Poetry

Bi or not?

How do u know if you've turned or not,
when people think you have
or when your experimenting and caught?

Is it when your confused and dont know what to do
when your scared and alone without someone to talk to...

What do you do when you've realized
your scared to say what you need to
your fear makes you paralyzed
unknowing of what people around you will do...

Andrew Kurtz

i said i'd never ditch you
you said you'd do the same
i didn't meen to hurt you
i hope you feel no pain.

your are my one and only brother
the one i truly love
the one i will always care about
my angel from above.

Untitled
*This one was never finished so i say
that it is just a quote*

Slit our wrists and watch it bleed
Receiving the pain we want and need

Untitled

I wish I could tell you everything..
Even though it seems I have..
There seems to be something more..
Something I cant find.
There is something inside
Eating me alive
I cant figure it out..
Im loosing my mind..
I wish I could tear my heart
Away from my body
And let it die slowly
So love couldn't happen
Ever again.

Untitled

Breathless hopeless
Lying dying
On the floor pale as the moon
Still as a rock
Cold as the snow
Starring glaring into
The night
Seeing faces watching
My every movement
Yet I am
Not
Moving at
All.
Waiting for the approaching
Death.
No breathing happends
Blood stilling, lungs bruising
Hurting needing air
Why should they get any?
Lifes a bitch and not very fair..

he is...

He's my guardian angel,
But doesn't know it…
He's my lover,
But cannot feel it…
He's my need's and wants put in to one,
But will never realize it…
I wish for him to come to me,
But it will only occur in a dream...
Which doesn't happen a lot…
I'm lost and confused,
With no one to reach out to…
I'm alone and without,
Someone to turn to…

I wish for him to put me out of misery,
To place me in my wishful happiness…
So I can suffer no more…

I'm his watcher when he sleeps,
I'm his listener when he speaks,
I'm the lost wonderer…
Wanting to be free…
From my love-locked misery…

Untitled

I wish these emotions would go a stray
I wish that I could just fall away
Just like the sun going down at the end of every day.

The sun is shining for a little while
Love has been running in me for what seems like a mile
But it goes a way as quick as a frown turns into a smile.

things to say
1:flirt with my once more
commit my suicide for me..

2:My death will be
when you chose
where you heart belongs

Thoughts Unheard

I miss your hugs
I miss your smile
I miss your hot
And sexy style

I want your love
I want your kiss
I want you to feel
My state of bliss

Your mine and
I am always yours
Even when your heart
Has closed its doors

I want to share your
Drink
It's a good idea I
Think

A nice cold night
A bench for me and you
Me looking in your eyes
You noticing mine are blue

I am warm and you are
Cold
Even though you ignore it, pretending
To be bold
I want you to hold me
I want to feel your loving
Caress

I want to swim
I want to fly
Without your love
I begin to cry

I think we'd be the
Perfect match
I know this though
You are the perfect
Catch

I wish your were
Here beside me
I wish you could take
Away all my fears
Bring joy into my life
By appearing in a dream
Of mine

My Angel

Angel of mine flying
So high in the bright blue sky.
Never falling coming down
To watch over me and my
Friends.
Guardian angel never leaving
My side.
Crying myself to sleep
You lay beside me
Protecting me from having bad dreams
and night terrors.
You guide me in the tight direction
Knowing when I've done wrong
Helping me to change my decision.
I love you my angel
I feel you here now
Now I know I am safe.
I wish for you to never leave.
I wish to see you now.
Take me flying with you
To ease my soul and pain.
Let me go now free as the
Light of day.
As I lay here dying in my hospital bed
All I see is you
I lay here and finally passing away in may.

Me

Socially an outcast
Consciously a bitch
Personally unsatisfied
With low self esteem

Being made fun of
Always all the time…
Never being left alone
Unless you leave yourself
Enabling yourself to cry
Reliving the pain
Unless cuts can appear unnoticed
For no one to see
Wishing I could be happy
With me.

june 16,05

Happiness fills me
as we begin to talk
to we still have a chance
to dance to sing to rock.

It was hard
but im ok
To know im healing slow.
its ok to feel sad
as i bow my head and go.

Sadness fills me
as i think of much pain
i caused.
Your anxienty and sickness
the crying tremor
i am awed.

You are the one and only
that i think of true
one who has so mch value
in my eyes of grey-blue.

.\./.

gun to my head
my time is met
time for my final
tear to shed..

My Secret

Your on my mind
All the time
Never giving me a
Truly satisfying
Rest.

You wonder around
All daylong
Searching my thoughts
To find your place
Where you fit
Best.

You are my secret
You are my test
To see if I'm ready
To see if I'm the one
For the person you see best.

Though my secret
Something I must
Hide,
One day I will be lost
In confusion,
Not knowing which
Side.

You stir me up
Unable to let go
Making me restless
Not letting me know.

Fitting in

So pale so thin
this is what happends when you try to fit in.

You try so hard
You get it right
But all you can say is
I don't feel comfortable or right.

Short of breath
Felling sick
Feeling fat
But really a stick.

Finding a blade
Putting it to the skin
Spinning now again and again.

Depression obsession of looks
Pounding at your head
Make you fall to the floor.

If this is what being popular means, Who would want more?

Not Pretty

Im not pretty
Don't make it seem like im said to be

I was said im not to many times
For what you say to be true

I've been put so low down
That I cannot be brought up again

And I've wasted
My time trying to believe

That what you say just might
Have truth

But then I remember
All those sad times

I remember
Every moment I wanted but couldn't cry

And I wish
That I could see the truth

And I wish
That I could be beautiful

But I know now
What I wish will never happen for me

Lost

Lost in this darkness filling my heart
You were the last thing it felt
The last it knew of love
Of friendship

Lost to the darkness
Lost to the light
Lost in a cave
Out of my sight

Lost I was
Lost I am
Lost to my heart which is in your hand

I am scared
I am depressed
I am lost in sorrow
I keep wondering to myself will I see you tomorrow

And if I do
I will be glad
To see you

Lost in sorrow
Cant keep waiting on
Tomorrow

I am lost in sorrow
Sorrow

Death has turned into a pleasant thought
Life has gone to the death of my thoughts
To me there is nothing
To be returned

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