It occurred to me and a bunch of my fanfiction friends that this badly needed to be written. Here is our guide to fix up your grammar, avoid annoying mary-sues, and not make many of the mistakes that Cats writers often make when just starting out. Chief contributors include myself, Tantabomb, and Chi. I hope to add much more to this in the future. Suggestions for things to add are welcome. This is divided into three sections: grammar, Cats-specific tips, and a guide to mary-sues. Grammar is just a general overview of the common mistakes all fanfiction writers (including myself) make, and how to avoid them. Cats-specific tips are little tidbits that only apply to Cats fics, and are commonly broken by new authors. The guide to mary-sues (*hiss*) should be required reading for any fanfiction author: mary-sues are most often not fun to read about! (Exceptions are always possible, but don't count on it...)

Grammar

Punctuation/Capitalization

• Start every sentence with a capital letter, no matter what.

• End each sentence with an appropriate punctuation mark - and only one of them. You do not need to end every sentence with an ellipses (...) to make it sound ominous or mysterious.

• Using more than one question mark and more than one exclamation point on the end of one sentence is incorrect.

• Ellipses (...) should be used sparingly. Do not end every single spoken line with an ellipses, and normal sentences do not need them.

• Contrary to popular belief, contractions (don't, can't, won't, etc.) need an apostrophe.

• A semicolon ( ; ) is used to join two separate yet related thoughts. There must be a complete sentence on each side of it (meaning it must have two subjects and two verbs all together). A colon is used to introduce something. These are difficult to use correctly. If you are unsure which to use, please don't use either one; just structure your sentence differently.

• The first word inside parentheses does not need to be capitalized if the parentheses are inside of another sentence. Also, every time a sentence ends with the use of something in parentheses, you still need to put punctuation at the end of the original sentence.
  Example: "She could do one dance (the cha-cha)."

• A spell-checker is a fanfiction writer's best friend! Stories that are riddled with errors and typos are unreadable. It is irresponsible to not spell check your stories.

Sentence Structure/Dialogue

• When writing dialogue, put a paragraph break between lines spoken by different people. There can only be one person speaking per paragraph. Every time a new person speaks, start a new paragraph.

• Spoken words should be surrounded by ". Do NOT use script format (Tugger: blahblah = BAD).

• If you are writing a sentence like this: ["Oh," he said.], you must use a comma between the spoken words and telling the audience who is speaking. Optionally you may use an exclamation point or question mark, but NOT a period. Ellipses are also used, but it's not a good idea as the use of ellipses in dialogue often occurs alongside ellipses abuse in the rest of the fanfic.

• Every sentence needs to have a subject and a verb and needs to express a complete thought. Read a sentence out loud to see if it sounds right if you aren't sure. For example, "The way he swishes his tail," is not a complete sentence: there is no verb. A correction might be "The way he swishes his tail is adorable." "Is" is the verb of the sentence (not "swishes"). Alternately, there needs to be some kind of punctuation to separate a sentence with two verbs or two subjects.

• While it is generally a bad idea to simply use "he said, she said" to describe your dialogue, do not abuse a thesaurus. Only use terms that fit the moment, they should not be too long or flowery ('urple). In other words, the terms you use should fit the rest of the fanfic, and should be practical.

Commonly Misused Words

• Their - owned by them (example: their cat)
  There - as opposed to here (example: over there)
  They're – contraction for, “they are” (example: they're playing)

• Your – owned by you (example: your cat)
  You're – contraction for, “you are” (example: you're old)

• Then - “they did this, then they did this.”
  Than - “this was better than this.”

• It's – contraction for, “it is” (example: it's good)
  Its – shows that something belongs to “it” (example: its tail is long)

• Good – an adjective, can only describe a person, place, thing, or idea (example: that was a good jump)
  Well – an adverb, can only describe an action (incorrect: you jump good; correct: you jump well)

• Where – shows location (Where is it?)
  Were – how you were a while ago (You were good.)

• Here – shows location (I'm over here.)
  Hear – what you do with your ears (Do you hear it?)

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Cats Tips

• You do not need to write in the accents for Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer - we already know what their accents sound like, we don't need you cluttering up the meaning of the dialogue so people can see the accents. For that matter, written accents for any of the characters are unnecessary.

