Phil's Xmas Bonus

 

First of all, I must apologise for the impersonal nature of this ‘round robin’.  When you’re as busy as me, it’s sometimes difficult to write to friends face-to-face.  Or even to email.  Because, when you think about it, every time I press ‘send’, that’s another second that I’m not working.  Time is money and all that.

 

Anyway, I knew you’d be keen to catch up on news in the Woodford household, so thought I’d summarise 2006 on my bonus site.

 

I think the major themes of the year broadly fall into three categories:  holidays, staffing problems and educational achievement.  It’s probably best that I take each in turn.

 

Travel issues were very dominant in the holiday season.  How, exactly, do you transport two adults, five kids, a golden retriever and a nanny from the top of a Swiss mountain to the Tuscan countryside?  As the crow flies, it’s no distance at all, but when you’re restricted to a couple of 4x4s and have to negotiate three different language zones, it’s no joke, believe me.  Mrs W was brilliant, as she took one of the kids herself, meaning that Valeska only had four to cope with. 

 

We stopped off at Lugano for a pizza and were beginning to think that everything was going to work out fine, when Gordon Brown started barking frenetically and throwing up over the restaurant floor.  Fourteen is quite old for a retriever, I suppose, but he’s never had any problems with altitude adjustment before.  So, the search was on for an English-speaking vet.  Eventually we tracked one down by the lake, but his housekeeper told us that it was siesta time.  We might technically still have been in Switzerland, but this old boy was operating strictly to la tempo italiano.  

 

Big problem.  We’d promised the agents of the villa in Lucca that we’d be there at 8pm, no fail.  And could I get a signal on the Blackberry?  Communication wise, it was like we were in the third world.  I think it’s best that I gloss over the details of the rest of the trip.  Suffice to say that the Toyota Landcruiser needed an industrial clean when we got back to London.  And Gordon has since been put to sleep.  It was the kindest thing to do. 

 

I mentioned staff earlier and I think there really is nothing trickier than trying to manage the team while you’re both already doing a full-time job.  To be fair, Valeska has been brilliant.  The kids were getting fed up with the high turnover of nannies, so it’s great to have someone who’s prepared to stay more than six weeks.  The problem is her relationship with Mrs Court.  Whenever there’s cleaning to be done, Valeska has to move the kids out of the way.  You do have to ask yourself what the point of the playroom extension actually is, if the kids are forbidden to play there!   The other thing is that Mrs Court has an aversion to the string of young men that Valeska seems to attract.  I lose track of them.  Casmir?  Casimir?  That guy, Jezny, who always dragged his muddy boots over Mrs Court’s clean floor.   Very messy, in every sense.

 

Thankfully, the kids themselves are doing very well at school.  Although we can’t usually make the parents’ evenings, I’ve set up an extranet where the teachers can post comments and observations.  If there are any issues that need resolving, I think a quick email is always the best way of sorting things.  Like that time that Poppy only got a B in her French homework.  It was clear that the teacher didn’t really understand the use of the past historic and I was able to get the Head to amend the grade.

 

Hard to believe another year has come to an end already.  I look forward to reading your own news, but if you’re able to email a summary, that’s probably best.  I’m in Toronto until mid-January, but will pick it up on my Blackberry.

 

All the best

 

Phil