FADE IN

 

INT. SLAYER CENTRAL 2—NIGHT

 

FAITH, dressed in something tight-fitting, but not restricting—Slaying clothes. She heads for the door, picking up a stake off the counter.

 

ANDREW

You’re going on patrol?

 

FAITH

Just like I do every night.

 

ANDREW

Just be careful. Illyria the ancient blue whatever she is, is still on the loose.

 

FAITH

Still no sign as to who she might be?

 

ANDREW

Not a word. But I’ll keep on looking.

 

FAITH

You do that. I’m going to find something to kill.

(cracks neck)

Had a hard day at work today, need to loosen up some, do something to relax.

 

EXT. CLEVELAND STREET—NIGHT

 

Faith is surrounded by three VAMPIRES—two male, one female. They fight, for a good thirty-seconds at least. Then Faith dusts a vamp off-camera (we are on a budget people!). More fighting. She dusts the other vamp. Only one camp left—the female, and she’s the most aggressive, knocking the stake out of Faith’s hand as she jumps onto the Slayer, ready to puncture her neck and to begin to drink. Faith rolls over onto the vampire, holding her down now. It’s payback time. Faith grabs a nearby trash can lid and decapitates the vamp. Dust.

 

FEMALE VOICE (o.s.)

Impressive.

 

Faith turns around, ready for another fight. Her stake is still on the ground, some feet away from her. LILAH MORGAN steps out of the shadows. Faith recognizes her immediately.

 

FAITH

Lilah Morgan.

 

LILAH

You remember me. I’m flattered.

 

FAITH

You tried to have me killed.

 

LILAH

I did.

 

FAITH

Wes said that you were dead.

 

LILAH

I am.

 

Faith’s hand goes for the stake.

 

LILAH

That won’t do you any good. Don’t your “Slayer senses” tell you that I’m not a vampire? Didn’t Wes tell you how he . . . took care of that?

 

Her hand goes towards her scarf, and then she stops. If the audience hasn’t caught on yet, they never will. And there’s really not any reason why they should.

 

FAITH

Then what are you?

 

LILAH

(with a shrug—not so sure herself?)

A servant of the Senior Powers, who have have given me this respite from hell to fulfill a very special mission. For the time being at least, I’m their instrument on this plane.

 

FAITH

(throwing arms up in frustration)

Is it something about me? There something about “reformed” that the evil in this city just doesn’t understand? B’ didn’t have her demons trying to play “Let’s Make a Deal” every time she went on patrol. Last week it’s “guess which demon is evil.” What is it this week? Not interested in finding out what’s behind demon door number 3, thank you.

 

Faith turns to leave.

 

LILAH

(calling after Faith)

You can’t hide from your destiny, you know.

 

FAITH

You know what my destiny is?

 

LILAH

No. But I know someone who does.

 

DRUSILLA steps out of the shadows.

 

DRUSILLA

(to Faith)

Such anger, like a spring. One day: pop! Goes the weasel. I see it, how it burns inside you, waiting to get outside.

 

The horror music reaches its climax with Dru’s, erm, prophecy. There’s silence. Faith looks at Lilah, then at Drusilla, then at Lilah.

 

FAITH

And who the hell is she?

 

FADE TO BLACK

 

END OF TEASER

Dark Champions

“Saved by Faith, Part I”

Starring

        

Juliet Landau

Stephanie Romanov

Tom Lenk

and

Amy Acker as Illyria

 

Guest Starring

Matt Champagne

Written, Directed, and Produced by Rev. Alixtii O’Krul V, TRL

Based on Characters by Joss Whedon
A Production of the Church of St. Jesu the Heretic, Discordian

FADE IN

INT. MANSION BEDROOM—NIGHT

 

On the bed sits JULIA, age 26, dressed in a negligee. IRVING REYNOLDS, age 38, enters, dressed in a dark business suit.

 

JULIA

You have no idea how I missed you.

 

IRVING

Oh?

 

JULIA

I bought you a present.

 

She hands him a small jewelry case. He opens it—inside is an expensive man’s ring.

 

IRVING

This must have cost you a small fortune. You shouldn’t have.

 

He leans down to kiss her, pocketing the jewelry case as he does so. She kisses him back, grabbing him by the neck and pulling him down on top of her.

 

JULIA

I love you. God, I need you.

 

She pushes herself against his body, getting as physical as she can but not really doing anything obscene. It is as if she is experiencing sexual ecstasy simply through physical contact. A BUZZER goes off, and a voice cuts in.

 

VOICE

Irving? There’s someone to see you. She’s rather . . . distressed.

 

IRVING

I’ll be right there, Jay.

(to Julia)

I’ll just be a minute, sweetheart.

 

JULIA

Don’t leave me!

 

Irving pulls away.

 

INT. MANSION PARLOR

 

A girl—THERESA, 24—stands in the corner. She is shaking, barely able to stand. Irving enters the room, and she runs to him, throwing his arms around him. She emits an audible sigh.

