Barking Mad

PUP

We had bought all the manuals, studied all the breeds
And settled on the one we thought would satisfy our needs.
He was so appealing, great brown eyes and gentle mouth,
We could not have found a nicer pup if we’d searched from north to south.
So, in the car on our way home, we were so full of beans
Until he quite disgraced himself and piddled down my jeans.
“Excitement” we so fondly said “ And he can be excused.”
(Though I must admit my warm wet legs felt personally abused)
He howled and howled so piteously as we went into the house’
“It’s strange at first. He’ll settle down. Be quiet as a mouse!”
Famous last words! He howled all day and howled all night,
Chewed his brand new basket and put the cat to flight.
When at last he quietened down, came the time to potty train
But he refused to put a paw outside in the slightest drop of rain.
He mangled all the furniture-‘twas one of his great joys
And treated with utmost contempt his heap of nice new toys!
We steam cleaned all the carpets, reinforced the chewed up chairs
And even put a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs
Which he soon learned to negotiate-and that was lots of fun
(Mind you, we were getting very fit as he kept us on the run)
The vet thought he gorgeous with his soulful pleading eyes.
So we didn’t tell her “cutie pie” was a demon in disguise!
We took him to dog training school but that soon came to nought
For he fancied ALL the lady dogs, with the others he just fought!
But now we’ve weathered every storm and thrown away the books,
He’s no longer misbehaving nor relying on his looks
For admiration, when our friends come round to call
And to our surprise, he IS the dog we wanted, after all

© Ann Shuttleworth