Passion4purity

Here are some reasons that I don't believe in dating. Listed below are some dangers with the dating system in general.

•  People date in order to have a good time right now. Many times they're not actually planning to get married. This is the crucial point: They are not planning long term commitment. But why date and get attached to someone who is not going to be your life partner? Dating is thinking about fun now rather than loyalty to your one lifelong partner and the joy of the best marriage later. In other words, the world's way is "now oriented" God's way is "Future oriented". 
• Most young people plan to date a number of individuals in order to get to know a variety of people and then pick the best one to marry. What they fail to realize is that the process that forms bonds begins with the very first relationship. Then the break up process is very painful. In other words, the world's way involves the pain of separation. God's way involves no separation.
• Much of the dating we see today is "me oriented" ( to bring me security, enjoyment, fulfillment, etc.) and often leaves hurt and pain in the lives of others. True love always puts others first and focuses on their needs. In other words, the world's way is to get, God's way is always to give.
• People start dating long before marriage. Just think of all the "dating" or ( really going out ) that happens even in elementary or middle school. Boys and girls date because it's a thrill or a tempting experiment-not because they are committed to this person. In other words, the world's way is for pleasure. God's way is for commitment.
  
• The Bible does not give any positive examples even close to dating. In our modern world, everyone is comfortable with the dating system simply because it's what everyone does. In other words, the world's way is built on human thinking, tradition, tradition, and culture. God's way is always based on the Word of God-Biblical standards, principles, and goals.
• People date, planning to break up if things don't work out. This seems like a practice for divorce not marriage! In other words, the world's way is temporary. God's way is permanent.

A good way to sum up this list would be to say that dating, as we know it in America, tends to follow the patterns of the flesh(our earthly self which is weak and naturally sinful). But our goal is to follow God's way-the pattern of the Spirit. This rivalry between the flesh and the spirit is a basic them that is evident throughout Scripture. Dating is a good example of this rivalry. "This I say then, walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the Flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary the one to the other:so that ye cannot do the things that ye would." (Galatians 5:16-17)                                      

                    But how will I get to know someone?

Well, you're probably acquainted with  dozens of guys whom you are sure you wouldn't ever in a million years marry them! And you know what? U didn't even have to date them to find that out! You could form friendships with people just by observing them at church, family get-together, school, activities or just by working with them in ministry opportunities. When the right one comes. You will know either through your parents (your earthly authorities) or yourself. It is essential to remember that there is no reason to cultivate a romantic relationship for any other purposes than the objective of marriage. Before I begin any serious relationship with any young man. I will have to be pretty sure  that it is God's will 4 a future marriage which is by prayers,  reading His Word, and through my authorities. As I have said before; people date and then choose the best one to marry and often bring scars into their marriage. Ever since I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and personal Saviour. I have committed myself, my whole life to Him; to trust, and obey Him in any circumstances. To follow Him in whatever I do, say, and even how I think. Dating is like I don't trust that He will bring the right person into my life. The He needs  my help in finding a husband 4 me. When us Christians say we are dating, we are identifying with the world and culture. And we are not supposed to identify with the world and culture but with the Bible and our Lord.

7 Bible principles violated by Christian dating.

1. Dating violates Biblical command and principles.
7 Bible Truths violated by Christian Dating.
-Dating follows no Biblical pattern.
-Dating is a threat to emotional stability.
-Dating is a threat to spiritual growth.
-Dating is a threat to spiritual fellowship.
-Dating is a threat to future happiness.
-Dating is an undesirable threat to purity and virginity. As in the  followings:
unwanted pregnancies, hurry-up weddings, adoption decision, abortion temptations, birth control hazards, loss of reputation, cycles of temptations, and AIDS.

"For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy; for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ." -2 Corinthians 11:2
The meaning of this verse is...
I am anxious that your love should be for Christ alone, just as a pure maiden saves her love for one man alone."

Immoral purity has gone from 12% in 1855 to 80% to 90% now. Government spends millions of dollars treating the case instead of the cause.
Dating is like an idol. Courtship should be built on the Biblical pattern on the espousal or betrothal in order to work properly. Espoused - Matthew 1:18, betrothed - Deut. 20:17.