 

THERESA

I missed you so much. I just had to come over—

 

IRVING

Honey, we just saw each other yesterday.

 

THERESA

I know, but I just needed you so—

 

IRVING

Theresa, I’m in the middle of something right now. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.

 

THERESA

(fearful)

No! You can’t leave me! I need—

 

IRVING

(peeling her off him)

I’m busy. That’s all there is to it. Now will you leave, or do I have to have you escorted off the property?

 

Shaking again, Theresa gets up, slowly walks away. After she leaves, a figure—JAYTHOR—steps out of the shadows. He is clearly demonic, lizardlike in his features, but not obviously threatening. When he speaks, it is the same voice which was heard earlier over the buzzer.

 

JAYTHOR

She’s developing tolerance faster than the others.

 

IRVING

It’s been long enough. I’ve grown tired of her. Besides, she has nothing left to give us.

 

JAYTHOR

In that case, it is always hungry. Ravenous.

 

Irving nods, then moves to leave the parlor.

 

INT. MANSION BEDROOM—NIGHT

 

Julia is still on the bed, in her negligee. Irving enters.

 

IRVING

Now where were we, my love?

 

Julia runs across the room and throws herself on him, holding him tightly to her.

 

EXT. CLEVELAND STREET—NIGHT

 

Same as teaser.

 

FAITH

So this is Drusilla, the famous mad vampire.

 

DRUSILLA

This is Faith. The famous mad Slayer.

(beat)

I thought you would be taller.

 

FAITH

(to Lilah, raising stake)

Tell me again why I shouldn’t dust her here and now?

 

LILAH

Angel wouldn’t want you to.

 

FAITH

Angel would do it himself if he had to. And Angel isn’t here. Nobody knows where he is. Unless you do?

 

LILAH

(shakes head)

Believe me, the Senior Partners would like to know as much as you. More so, probably. Think how embarrassing it must be: to send an army and not even know if you succeeded in killing your target. That’s the problem with vampires: they don’t leave any evidence behind.

 

DRUSILLA

What fun are secrets if everyone knows?

 

LILAH

She, on the other hand . . . she’s closely attuned to her sire. And she has the Sight. She may very well know where—and, more importantly, if—he is. But she isn’t telling. Not telling me, anyway.

 

DRUSILLA

And why should I? Won’t even let me hunt.

(to Faith)

Says there are dangerous things on these streets. Slayers. But I’m not afraid. I killed you once. And then you came back, in this new dark shell—

 

LILAH

She means Kendra, your predecess—

 

FAITH

(not taking her eyes off Dru)

I know what she means.

(beat)

For Angel’s sake, I’ll let her leave Cleveland without becoming any more dead than she already is. For Wes’ sake, I’ll make you the same offer. I don’t see why I should do any more.

 

LILAH

Because the Hellmouth needs a guardian. Or guardians. And like any Champion, that guardian needs a guide.

 

FAITH

And my guides, a couple of dead women? Why should I trust you?

(beat)

Don’t bother answering that. I shouldn’t, that’s all there is. I don’t need your rationalizations. The way I see it, you’re a lawyer, you’re evil, and you’re dead. That’s three strikes against you.

 

LILAH

You’re wise to doubt my intentions. After all, I am evil. Not exactly wishing you the best of luck here. But what she sees, is the truth. The fact that I’m trying to play you right now doesn’t change that.

 

FAITH

How about the fact that she’s a vampire? And I’m a, what’s the word they used, ah yes! a Vampire Slayer. As in one who slays vampires.

 

LILAH

You’re not the first Slayer to make an exception. The Order of Aurelius has had . . . unusual luck.

 

DRUSILLA

(to Lilah)

But now I’m all alone. My Angel, my Spike, all casualties to your foolish war. But you don’t care. She . . . she understands. She knows what it means to be alone,

(to Faith)

don’t you?

 

Dru extends her hand to touch Faith’s hair; Faith knocks the hand away, violently.

 

FAITH

Get your hands off me, vamp!

 

Drusilla looks at her hand as if she just noticed this thing attached to her arm at the wrist.

 

DRUSILLA

That hurt.

 

FAITH

Sorry. Wait, no, I’m not.

 

LILAH

Think about it, Faith. Buffy had her special prophetic apocalyptic dreams.

 

DRUSILLA

(by way of conversation)

I was in one once. I killed Angel. It was . . . surreal.

 

LILAH

But you never did, did you, Faith.

 

FAITH

(defensive)

I did once, or maybe twice. During my coma. Although B’ might have been dreaming then, too.

 

LILAH

Angel had Doyle, then Cordelia. Krevlorneswath. Do you really think the Powers would leave you fighting all by yourself?

 

FAITH

It’s how I’ve gotten through life so far.

 

LILAH

But so far, you’ve been mostly ancillary. Angel had his destiny in L.A., and Buffy was guarding the Sunnydale Hellmouth. But now nobody knows where Angel is, and Buffy’s living the life of leisure in Europe. The rest of them have spread out all over the globe. You’re the only thing between Cleveland and its Hellmouth. You’ve moved into the center spotlight, honey.

