Coon Dogs, Out Houses and Corn Cob Wine

By Gale Sparks Redneck/ Renaissance Man

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Landmine Removal

Posted by pappagale at 01:42 PM on July 23, 2008 Comments comments (0)
    I know that living a secluded life does have its bonuses as well as drawbacks...But, this just ain't right. My wife came home from work last night complaining that someone had ran over a polecat and the whole ridge stunk. Of course I thought it was up on the road nearly a half a mile from the house and it would drift off by morning.
   Today, as I do every Wednesday morning, I drank my coffee gathered up the garbage and stacked it on the back rack of the Kamikazi to carry up to the main road for pick up. And as always I started down from Starvation Ridge balls to the wall...until fifty feet down from the house lay the splattered skunk. Slamming on the brakes, skidding sideways, and being hit from  behind by flying the bags of garbage, I avoided rerunning over the black and white bomb.
    After finishng the garbage run, I went to the barn and picked up a spade and an old feed sack. I really hate smelling polecat first thing in the morning. I went back to the the sight of the accident and carefully slid the spade through the gravels under the dead critter while propping the sack open with the toe of my boot. When I successfully had the business end safely in the tote I dropped the spade lifted the sack and in one swift movement managed to drop the skunk in the bag and twist the end shut.
    I held the mine carefully away from me and the ATV as I started the four wheeler one handed, put it in gear and began the slow careful ride down the back logging road at a snails pace, until I got the contaminated feed sack nearly a mile from the house. I had to strip out by the barn, reshower...Listermint as a rinse in your beard and hair does help in not offending others, even though your own olfactories may still be singed and telling you otherwise.
 
 

More Insurance Hassle

Posted by pappagale at 10:07 PM on February 17, 2007 Comments comments (1)

  Thursday evening, I once a again a call from  the pharmacy division of the insurance company.
They snail mailed the rejection for a new prescrition to my doctor! Since when did insurance companies become computer illiterate?
  The representative one on of the typical diverted calls that went to Bali, Katmandu, od Skrilanka. Which is another way of adding to my frustration I tend to get postal when I am trying to argue with someone and they barely have a grasp of the English.
   I threatened to jump off of a bluff up on Mont Eagle and leave note for my family sue the fire out of them for their neglect. I finished my conversation by letting him know I was of the opinion that his company sucked, I then calmly told him I had the address of the company in Texas and has occasionally suffered from postal episodes and finished by admitting I was very P.Oed and slammed the button on the portable phone.
  Today I once again recieved a call from the INSURANCE COMPANY! A very polite young man called simply to verify my mailing address as they were sending my anti-anxiety prescription. With that we curdiously hung up.
  A second later he returned the call and hesitantly stated he had a side note that he was to ask for a last name verification, the Bali boy had noted in my file that I was Veripst!
  I've decided I need a vanity plate "VERIPST" let the world figure it out!

What Can I Say

Posted by pappagale at 02:49 AM on February 08, 2007 Comments comments (1)

   What can I say, it seems like we all pay for the circumstances we choose along our own pathway. I have always lived my life my way, no concern for the circumsances that it may bear on the ones that I love.
    I realize that many may feel that my actions as far as the choices I have choosen may have been considered self centered or selfish. In my minds eye I only hold myself accountable for marching to the beat of a drummer that only I can hear.
   I have followed my path my way and the way I felt I was meant to travel through life. I have paid many times over for the path I have followed but still I have no regrets, I feel I have accomplished what most people only dream of. It is true that physically my body has paid the price for the treachorous turns and pitfalls I have followed but, I can honestly sat I don't regret anything I have done during my life.
   There is very little that I can say I have tried in my life and the memories that I have experinced have been worth every bit of the pain my body suffers now. Not many can sit back and close their eyes and reminsce about the many things that I have experinced and smile in rememberance.
   I have always followed my heart and desire to see what was on the other side and enjoyed every minute. The only regret I have is that now the physical adventure is over.