• The magical cat's name is spelled, "Mistoffelees," with two f's and one l. Also, note other commonly misspelled cat names: Munkustrap (I know the video special features say “Munkistrap”), Bombalurina, Quaxo, Mungojerrie, Pouncival, Old Deuteronomy, Rumpleteazer (an alternate form, “Rumpelteazer,” is possible depending on country of origin).

• Avoid mary-sue cats whenever possible. (see the mary-sue guide)

• Cats are allowed to mate with their relatives.

• Certain cats are specific breeds (ie Munkustrap=tabby, Electra=tortoise-shell, etc) Please do not classify any cat as any specific breed unless you are absolutely sure that you are correct. Incorrect assumptions make fanfics confusing.

• You don't need to give detailed descriptions of every cat. It is pretty much assumed that you are writing for an audience that is familiar with the show. We know what the cats look like already. (A small description is appropriate for an original cat.)

• Canon is not there to be ignored! Stories that stray far from canon not only ring false, but are very un-fun to read!
  Important canon facts:
  - Etcetera LOVES the Rum Tum Tugger. There is absolutely no getting around that.
  - Macavity does primarily bad stuff
  - Munkustrap is the leader
  - Tugger is a ladies' tom, and enjoys it
  Making a story that is designed to disprove canon is disrespectful to authors who dutifully follow it.

• To a certain extent, Jellicles live as regular cats do. They either have humans, or they live in the wild (most likely in the junkyard). They can hunt for food, or eat it from a pet food bowl. Stories (besides AU) that describe cats living in little straw huts or cooking a chicken for dinner and similar such things simply ring false. (One plausible exception to the “cats don't cook” rule can be Jennyanydots: her poem [not her song] describes her as cooking for the mice.)

• Be careful who you turn into relatives: keep your relations plausible. Tugger, Munkustrap, Macavity, Mistoffelees, and Alonzo can all conceivably be sons of Old Deuteronomy, but think before applying the same to Asparagus, Skimbleshanks, or other older cats. Others who don't work as Old D's kids include Bombalurina, Demeter, Cassandra, Coricopat and Tantomile, etc.

• Demeter and Bombalurina have very canonized personalities. Demeter is shy and paranoid, often due to bad past relations with toms. Bombalurina is strong and outgoing, and often a playgirl. Exceptions can be made, but it needs to be a pretty remarkable story to be pulled off.

• Depending on when your story is set (before or after the Jellicle Ball of the video), be careful with inclusions of Grizabella

• Be extra careful with OC (original character) cats. It's far too easy to make a queen into a mary-sue, or to make a tom into a generic, boring cat. He/she needs some character flaws and established traits. Also, please take note that too many OC cats in a story make it uninteresting: people want to read more about the cats they know rather than the ones you made up (not that we don't want to read about your cats at all, it's just that we already like a lot the ones we have already).
  
  
  

A note about feline homosexuality / slash fiction:

Let me start by saying that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. If you are against slash, you don't have to read it; and if you are for slash, no one can stop you from writing it (though please put up a small note somewhere in the summary or beginning of the story that there is slash so that people who do not wish to read it can avoid it). That said, the collaborative authors of this guide had a disagreement over the plausibility of a homosexual cat.

Conversation on Jellicle Moon forum on the subject: (see the whole topic here)

• Chi: Still more: While cats can mate their relatives, they cannot be homosexual! They can NEVER be homosexual! NEVER! NEVER! Humans are the only living things that can be homosexual. (Well, I suppose hermaphrodites and asexual creatures could be considered homosexual...)

• Mystitat: I might point out: while real cats cannot be homosexual, we're not really talking about real cats here. These are Jellicles. There's really no clear definition of where the factual traits of the animal stop and the character starts. After all, real cats cannot sing, dance, and send one of their own into cat-heaven either (or can they? eh, I'm assuming not at the moment). You've got to remember, hey, this is a showful of cats played by humans with quite a few human characteristics (such as standing on two legs, etc.) Personally, I enjoy slash fics, and I think they are perfectly admissible.

• Tantabomb: "All Cats are Jellicle Cats." 'Nuff said.

• Mystitat: I still hold with what I said.