 

FAITH

And the perqs include “mad vampire”? I’d settle for a nice wad of cash and a company car.

 

LILAH

The question isn’t whether you can afford to trust me. Because you’re right, you can’t. But can you afford to not trust her? When she sees something you could use to help someone, to save the world? Can you just sit idly by?

 

DRUSILLA

(whispers into Faith’s ear)

Three streets towards the rising sun. You’ll find her there. It devours her, eats away at her soul until there is nothing left.

 

Faith looks at Drusilla, then at Lilah, then back at Dru. She starts to run to the east, so fast that the audience has Tru Calling flashbacks. Lilah looks at Dru, and the two dead women move to follow her, although at a somewhat slower pace.

 

EXT. CLEVELAND STREET—NIGHT

 

Three blocks to the east. Faith enters the intersection, running. She looks around, and sees Theresa, huddled up and shaking, sitting against a lamppost.

 

THERESA

Need ‘m. Can’t live without.

 

FAITH

(bending down to help Theresa)

You’re shaking.

 

She feels Theresa’s forehead to check for fever, and raises the flesh above the girl’s left eye to check for pupil dilation. Lilah and Drusilla arrive behind her.

 

FAITH

I know these symptoms. She’s going through withdrawal.

 

THERESA

(more persistent)

Need. Want. Miss. Have to have—

 

Never mind that there’s no possible way that Faith could have figured out what was wrong with Theresa like that. Of course, neither can the Sunnydale electrical grid blueprints be reached via internet. This is where “Willing suspension of disbelief” comes in.

 

FAITH

We’ll have to get her to a rehab.

(beat)

You sent me running to save a drug addict?

 

Drusilla, with a theatrical sigh, pulls back Theresa’s hair to reveal a rash on the back of her neck. The rash is in the form of THE MARK OF ARIADNE—an eight-pointed starburst jutting out of a circle. CLOSE IN on the mark.

 

THERESA (o.s.)

Can’t wait—

 

FADE OUT.

 

END OF ACT ONE

 

FADE IN

 

ILLYRIA MONTAGE

 

A series of images of Illyria, mostly culled from “Night of the Old One.” Shots of her fighting Kryfnal are common.

 

1. Illyria in her apartment.

 

ANDREW (v.o.)

Illyria. No one knows what her name means, or where she comes from.

 

2. Illyria fighting Kryfnal.

 

ANDREW (v.o.)

Only that she is a being of strength and agility, who claims to be as old as time itself.

 

3. Close-up of Illyria.

 

ANDREW (v.o.)

Also, that she is blue

 

3. Kryfnal worshipping Illyria in the Primordium.

 

ANDREW (v.o.)

If we believe what she claims, she was once the ruler of this and many dimensions. But something happened. Because, you know, now we have a president. And an international conspiracy. They killed JFK.

 

4. Miscellanous images of Illyria.

 

ANDREW (v.o.)

Any records of who she is or what she wants is lost to us. She is a mystery, an enigma, a paradox, a riddle, an unknown—

 

COMPUTER SCREEN

 

The database of “Demons, Demons, Demons.” Letters are typed into a search field: I-L-L-Y-R-I-A. The mouse moves over to the find button, which becomes depressed. There is a beat, and then:

 

Demon not found. Make sure you spelled the name of your demon correctly, or try searching for a different demon.

 

INT. SLAYER CENTRAL 2—NIGHT

 

Andrew leans back in his chair, staring at his iBook. (I prefer PCs personally, but the Buffyverse oddly enough seems to only include Macs. Product placement?)

 

ANDREW

Damn. This watcher stuff is hard.

 

Faith rushes into her apartment carrying Theresa in tow. Drusilla, unable to enter, hangs in the hallway. Faith shows Andrew the rash on Theresa’s neck.

 

FAITH

I need to know what that is.

 

ANDREW

(re: Drusilla)

Is that a . . . ?

 

FAITH

It’s a vamp. ‘S not like you never saw one before.

 

ANDREW

What’s she doing outside your apartment?

 

FAITH

(her attention still on Theresa)

Can’t come in. You know the drill: vamps can’t enter a permanent residence without an invite. You gonna invite her in?

 

ANDREW

Hmm. Let me rephrase. Why isn’t she a pile of ash?

 

FAITH

That’s Drusilla, Spike’s sire. The one who sees visions.

 

ANDREW

(not understanding)

Oh, right.

(waves to Dru)

Hi, Drusilla.

 

Drusilla just looks at him with disgust on her face: “I’m crazy; what’s your excuse?”

 

FAITH

Andrew. The rash.

 

ANDREW

Right! I’m on it.

 

He turns his attention back to the books and laptop, trying to look busy.

 

THERESA

He has to help me. I need him.

 

FAITH

Who?

(beat)

I’m going to look for some I.D.

