" I don't need comforting; I need (me and my situation) to be understood."
What it feels like when a loved one is sectioned.
http://www.pamshouse.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/what_it_feels_like_when_a_loved.htm
Comments below taken from members of carers forum UK.
1. “I made many mistakes which would never have happened had I understood Schizophrenia” GW
2. “ my son has been having talking therapy for 6 months and the difference is encouraging to say the
least but this is after 16 years”
3. “When medications change - or the timing is not adhered to, people sometimes pass
out - my 70+ year old Dad 'pinged' his back, picking up my brother from the stairs
where he had collapsed due to this”.
4. "The unpredictability of moods, the simmering of potential violence, is a constant
background to a MH carer”.
5. Anxiety: even when they seem well, there's a gnawing worry at the back of your mind
6. Anxiety: You get so super-sensitive to the little signals that it's like sleeping with one eye open
and one leg out of bed.
7.”There is no possibility of respite, because even though there are financing mechanisms, there is no-one
to look after the MH patient (or the patient won’t agree to anyone doing it! “
8. From a professional: In my current position the main thing that carers want is an understanding of the illness,
its symptoms, signs of relapse, effects of medication etc. They still do want information about other things and
emotional support as above but their priorities are different.
9. “I think my story alone can identify the detrimental effects not listening to or working with the carer can have, not only
on the patient but the whole family and relationships within. Apart from my sanity, it nearly cost me my marriage”
10. “For first time in 4/5 years I was pulled to the ground by the hair as he muttered "voices are coming from you.." He again is a voluntary patient and is back in his flat, feeling extremely low as he realizes the worst has happened. 11.“But violence from the one, one cares for (and loves) can be so hard”. 12.PTSD “. Sometimes I'll be in another room and he'll let out a shout like the bad old days, and my heart will sink. then I realise he's watching a soccer match and getting as excited as I would”
13. Side effects of meds: But he had the shakes, he was choking on his food, so he flatly refused medication. 14. Side Effects of meds: My daughter also suffered from side effects, the shakes, weakness in her legs that made her feel her legs would give way. Also caused her to wee herself (She is only 20yrs old) and also made her skin and head itch. Louise would keep stop taking her meds and inadvertently end up back in the psych unit.
15. I too didn't understand what was going on with my husband in the beginning of the illness all those years ago.
They just gave medicines. No one told me what they were looking for when they gave hospital/ consultants appointments. I also think that the ignorance despite reading every thing available on the subject contributed to his many relapses. 16. Acceptance: I have accepted the situation and come to a kind of "semi retirement" in my struggle and fights to change it.
17. Involvement: It is not only the ill person who suffers from the illness, the carer also suffers the same with them. That is why it is important to involve the carer from the start. 18. Stages of caring 1. The stages carers go through, first stage being shock, confusion & denial 2. 2nd stage Grief, fear, confusion and anger 3. 3rd stage Acceptance – takes many years to reach
I don’t think parents ever completely lose the feelings of grief and loss
19.Training and support: Family members should be able to use different kinds of treatment adherence programs and
have an arsenal of coping strategies and problem-solving skills to manage their ill relative effectively. Knowing where to
find outpatient and family services that support people with schizophrenia and their caregivers is also valuable.
20. On the verge of a crisis: I had begun to forget that feeling of tension & panic inside. It's like being hit with a lurgy in
every part of my body. How could I possibly forget the feeling that I lived with for 7 years?
Comments from members of www.groups.yahoo.com/group/Carersforumuk
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