for two dreadful presidential terms, and now they decide to take a stand against spending. Righting the economy is far more important that invading Iraq ever was. The rest of the cowardly 'publicans can't stand the idea of President Barack Obama actually being competent and succeeding, so they decide to put their own political interests ahead of the desperate need of the country. Way to lead!

God, I hope they pay for their obstruction. The Dems bent over backward to accommodate their concerns, removing some of the most valuable portions of the bill. This puts the ball in the corner of the voter. Remember this when the midterm elections come around and make the selfish obstructionists pay!

UPDATE: Feb. 10 Gallup Poll

Public's view of handling of the stimulus package

Obama: 67% favorable/25% unfavorable

Republicans in Congress: 31% favorable/58% unfavorable

Geraldo really knows how to pick a cause. He shouting to the heavens about how Blago is being treated unfairly. Maybe he sympathizes with an arrogant public figure with funny hair.

 Back in the early '80s I saw a video in journalism class featuring Geraldo. In his office he had a  large poster of of the face of his hero: himself.

You can't make stuff like this up! This is totally surreal. It is like driving past a car wreck - you don't want to look, but you can't take your eyes off it. While Blago 's  impeachment hearing was underway in the Illinois Senate, Rod-man took his case directly to the American public  on  a TV blitzkrieg that included  The View. He apparently stood up Geraldo, who then ambushed him in The View parking lot. But don't get the wrong idea - Geraldo appears to support Blago's bizarre defense.

Just when you think it can't get any worse (or is it better?), Blago says he considered Oprah for the Illinois senate seat.  

 Just for the record - NONE of this posting is made up!

Blago held a new conference today where he complained "I'm not even getting a fair trial. They're just hangin' me."

After the new conference, President Obama, in a rare instance of impatience, ordered Blago to be held at Guantanamo Bay indefinitely. 

Do they have hairspray at Gitmo? If not, that is definitely cruel and unusual punishment.

 File Under: News Item We Wish Were True

This is not some fake sign generator on the web. It is a photo from the most emailed story on the New York Times web site for Jan. 23! The road is in South Yorkshire, England. Click here for a Link to the NY Times article. 

The Rev. Joseph Lowery provided a heartfelt benediction to conclude the inaugural ceremony. I was not surprised by the soaring vocals of Aretha or the challenging speech by Obama, but the down-to-Earth, sometimes humorous benediction was a pleasant surprise. 

On a related note: NPR was asking poets for "alternative" Inaugural Poems. This one is a classic.

Link: All the Love for the President-Elect by Suzan-Lori Parks

Click here for a link to a BBC interview with MLK Jr in 1964. 

Dr. King speaks about the possibility of a black president. 

Nixon on Laugh-in - Sept. 16, 1968 while running for president 

• Blagojevich was impeached by the Illinois House of Reps for the second time in as many weeks! The newly elected house members were sworn in, so they had to vote again to impeach the gov'ner. Last week's vote was 114-1 with one voting present. The lone rep who voted against and the one who voted present left the House of Reps. The new vote: 117-1, with Blago's SISTER-IN-LAW,  Deborah Mell, voting against impeachment! Life is beautiful.
• Somebody better get carving on Roland Burris' monument, because he was seated as a United States Senator today.
• Sir Charles Barkley was dropped by T-Mobile as the celebrity in their commercials.
• Adolf Hitler, age 3, was removed from his parents care (along with two of his siblings with Aryan-related names) by the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services. No word on why the children were removed from the home.
• James "Beam-me-up-Scotty" Traficant will not be going to a halfway house for the remaining months of his jail term. Jimmy balked when he discovered that the  chief executive of the halfway house to which he was assigned had testified against him. He will be staying put in prison for the remainder of his term.

My video slideshow tribute to GWB...

See ya' - wouldn't want to be ya'!