 

Faith searches Theresa, finally finds a wallet in her purse.

 

FAITH

Theresa Fontaine. 1130 Walnut Lane.

 

INT. W&H CLEVELAND—LANOIRE’S OFFICE—NIGHT

 

EDWARD LANOIRE works at his desk, going over paperwork.

 

LILAH (o.s.)

Working late, boss?

 

REVERSE ANGLE to reveal Lilah standing in the doorway.

 

LANOIRE

Well, you know what they say about no rest and the wicked.

(beat)

You certainly look pleased with yourself, Lilah.

 

LILAH

Just persuaded our friendly neighborhood Slayer to listen to a soulless vampire. Phase One completed. Before long, things will be happening just as the Senior Partners have planned.

 

LANOIRE

Be careful, Lilah. You’re playing a high-stakes game. And if the firm loses, you lose.

(beat)

But you already knew that, didn’t you?

 

LILAH

And if we win, we win big. Faith isn’t just any Vampire Slayer, Edward. She’s been the Chosen One.

 

LANOIRE

For three months. She spent the entire time in prison.

 

LILAH

There’s a power and a darkness there. I’ve seen her in action.

 

LANOIRE

(agreeing)

If she could be controlled by Wolfram and Hart. . . .

 

LILAH

Controlled? She’s a loose canon. But we may be able to manage to point her in the right direction…

 

EXT. 1130 WALNUT LANE—TWILIGHT

 

Faith and Dru approach the porched house, which is in a more suburban looking are of the city, or perhaps in an outlying district. Dru turns and looks east.

 

DRUSILLA

The sun. It rises.

 

FAITH

(still antagonistic)

I’m not the one who suggested you come along. It’s not as if you can go inside anyway.

 

Drusilla slips away. Faith steps onto the lawn. There is a FOR SALE sign. She walks down the walk, pauses on the front porch in front of the door as she looks both ways, then turns the knob so hard that it breaks. The door comes open, and Faith slips inside.

 

INT. 1130 WALNUT LANE—TWILIGHT

 

It’s a nice house, as far as it goes, with a large living room with a fireplace, but some of the furniture is conscpicuously absent. In fact, while various fade marks make it clear that it was once ornately furnished, it is now rather Spartan.

 

Faith makes her way to the fireplace, looks at the FRAMED PICTURES of Theresa and Irving. She scans the rest of the room, looking for signs, hints, clues, and not finding any. She finally finds a phone and answering machine, pushes the play button.

 

IRVING

(v.o., via answering machine)

Sweetheart? I’m sorry about what happened last night. Do you want to come over? I have something to show to you. I think it’s going to make everything all better.

 

Then, from the front of the house, there is a CRASH. Faith makes her way to the front door, looks out.

 

EXT. 1130 WALNUT LANE—TWILIGHT

 

Dru stands on the porch, holding a woman, approx. 27 years old, against the side of the house by her neck. The woman is ALEXIS FONTAINE.

 

DRUSILLA

Look what I found. A knave of hearts wanting to stop your delicious play.

 

FAITH

Damn.

(beat)

Put her down, Dru.

 

The vampire pouts but releases Alexis, who rubs her neck.

 

ALEXIS

Who are you people? What do you think you’re doing?

(pulls out cell phone)

I’m calling the police!

 

Drusilla grabs the cell phone out of Alexis’ hand, squeezes it in an iron grip, destroying it.

 

DRUSILLA

You cry out for help, but no one listens. The stars are silent.

 

FAITH

I’m Faith; this is Drusilla. We’re . . . friends of Theresa’s.

 

ALEXIS

Some friends, trying to break into her house. Did Irving send you?

 

FAITH

Irving? Who’s he? Who’re you?

(beat)

I’m not the bad guy you think I am—

 

DRUSILLA

(helpfully)

I am.

 

FAITH

—but you can’t be certain of that, so I’d recommend you answer my questions.

 

ALEXIS

I’m Alexis Fontaine.

 

FAITH

Theresa’s sister.

 

ALEXIS

Sister-in-law. I married her brother. I came over because I’ve been worried about her lately.

 

FAITH

Let’s go inside.

 

They make their way inside.

 

FAITH

(re: Drusilla)

She’ll stay outside.

 

INT. 1130 WALNUT LANE—TWILIGHT

 

Faith goes over to the picture of Theresa and Irving picks it up.

 

FAITH

This Irving?

 

ALEXIS

(nods)

Her deadbeat boyfriend. Oh, he’s rich, but good for nothing. Theresa would keep showering him with gifts, things she couldn’t possibly afford. And he wouldn’t give her a thing in return. I kept telling her to dump him, but she kept claiming that she needed him. It’s strange, she was never this dependent before. She was always so strong, so self-sufficient. And why am I telling you this?

 

FAITH

Do you have his address?

(beat)

I could always ask Drusilla out there to step in.

 

Alexis pulls out a piece of paper from her purse, scribbles something on it.

 

ALEXIS

Your enforcer?