• Chi: The only way I think slash fic would be admissible in the Cats fandom is if you specifically state that they are more human than Cat in your story. If the author is going on about how they're on four paws, and all that, then two cats of the same gender really should not be getting turned on by each other. If, however, the author wants them to be more human, and like in the show, then I could see it working a bit better, but it still just makes me go "NO! EW! THAT'S SO WRONG!" because I will always think of them as felines, not humans in catsuits.

• Tantabomb: Yes, I think that's what I was trying to point out. If you're going to include slash in a cats fic:
  a - make the pair plausible. Tugger/any male is not going to happen. Not even if it's Misto.
  b - make sure it's evident that they are more human than feline. To me, this basically screams a/u, but I'm sure it can be done. Actually, it might even be believable if you made 1/2 the pair neutered...I'm personally of the opinion that femslash for cats is right out, but with that last possibility it might be plausible for male slash. If you're a really good writer.
  c - make sure people know there's slash in the story, so people who can't stand to see feline homosexuality (regardless of how much they're humanized) won't accidentally go to read the fic and be offended.

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Mary-sues

Your cat is a mary-sue if most of the following apply:

• she is a queen with unnatural beauty and bizarre fur patterns and/or eye color

• she has grace surpassing Victoria, a voice better than Jemima, and more sex appeal than Bombalurina

• Mistoffelees, Munkustrap, Rum Tum Tugger, or Macavity (or all of them, and/or more!) fall instantly in love with her

• she has hidden magical powers, similar to or better than those of Mistoffelees

• she has a tragic past (examples: orphaned, raped by Macavity, rejected by her tribe, etc.)

• she has unknown past relations with the Jellicles (Mistoffelees' sister, Macavity's daughter, etc.)

• she is adopted into the Jellicle tribe unquestioningly and is immediately loved by everybody

• she is kidnapped by Macavity and must be rescued, or her mate is kidnapped and she must rescue him

• She disregards any pairings in the show - a queen will simply sidle off and let her mate be taken. Or the original queen is killed, and the tom then falls instantly in love with the mary-sue (he will be sad for all of .05 seconds, then be instantly charmed by her grace and beauty). Or, he was secretly in love with her along, and despised his mate anyway.

• Still not sure about your possible sue? Check out [url for Aerin's mary-sue litmus test here].

How to fix a mary-sue:

• Give some other cats a good reason not to like her. If she just came in and stole Mistoffelees from Jemima for example, make the story about Jemima trying to win him back from her clutches (the mary-sue will become the antagonist). Or give her a mean streak: she constantly says things she often regrets later, and consequently makes few friends.

• Don't let her be accepted into the tribe unconditionally. Perhaps give her some kind of task before she can be accepted.

• Make her fat, plain, lanky, ungraceful, a poor singer: anything so she's not so perfect.

• A shy queen can be just as much a mary-sue as a happy bubbly one. But a queen who is so annoyingly outgoing that no one wants to be around her is far less often one.

• Step back from your story for a minute and try to find specific parts that are annoyingly mary-sue-ish. Then delete them.

• Have the other queens in the junkyard form a conspiracy to evict the mary-sue. Then let it work.

• Make your mary-sue story on making fun of mary-sues as a whole. Maker her ridiculously mary-sue-ish, and ridicule her for it. This has been pulled off before with great success (after all, who doesn't like to see a mary-sue pulled off her throne?).

• Don't let your mary-sue fall in love with anyone. I know this would be hard to pull off, as mary-sue stories are just about always love stories, but try giving her something else to do. The main qualifier of a mary-sue is that she falls in love with Misto/Tugger/Munkus/Macavity. Breaking this link could be the difference between a mary-sue and an interesting queen to read about.

• Make her a tom (though she may turn into a john smith....?). Somehow, you never find OC toms as annoying as mary-sues. My guess is that because the Cats fanfiction community is primarily female (no offense to the guys out there), we often see mary-sues as competition for us. They always succeed at what we can't: getting a hold of the toms we want to fall in love with! Considering that we don't often freak out about toms taking our queens (though you never know who might be reading this stuff...), we don't see the toms as much of a threat. I think you will agree with me that OC toms are much more widely accepted than OC queens. If you're having a mary-sue problem, keep the plot, but make you character a boy.

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