 On a technical note, I can't tell you how much trouble I had with this video. The first soundtrack I used, Thanks for the Memories by Ella Fitzgerald, was rejected on YouTube on copyright issues. It added an ironic twist to the photos. I then tried YouTube's AudioSwap to change the soundtrack, and everyone on YouTube was complaining about glitches with the program, which only played 2 seconds of audio. This was my third soundtrack. I also had trouble uploading the video - I am not sure why. 

Neil still knows how to have fun making music. In this video he put his earbuds in his ears and then plugs it into an Apple (if I am viewing it correctly). Long Live Neil! 

No, Roland Burris, is not dead; In fact his ego is alive and well. Blago's nominee to fill the senate seat vacated by Obama is apparently one proud person. This is a monument to himself that he had constructed at Chicago's Oak Woods Cemetery. In the center is the State Seal of Illinois with the term "TRAIL BLAZER" and a list of his major accomplishments underneath. The wings list "Other Major Accomplishments."

Roland's daughter's name: Rolanda  Roland's son's name: Roland II

• Bill Richardson, Governor of New Mexico, withdrew his nomination for Secretary of Commerce in the Obama Administration. There is a grand jury investigation of Richardson for a pay to play arrangement. This pains me, as I like Bill and was pulling for him for Veep. The fact that his name quickly dropped off the list of VP candidates was not a good sign. There are some suggestions that Richardson may have played down the issue in the vetting process.
• Author Neale Donald Walsch (who seems to have a few extra letters in his name) is guilty of plagiarism of an article he posted on Beliefnet.com. The author of the "Conversations with God" series borrowed a memory of Candy Chand and recounted it as his own. Walsch admits his error and claims he "internalized it as my own experience."  I tried that once on a biology test in high school and they called it cheating.

In an attempt to spread the word of this site, I've hired as many of the out of work, former millionaire stockbrokers and mortgage brokers that I could afford to advertise the site in the major financial districts.

Here is my Worst of 2008 year in Review distilled down to two images. 

The two places you did not want to find yourself in 2008 was in the doghouse with John Edwards and Eliot Spitzer...

Or in the Bighouse with Kwame Kilpatrick and Ted Stevens.

 Two deserving personalities who are not pictured:

• Michael Vick - I couldn't decide if he belonged in the doghouse or in the bighouse.
• Blago - His fate has yet to be determined, but I am guessing he will end up in the nut house.

NY Times columnist Bob Herbert makes this resolution for our country (click here for link). Any chance we can stick to it?

Salon has an article called "The Year the Celebrity Scandal Died" by Sarah Hepola (click for link). She makes some interesting observations, as does the "Scandals to Warm Us" article (displayed in a posting below) from the NY Times.

However, the belief that the American public is no longer interested in celebrity scandal is just wishful thinking. Sure, financial and political scandal has temporarily usurped the headlines, but that is just a result of timing. When it comes to scandal, the American public is an equal-opportunity lender, willing to devote our (almost) undivided attention to any famous celebrity, politician, financier, or athlete willing to put their arrogance and poor judgment on full display.

I was torn between a presidential greeting or singing dogs - so I compromised with this YouTube Video...

And now for 52 seconds of pure Christmas Cheer...

Nothing says Christmas like surf guitar carols, Mexican wrestling masks and dancing girls. This is Los Straitjackets with the Famous Pontani Sisters at their Christmas pageant. The 'jackets 'Tis the Season for Los Straitjackets is my favorite Christmas CD. 

Congrats to Blago for beating out Eliot Spitzer and John Edwards. I wonder if they give you a plaque with the award? (Click here for the CNN Link)

Money Trumps Sex in Current Scandal Market 

"Economists have many ways of defining an economic slump, including rising unemployment, falling growth rates and a seesawing stock market. But perhaps the clearest indicator is the scandal factor: when greed trumps lust, and fraud is more fascinating than infidelity, it’s safe to say that the recession has arrived."