(beat)

Take it. I don’t care what you do with it. Kill him. The world’ld be a better place for it, God knows.

(meekly)

Can I go now?

 

INT. MANSION BASEMENT

 

Julia, Irving, and Jaythor are huddled together in a shadowy room lined with curtains. Julia is dressed in a simple, loose white dress which screams “virgin sacrifice.” Even though Julia doesn’t quite qualify for that type of sacrifice.

 

IRVING

Now just wait right here, honey. Okay?

 

JULIA

No, you can’t leave me. You can’t!

 

IRVING

Don’t worry. Everything will be all right, very soon.

 

JULIA

(more persistent)

No! You can’t! I need you!

(&c.)

 

Jaythor peels Julia off of Irving, and the two leave the sobbing Julia as they leave the room. There is the sound of a KEY TURNING IN A LOCK.

 

A beat. Or two. Three even. We’re running under so far. Act One was like a minute too short. At least.

 

Then Julia, through her sobs, looks up and sniffles. Or sniffs.

 

JULIA

Irving?

(beat)

Are you there?

 

She stands up and, in a daze, makes her way to the side of the room. She slips through the curtains.

 

INT. THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CURTAINS

 

A large room, slightly dungeon-y. On the cement floor a CIRCLE is drawn in white paint. In the center of the circle (which is several yards in diameter) is a giant spider-looking demon, the ARIADNID. It raises a leg and attempts to strike Julia, but a SPHERE OF ENERGY pops up when it tries to cross over the circle. A lavender gas is emitted from the demon’s abdomen.

 

JULIA

I need you. I need . . . so much.

 

She steps into the circle, towards the spider. Within a moment one of the legs strikes her, impaling her through her abdomen.

 

JULIA

(smiling/dying)

I missed you. I . . . needed . . .

 

FADE TO BLACK

 

END OF ACT TWO

 

FADE IN

 

INT. DEMONTECH LABS—DAY

 

FRED and GENE RAINEY work together doing something technobabblish to great big white machines.

 

GENE

Now we just have to wait and see if the nexus stabilizes. If it does . . . hmm. What do you think it means if the nexus stabilizes?

 

FRED

That we have a stable nexus? We could always destabilize it, then. That’d be fun.

 

GENE

You want some coffee?

 

FRED

Yes, please.

 

Gene gets some coffee for him and for her.

 

FRED

So, Gene, you’re the head of the Dimensional Fabric Research team, right?

 

GENE

Yeah. But we don’t stand a lot on ceremony around here. Too much hierarchy gets in the way of innovation.

 

FRED

So, it’s been a week already. When are you going to introduce me to the rest of the Dimensional Fabric Research team?

 

GENE

Oh, Wilshire didn’t tell you? We are the Dimenisional Fabric Research team.

 

FRED

Just the two of us?

 

GENE

Before you started working, it was just me. I was getting lonely all down here by myself.

 

FRED

They couldn’t get anyone else?

 

GENE

Most of the scientists with our credentials work for WHRD.

 

FRED

WHRD? Wahurd?

 

GENE

Wolfram and Hart Research and Development.

 

FRED

But there are plenty of talented physicists who don’t even know about—

(realization)

Oh! Those credentials.

 

GENE

Uh-huh. Remember, Demon Tech?

 

FRED

But they’re not evil, right? Because I used to work for—well,

(trying it out)

WHRD I guess, once—and they’re evil.

 

GENE

Not evil, at least that I can tell. Ruthless, unfeeling, caring about nothing but the bottom line? Check, check, and check. But not evil.

(beat)

You have principles?

 

FRED

Huh?

 

GENE

It’s just that I respect that. Wolfram and Hart, they really know how to wine and to dine. It’s easy to become seduced. And I heard that once you work for them, you stay working for them.

 

FRED

(nods)

Standard perpetuity clause. But they sorta made an exception in my case.

 

GENE

You must really be something special.

 

FRED

(with Fred-charm)

Me? No, nothing special here. Just plain ordinary me.

 

GENE

(a mild come-on)

Maybe that’s what’s special.

 

FRED

(quickly changing the subject)

So what about you? I don’t exactly see you being seduced into the lap of luxury.

 

GENE

Once I made a mistake, thinking I could get what I wanted through sheer force.

(beat)

Well, sheer force, a million dollars’ worth of equipment, and a complex mathematical equation that was altered by a demonic cult when I wasn’t looking. Almost ended in a bad way. Or didn’t end at all, actually, depending on your perspective. But in the end, with a little help, I saw the error of my ways. Ever since, it’s been the straight and narrow for me.

 

FRED

So you’ve renounced power in favor of . . . stabilizing interdimensional rifts. And you still don’t believe that someone could do the right thing in face of overwhelming odds, with no hope of reward?

 

GENE

I said that?

 

FRED

Last week.

 

GENE

Oh. Well. Sorry to disappoint you.