4 principles to make a wise choice in relation to the desire to have a mate or to get married.
1. Stay "asleep" to "go to sleep" in relation to the desire to have a mate or to get married.
2. Wake up with the leadership of God given authority figures.
3. Make a wise decision as much apart from emotion as possible to avoid defrauding.
4. Establish a secure relationship that includes physical purity and the winning of the lady's heart.

Don't let your heart run around. Here's how to keep a whole pure heart.

1. Memorize and meditate on key scriptures that will build you in this area. Forget your own desires and focus on serving the Lord. Let the Lord give you the desires to have. _Psalm 37:25-26.

2. Think every day how exciting it will be to give your whole heart to your mate.
( That's what I do when I have temptations when girls are flirting around and talking about boys and everything. I mean, one day, before the altar, I could look into my to be husbands eyes and know that I have done everything to save my heart and my body for him and only him. That never had I given wasted endless thoughts on other boys and  just dwelling on dreams of others, that I have saved EVERYTHING. How precious is that?)

Ideas that can help you:

Be single minded while you're single.
Be friendly to all, faithful to one, Lord Jesus.
Friendly to all but saving special friendship for the one who you will marry.
You can not be a special friend to one (opposite sex. not including your relations). without your heart moving toward them. And it also ruins your friendship with those people out in your future. (Because your spouse would not approve of you having such a special best friends who's a girl. She would want all your attention and so instead of your spouse forming a good friendship with your friends. it will ruin it.)
Give attention to everyone but affection for one.
Be careful about the matter of defrauding.-1 Thes. 4:6 ( When a girl flirts with a guy and gives that look, or just walks over and sort of touches him on the shoulder slightly-that's defrauding. She's leading that person to think that she has something to offer him.)
If we as brothers and sisters in Christ tempt each other by the way we dress, or walk, or talk, or look, we are defrauding each other. That's why it's dangerous to touch because it can arouse passions and kindle a wrong fire.

4. When tempted, pray for your future mate.( I do that a lot when I have wrong thought that arise in me. I pray that he will be able to keep his whole heart and that he will grow in the Lord and also keep himself pure).

5. Get a vision bigger than yourself that will motivate you to give a period of time to do God's work.

 Satan, who is our enemy will try hard to keep us from the blessings found in working together with our parents. Here are two difficult obstacles he places in our way.

 1. Damaged Relationships

Satan seeks to destroy our relationship with our parent by stirring up bitterness, anger, and rebellion. Obviously, this will be a huge hindrance to the strong, healthy, working relationship that is needed in order for parents and children to be able to freely discuss important topics like marriage. That is why it's essential to clear up any past offenses and to work on being close to our parents now.

2. Cultural Influence
   The world is working against us. The world is telling us to do things the opposite of the Biblical way, to be independent from our parents, and to make our own decisions. Therefore, we most realize that this is just another area in which we as Christians need to be willing to stand alone be following God's way and honoring our parents.

                  Benefits to Parental Involvement
1. Wisdom and caution from someone older and wiser-who loves you and has your very best interests in mind
2. Valuable insight in evaluating a young man's character
3. Help in protecting emotions
4. Caution when you're headed in a wrong direction or not aware of danger
5. Accountability
6. Help in discerning the right steps and the right timing
7. Freedom that comes from knowing God will work through earthly authorities.

Since I have had made a commitment  to be pure, I realize that it's really hard to keep your emotional purity when dating. When you just focus on God, you can see that it will turn out right. Dating by yourself to find the right partner is not letting God Himself bring that person to you. He's the great God! He can do anything. You might call it a arrange marriage, well, in a way it is since God is the One arranging who I marry, but isn't that awesome! The almighty God  who knows everything and everyone,  who can bring the right person to you at the right time!

Hope some of this helped you in some ways!

Love & Blessings,

Beth

Some are excerts from the book, "Before you meet Prince Charming", by Sarah Mally.