(Link to Dec. 20 article by Alessandra Stanley in NY Times)

Another Ugly, Overpriced Present Nobody Wants (honorable mention)

Decorate the sweater contest in The Columbus Dispatch [shameless self-promotion on my part]

 (See a slide show of the contest here)

Musical Tribute to Blago:

Sherry Johnston, 42, of Wasilla was arrested for drug charges (six felony counts of misconduct involving a controlled substance). She is the mother of Levi Johnston, the expectant father of Bristol Palin's soon-to-arrive baby. According to a recent interview, Bristol is due on Saturday (Dec. 20).

Here is the link: http://www.adn.com/news/alaska/crime/story/628010.html 

Don't you hate it when your mom does stuff like this?

Update: Reports say the charges "are in relation to the drug oxycontin."

Andy sent me the following comment about Blago's hair: "Blago's hair is outstanding.  Looks like your's circa 1980." Naturally, I was flattered.

So here we go - head to head - Blago (today) vs. me (circa 1985)

I have every confidence that - given another month without a haircut and a case of hairspray - I could match Blago hair for hair. 

An added bonus: Blago's baby photo - 

Nobody can match Jimmy Traficant! He put the "con" in "congress."

Here is JT as a US Rep. from Ohio followed by his mug shot...

Yes, it was a rug. Hair that bad does not occur naturally. 

From Wikipedia: "He was expelled after being convicted of taking bribes, filing false tax returns, racketeering, and forcing his aides to perform chores at his farm in Ohio and on his houseboat in Washington, DC." Traficant is "currently serving out an eight-year prison term with a projected release date of September 2, 2009. He will be released to Community Corrections Association, a halfway house in Youngstown, OH  on March 9, 2009, where he will serve out the rest of his term. He will be expected to find a full time job, and will be able to go home for limited weekend visits"

• Financier Bernard Madoff - Busted for what the NY Times describes as "what may be the largest financial fraud in history, a Ponzi scheme whose losses could run as high as $50 billion." Update: Good Advice a Little Too Late: Never invest with someone whose name is pronounced "Made - off."
  
• A 44 year old mother of three in Baldwin, NY was a PTA member (wait for it) making out with a boy in a car (wait for it) - neither of them had on pants (wait for it) - the boy said he was 18 but turned out to be 13 - WHERE WERE THEY DOING THIS? (now!) In the back seat of a Pathfinder in the parking lot of Meadow Elementary School! http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=6473332&page=1
• You Can't Pick Your Parents - A child, now two years old, has been given the name Adolf Hitler Campbell by his proud Neo-Nazi parents. http://crooksandliars.com/david-neiwert/how-twisted-naming-your-child-after-

My favorite line from the video is about the hair.

What could make this story better? Well, he refuses to resign - that keeps the fun going. We can all keep our fingers crossed that he does the unthinkable and tries to appoint himself as the replacement for the open Senate seat.

The footage below is of Blago in action... caught on a secret camera... 

F

I have had this idea for some time, but the audacity of Gov. Blago provided the push I needed to get this started. The current dishonoree will hold his/her spotlight until someone comes up with something better (ie worse) or more timely. 

 With the birth of the site, I will retroactively induct the following 10 dishonorees to the site (in no particular order):

• Idaho Senator Larry Craig (wide stance in airport restroom)
• Former NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer ($3,000 escort escapades)
• The ever generous lobbyist Jack Abramoff
• Falcon's QB Michael Vick (Whose career went to the dogs)
• Monica Lewinsky/Bill Clinton (no comment necessary)
• US Rep. (CA) Gary Condit (affair with murdered intern Chandra Levy)
• Michael Richards (actor Kramer's worst stand up act ever)
• Mel Gibson (Ultra-conservative drunk-driving anti-semite actor)
• US Rep (FL) Mark Folery (IM page scandal)
• OJ Simpson (most recently for armed robbery conviction)

NOTE: I am currently trying to convince myself that the Bush Administration never happened, so no one from the Executive Branch for the past 8 years is on the list. 

POSTHUMOUS LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD: Former President Reechard Nixon 

Post anyone else you think deserves the dishonor (current or in the past) in the Could be Worse Forum.