(beat)

There’s a difference between doing what’s decent and being a saint, I suppose. I don’t want to make the problem any worse, but as for the other—I haven’t ever seen anyone like that.

 

FRED

(small)

I have.

 

BEEPS.

 

GENE

We did it! We stabilized the nexus! You were right, the problem was with the neutrino oscillations. Congratulations.

 

FRED

Well, we’d never have fixed the problem if you hadn’t figured out how to rig the tachyon emitter to compensate.

 

GENE

We’ll share the victory, then. We’ll call it the Burkle-Rainy effect. Or the Rainy-Burkle effect. But you come first alphabetically.

 

FRED

We’ll call this one the Rainy-Burkle effect, and then we’ll discover something else and call that the Burkle-Rainy effect. How does that sound?

 

GENE

Sounds like a plan. Now, what do we do with the interdimensional nexus?

 

INT. SLAYER CENTRAL 2—DAY

 

Faith enters her apartment. Theresa is curled up in a ball on the sofa, muttering to herself. Andrew is doing something.

 

ANDREW

I made her some tea. It seemed to calm her down some.

 

FAITH

Slip some gin into it. There’s some in the cabinet.

 

ANDREW

For you or for her?

 

FAITH

Both. So, you find out anything ‘bout that rash on the back of her neck?

 

Andrew emits a squeal of glee and runs over to his iBook.

 

ANDREW

Lots. See?

 

He logs on to the “Demons, Demons, Demons” database. Faith stands behind him, looking over his shoulder. On the left side of the screen is a line drawing of the Ariadnid. In the top right hand corner, in large bold black type, it says “ARIADNID.” Beneath that, there is a short blurb, and before that, the Mark of Ariadne (the sunburst over the circle).

 

ANDREW

It’s an Ariadnid. Spider demon. It emits a gaseous serum which elicits euphoria as well as heightened susceptibility. And, of course, the Mark is a tell-tale symptom. It’s highly addictive, even in small doses.

(beat)

Where’s Drusilla?

 

Faith moves away and slips into the kitchenette, pulling that gin she was talking about before out of the cabinet. Screw putting it in tea. She takes a gulp.

 

FAITH

Sun came up. I think I might know where they’re keeping this thing. How do I kill it?

 

ANDREW

They?

 

FAITH

Irving Reynolds and whoever he’s working with.

(re: Theresa)

Her boyfriend.

 

ANDREW

Oh.

(beat)

You’ll need a Minoan scimitar to kill it.

 

FAITH

(pulling open a kitchenette drawer)

I have a carving knife. Will that work?

(beat)

I think it came with the apartment.

 

ANDREW

It’ll require a ritual consecration.

 

FAITH

Well, can we do that?

 

ANDREW

No.

(beat, looks at Theresa)

But she can.

 

INT. SLAYER CENTRAL 2—TWILIGHT

 

An hour or two after the last scene in SC2, give or take. The preparations for a RITUAL CONSECRATION of the carving knife. Andrew, Faith, and Theresa sit in a circle, a burning brazier in the center. Faith holds the carving knife, and Theresa is still shaking, although noticeably less than before.

 

FAITH

We ready to go?

 

ANDREW

Uh-huh.

(to Theresa)

You just need to read this.

 

THERESA

I need—

 

FAITH

(attempting empathy)

I know. That’s why you have to read this. What he is doing to you, it isn’t natural. You won’t be able to break his hold over you until we can destroy the source of his power.

 

THERESA

(more persistent)

No! I need—

 

FAITH

(firmly)

No. You don’t need him. But if you don’t help us do this, you’ll never be free. We can’t do this without you. You just need to believe in yourself. Theresa, I know you can do this.

 

THERESA

(reading, her voice unsteady)

O Spirit of Minnows—

 

ANDREW

Minos.

 

Faith elbows Andrew.

 

ANDREW

(prison-whisper to Faith)

She has to do it right.

 

THERESA

(uneven)

Spirit of Minos, we call upon you to bless this scimitar.

 

ANDREW

(chanting)

Imini arna hakel. Imini arna hakel.

(&c)

 

Andrew continues to chant. Theresa looks at him uncertainly.

 

FAITH

(prison-whisper to Theresa)

Keep on reading.

 

THERESA

We call upon you to endow it with your strength, the fire of your wrath. May it become an instrument—

 

The carving knife GLOWS RED. Faith drops it with a yelp.

 

FAITH

Sorry.

 

THERESA

May it become an instrument of your justice. Let she who wields this weapon in your name be an agent against darkness, against those who would defile your Name and see your temples fall.

 

The red glow disappears. Instead of a carving knife, what is left is a wicked-looking scimitar inscribed with . . . stuff.

 

FAITH

Now how am I gonna cut the turkey at Thanksgiving?

 

INT. DEMON BAR—TWILIGHT

 

Drusilla stands at the threshold. Gingerly—just for a moment—she pierces the sky outside the bar. JOE THE BARTENDER (remember him from the premiere?) watches from behind the bar.

