Devondrede

This is a story about a distant royal named Vencentian Halivan Devondrede, Earl of Masterdam. He is a scoundrel, womanizer and slothful man on his first quest. In his effort to avoid being married to the princess of his mother’s choosing, he faces death, zombies, dragons.

 Britt came running across the sand and yelled at me calling me a fool. She was desperately searching around to see if anyone was looking or was there. I told her I would not let a kingdom come in the way of the quest. Still search she looked at me confused and asked me, “You fool! do you not wonder why we avoided this oasis!… Kingdom? what are you talking about?” I told her about pulling a sword and becoming a king. Like King Arthur. Britt looked even more confused thinking about King Arthur and what that has to do with this. Then I told her about the lady of the lake giving him the sword. She looked me directly in the eye and said, “THAT is no lady.” She then told me to run it is too late for talk, when she notice the bubbling spring. I looked at the spring knowing the outcome. Britt began to run across the sand demanding I do the same. I called out to her and said I wouldn’t accept a throne.

 Just then she came up out the spring and spoke in a mans sweet melodious voice and asked, “Who removed the sword.” After looking closer it was not a beautiful LADY of any lake, it was an ugly man in a black evening gown, fishnet stocking and shiny red high-heeled shoes. The skin on his face was rotting and pale with long flowing red hair on his head but he had the best manicure I had ever seen. I was just standing there holding the sword and in shock of the sight to behold, thinking there‘s no place like home. There’s no place like…. “Drop the sword and RUN,” Britt pleaded. She was standing on the edge of the oasis watching but not daring to come back I just couldn’t bring myself to move. The figure came closer to me. Examined me like I was a plump lamb for the barbeque and said sweetly and calmly, “Will you be my lover or will you duel. I see you have accepted my offering of love or war. Which shall it be?” Well, I considered my options the pros and cons then made a well thought out decision… TO RUN LIKE HELL. But as I approached the edge of the oasis I hit an invisible wall. I bounced off and fell to the ground. I was unable to cross to the desert sand. He looked longingly into my eyes(I looked fearfully into his); a tear drop fell (I felt tears welling in mine) and he said… “I guess that’s war.” He fixed his ruby-red lipstick, raised a large matching sword from the water and began the charge. I was very grateful for Hestorn’s training. I almost died several times during the battle. I must say it had to have been an amusing battle to watch, a man in a dress and high-heels beating the stuffing out of me. I almost conceded at one point (I use to say I’d try anything once, but a dead man? I thank god I didn’t have to make that choice) then I saw a coconut behind him and forced him back and he fell over it and broke his shoe then I placed my sword to his throat. He began to laugh, and then handed me his sword. He said I was the first to conquer him. He stood up and adjusted his bra and stockings, removed the broken shoe with a seducing smile and said that I could have both swords as memento of his everlasting affection for me. He smiled a large grin. Laughed a little and his spirit returned to an eternity of rest in the spring from which he came.....