Posted by pappagale at 09:48 AM on February 03, 2007 Comments comments (1)
   Once again oe of my grands has managed to surprise, astound, and swell her grandparents with pride. Yesterday I once again had to take the two hour drive to Nashville for more tests, not for my heart but my emphysema.
    My pulmonoligist is located at the Vanderbilt University
Research Hospital, a teaching hospital known nationwide for its cancerresearch among other things.The series of coincidences was astounding in itself, firstly, our
girls were out of school for the day do to one of our pop up snow
storms. Which meant that they were going to have to ride with us.
   My appointment for my first test was at 8:00AM which meant that wehad to leave at 6:00, actually we left earlier due to the weather.When we were about to walk out the door, Kelsey came out of her roomlugging a bulging shopping bag.I don't mean a plastic Wal-Mart bag,it was a full grown shopping bag toting handles and all. In the bag that little bit was almost dragging out of her room were stuffed animals. I have no idea how many critters were in the bag but,I do kow the bag was full.
   Kelsey had decided that she wanted to give the stuffed animals tothe kids in Vanderbilt's Childrens Hospital to the kids that are
cancer patients and burn victims. I don't know if this was a spur of the moment decision that our little girl had made since she had a day off or if it was something that had been on her mind for awhile. I feel that this was her business and thought best not to pry.
    But I know that once again I was surprised and full of pride by one of the girls and their selflessness towards others. The animals that Kelsey donated weren't old used animals, many she had just gotten for Christmas and others were from a collection that she had kept well cared for and cherished.
    This was told second hand by my wife but the toys were very much appreciated by the volunteer that acctepted the collection to hand out to the children. Why is it that all we ever hear of today is the horrific things that our young people have done. While these quiet little deeds of humanity done by our young seem to pass unnoticed?
Pappa


Blasted Bunny Humpin' Diet

Posted by pappagale at 12:53 AM on January 30, 2007 Comments comments (1)

   I can't believe it has come down to this and I can't I am even making this confession, I have resorted to a late night snack of a blasted fresh garden salad.

   After a steady diet over the last twenty years of summer sausage, cheddar cheese, crackers and beer. Just as often I would dine on vienna sausage and Ritz or a can of sardines.

  Now after a heart attack and my wife listening in over a phone call from a cardiac therapist, I am eating bunny humping garden salads and chained to my recliner until further notice.

Cyber Friends

Posted by pappagale at 11:17 AM on January 20, 2007 Comments comments (2)
  If there is one thing that I can defintively state that I have learned this week it is never take any friendship lightly. It doesn't matter if it is the friend next door or someone from the internet that you have never met,(eye ball to eye ball).
   Not looking someone in the face never henders or restricts a friendship or an entire family from forming across a country. We share coffee some mornings and bid the others goodnight.
   The actual closeness of this family didn't really strike home until this last week. I was admitted to the cardiac wing of a hospital after suffering a heartattack.
    My family although it be my adopted cyber family became concerned when I hadn't posted in a couple of days. I didn't realize I had never bothered to give anyone my phone number. One of my family took it upon herself to call across the state of Tennessee and actual succeeded in finding my number.
   Unfortunately everyone at our house was with me at the hospital and we missed the call. I found the message on our answering machine just last night. I felt guilt that none of my family had listed to the message to ease their concern.
   It went on to show me the depth of a family that is able to stretch from one ocean across our country to the other and the love and concern is certainly divided equally, almost as if the love has been sprinkled from a salt shaker across the U.S. and each grain is lit up by a keyboard.
 Pappa Gale

It Happens

Posted by pappagale at 07:46 PM on January 19, 2007 Comments comments (0)