 

JOE

Still a few minutes until sunset, miss.

 

Drusilla nods, walks back over to the bar.

 

DRUSILLA

Just as well. She’ll be here any moment now.

 

JOE

Who?

 

Fred enters the bar, sits at the counter a couple of seats down from Drusilla.

 

JOE

Nah’dran tonic?

 

Fred nods and Joe gives her the drink. Fred takes a sip, then just stares at the drink semi-wistfully. Drusilla slips off her stool and moves down the bar to the one next to Fred.

 

DRUSILLA

(can we say “lesbian subtext”?)

Come here often?

 

FRED

(shrugs)

On my way home from work.

 

DRUSILLA

Hm.

(beat)

Such pretty hair. I see why you wear it like this. Otherwise, it’s so . . . garish.

 

She gestures toward a male “punk” vampire (forgive me if my labels are off) whose mohawk is died blue.

 

FRED

(abruptly)

What do you mean?

 

DRUSILLA

One wears a mask long enough, she becomes it. Forgets there is a monster living within.

(goes to vamp-face)

But that doesn’t change what she is. Kryfnal wasn’t the only one. There are still those in the darkness who remember the name Illyria.

 

Frillyria rises, grabs Drusilla by the throat.

 

FRED

(Illyria’s voice)

Where did you hear that name, half-breed?

 

FADE TO BLACK

 

END OF ACT THREE

 

FADE IN

 

INT. DEMON BAR—TWILIGHT

 

Where we left off. Frillyria holds vamp-faced Dru by the throat, menacingly. The bartender moves towards them, trying to intervene.

 

JOE

Now ladies, let’s just calm down. We don’t need any violence here.

 

Frillyria, with violence, throws Drusilla to the ground.

 

DRUSILLA

(returning to human face)

We can wear their faces. But I see deeper, what lies beneath. “Illyria.” That name screams out to me, deafens me. And I am not the only one who hears.

 

Frillyria turns from Drusilla, puts some money on the bar.

 

FRED

(with all of Fred’s charm)

Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Joe? Have a good night.

 

JOE

Same to you.

 

Fred leaves. Once she does, Dru puts a hand on the stool next to her and uses it to pull herself up.

 

JOE

You okay, dear? What did you do to provoke her like that?

 

DRUSILLA

A name. Her name.

(beat)

Just one little word holding everything that we are.

(beat)

Or were.

(a strained whisper)

Or ever shall be, world without end.

 

JOE

Well, you be careful, okay? That girl, she knows the Slayer. She sends her after your ass, you’ll be dust by morning. Not just any Slayer, either. You ever hear of Faith?

 

DRUSILLA

(echoing)

Faith. The Slayer.

 

Drusilla turns, looking at the bar’s door. Joe looks at his watch.

 

JOE

It’s past sunset. Just watch out.

 

DRUSILLA

Thank you.

 

Drusilla makes her way up to leave.

 

INT. SLAYER CENTRAL 2—NIGHT

 

Faith stands in the middle of her living room, practicing with the scimitar. Moving slowly but deliberately, she strikes, strikes, parry. Inhale, exhale. She spins the sword in the palm of her hand. Andrew and Theresa keep a wide berth.

 

FAITH

Good balance. Sharp blade. Almost feel like calling up B’, telling her she should get herself one of these. Only, you need someone who’s been under the thrall of the serum to consecrate it, right? Don’t know where she’d get one of those.

 

ANDREW

Maybe you should go and kill the Ariadnid first, and then worry about it?

 

Faith throws the scimitar up in the air and catches it.

 

FAITH

Sounds like a plan. You sure you don’t want to come along?

 

ANDREW

I think my expertise could be put to better use elsewhere.

 

FAITH

And I think you’re a wuss.

 

ANDREW

And proud of it.

 

FAITH

Well, wish me luck.

 

ANDREW

Good luck, Faith. And be careful.

 

FAITH

(shrugs)

I don’t come back, find a replacement. I’m sure there must be another Chosen somewhere around Cleveland.

 

ANDREW

Don’t even joke about that.

 

FAITH

I’m not the Chosen One anymore—and never was, except for a single summer the entirety of which I spent in jail. There’s always others that can guard the Hellmouth.

 

ANDREW

There’s other Slayers. But there’s only one you. As a friend, as someone who fought side-by-side—and a few stories above—you during Sunnydale’s last hoorah, I’m asking you to be careful.

 

FAITH

This is what I was born for. What I was Chosen for. And I’m not the careful type.

 

Faith leaves. Theresa walks over and stands by Andrew, looking at the empty door.

 

THERESA

Where is she going?

 

ANDREW

To kill the creature that has you under its thrall.

 

THERESA

(with alarm)

Irving?

 

ANDREW

(shaking his head, trying to calm her)

No. The Ariadnid, the spider-demon. He’s been using its serum to control you.

 

THERESA

And when she kills it, these urges, these needs will go away?

 

ANDREW

Eventually. I’m not going to lie to you, it won’t be easy. But once Faith finishes tonight, Irving won’t be able to do the things he’s done to you. Make you feel those needs and urges. You’ll be able to be free again, Theresa.

 

She doesn’t seem satisfied, but it’ll have to be enough.

 

ANDREW

Can I get you some tea? With gin in it, maybe, like she said?

 

THERESA

(nods weakly)

I’d like that.

 

EXT. MANSION EXTERIOR—NIGHT

 

Drusilla makes her way through the dark, as she comes up on a stealthy Faith. They are outside the huge barb-wire fence which surrounds the exterior.

 

DRUSILLA

Like a cat, she is. Silent and solitary.

 

FATH

Sh! How did you know I’d be here?

 

DRUSILLA

Such stupid questions from such a smart girl.

 

FAITH

You knew we would be coming here the entire time and you didn’t tell me?

 

DRUSILLA

You didn’t ask.

 

FAITH

(re: the mansion)

There’s a guard at the gate. Probably others as well.

 

DRUSILLA

Such fun.

 

She breaks away from Faith, walks up to the GUARD.

 

GUARD

Can I help you, ma’am?

 

Drusilla walks on through the gate, very close to where the guard is sitting.

 

GUARD

(getting up)

Ma’am! You can’t go in there.

 

Drusilla turns on him, and suddenly they are standing face to face. More importantly, eye-to-eye.

 

DRUSILLA

Be in me.

 

The guard freezes. Faith makes her way up, stands behind Dru and looks at the frozen guard.

 

FAITH

That’s convenient.

 

Drusilla places her index finger on the guard’s forehead, between his two eyes, and gives a gentle push. He topples over, his body as firm and erect as a board.

 

DRUSILLA

Isn’t it, though?

 

The two make their way through the grounds.

 

FAITH

You know where they keeping this giant spider-thing?

 

DRUSILLA

Inside.

 

FAITH

Yeah. Sorta figured out that part on my own.

(beat)

S’not going to be easy getting inside.

 

A flashlight beam intrudes.

 

GUARD #2

Hold it right there!

 

FAITH

Just got harder.

 

Drusilla flips into action mode (but not vamp face), disarming one of the guards even as she spars with another.

 

FAITH

Wait! They’re human. Don’t—

 

Drusilla snaps a guard’s neck.

 

FAITH

(seeing what Dru has done)

. . . kill them.

 

Faith joins the fray. There’s probably three or four security guards up against Dru and Faith. They don’t stand a chance, but they are armed, and could thus do some damage to Faith.

 

More fighting. I’m still waiting for them to send that woman over to choreograph the fight scenes. While we’re at it, I’m also still waiting for them to send the actors over to do the rest of the filming. Strange how that is.

 

One of the guards, who has somehow fallen on the ground, holds his gun out in front of him. We’ll call him #3.

 

GUARD #3

Don’t come any closer! Or I’ll shoot.

 

DRUSILLA

Why don’t you give me that before you hurt someone with it?

 

Drusilla comes closer. True to his promise, he shoots. The bullet hits her in her left shoulder. She recoils (there’s not that much mass there), but keeps on coming.

 

INT. MANSION BATHROOM—NIGHT

 

Irving is all neat and clean. He takes a bottle of cologne from the medicine cabinet, applies it to his neck and wrists and all the places men put cologne. (Seeing as how I’m a guy, should I feel ashamed not to know this?) Humming a sprightly little tune (it’s always more menacing when the bad guys hum or whistles), he picks up a WHITE DRESS which was on a hanger nearby—it’s one of those “Virgin Sacrifice” dresses Julia was wearing earlier when she, well, you know. It doesn’t look like it’s cut to fit him. He walks out into the hall.

 

INT. MANSION BEDROOM—NIGHT

 

Irving enters the bedroom from the hall with the dress in tow.

 

IRVING

I just need you to put this on, okay?

 

It’s Theresa who sits on the bed. Uh-oh. That’s not a good sign. She stays sitting on the bed, although it is clearly only an act of will that keeps her from throwing herself against Irving in physical contact as a result of her addiction.

 

THERESA

(persistent)

You don’t understand. She’s coming here. She wants to kill something. Some spider or something.

 

IRVING

Who?

 

THERSA

She said her name was Faith.

 

IRVING

The Slayer?

 

THERESA

I don’t know. But they had me read me something about Minos or somebody—

 

IRVING

They consecrated a Minoan scimitar.

(beat)

Did she say anything else? Do you know when they’re coming?

 

BUZZER. Voice.

 

JAYTHOR (o.s.)

Irving? We’re having a little . . . altercation outside, it seems.

 

IRVING

It’s the Slayer. I’ll be right there.

(to Theresa)

Just put the dress on, okay, honey? Soon everything will be all right. I’ll take care of it.

 

He hangs the dress up, then exits. Theresa gets up off the bed and walks over to it. She examines it for a moment, then begins to take off her shirt.

 

FADE TO BLACK

 

END OF SHOW