  If you missed my bloggin' I'm sorry, it happens.
A couple of Mondays ago I was back on Haint Ridge loading firewood in the truck. I was struck in the chest with a strange but yet kind of familiar smack in the chest.
  It was intense enough that it put me on the ground, I laid there on the ridge behind our house thinking is it wasn't it. Thirty minutes later after sitting up and catching my breath I decided it wasn't.
  I got up finished loading the rest of the wood and driving back to the house, letting the thought of the chest pain slip from my mind as I climbed the ridge back up to our house.
   The following Sunday morning a pain in my chest returned, not as intense but, more consistent. In the back of my mind I remembered this pain and yet I stubbornly refused to admit it.
    The next morning the pain was still with me as severe as the day before. I finally fell into the admittance that once again I was experiencing another heart attack.
    After admition into the cardiac unit it was determined that I did indeed have two blockages, one that the cardiologist was able to destroy with angioplasty and the other was taken care of with my second stent.
    Be patient I'll be back.

Boomerangs

Posted by pappagale at 08:18 PM on January 13, 2007 Comments comments (1)

  How many of y'all ever had a boomerang as a toy when you were a kid? Did it ever come back when you threw it? I remember the wooden boomerang my folks had got me when I was around twelve. I must have spent nearly two weeks throwing that bent piece of wood up in the air only to walk across the yard to pick it up and try again.
   It was out of shear determination to get the boomerang to fly back to me just once that kept me trying day after day throwing the thing and walking across the yard picking it up time after time only to throw and walk.
   One Sunday afternoon I went out in the yard after linch to continue throwing my stick in the yard and walking to pick it up. I threw the boomerang for what I considered one of the final throws for the day it flew directly into the sun.
   I don't know to this day if it was my guardian angel, instinct, or fear but, I hit the ground. As soon as I hit the ground I heard a whiring and a resounding thud.
  After I stood and turned around, there buried around two feet behind me was the boomerang one end buried nearly up to apex into the ground. I took the boomerang into my room hung it on the wall where it stayed after the day of my accomplishment to the day I left home.
  Trust your instincts; Pappa Gale

Freaking Insurance Companies

Posted by pappagale at 12:23 AM on January 10, 2007 Comments comments (2)

     After spending an entire day sitting on the holding position on the telephone or getting passed around among various representatives of our health insurance companies I don't feel any closer to having my perscriptions resurrected than I did last week.
    My theory is that they hope that you will give up after being passed around a half dozen times or that there mat be an outside chance that they will get you upset enough that if you are a hypertension patient you may possibly raise your blood pressure enough that you will stroke out while on hold.
    It has gotten to the point that yearly the insurance companies find a way to alter your coverage to make it difficult getting the preapproval for surgery or to get your prescriptions straightened aroud before the change s are made once again the next year.
   Is the suicide rate among the disabled and defirm? Has anyone ever seen about getting a federal grant to do a study to see if there maybe a correlation between suicides and the aggravation caused by the insurance companies!?

Hainted Ridge (the last time?)

Posted by pappagale at 04:32 PM on December 30, 2006 Comments comments (2)
    Ok, this was the last time I cut firewood on this ridge, I don't care if it is another half a mile off the road. I have had enough, yesterday broke me.
    I did make it to the top of the ridge, no problem,except... for the flat tire I didn't realize I had gotten when I was climbing the trail and must have clipped a stop or rock edge.
    I didn't notice the flat until I was finished getting the truck heaping full of wood, and was starting to go back to the house. I decided to hurry a little, until...I got stuck in the wet spring. Thr Toyota sunk in the spring all of the way up to the rear hub.
    Determined I wasn't about to drag my cell phine out and call for help, I spent nearly thirty minutes sacrificing fire wood stuffed under the right rear tire along with a few rocks to slowy ease the truck in a rocking motion back and forth finally getting the truck out of the spring in reverse.
    I eased the truck along the very edge of the bluff keeping as far from the spring as possible but not so close I would fall off the ridge. I lost my chain saw, somehow it fell out of my truck climbing the logging road home up Starvation Ridge.
    Yeah, I found it, I can only guess that it must have got hooked on a branch and flung out. I give up.
Pappa Gale


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