Hi I’m Sunfox. A lot of you may not have heard of me and that’s maybe because of the Cornerian army but anyway. You all must be thinking I’m mad and I am but that isn’t the reason I started interviewing was to pay of some loans to General Pepper about an explosion that I caused. My loan is so expensive that when I told the loan company I was trying they laughed, hung up, tried to shoot me and sent me a Brittany spears CD with Slippy singing y on it as well. I also needed a place to stay and I was told Starwing HQ offered shelter to interviewers not permanent but it should be long enough for Lupinemoon (my friend) to get an extra room in his apartment. Anyway on with the interview.
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Lupine’s apartment @ 543
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Lupine and Sunfox are watching Pokemon the first movie and are at the bit where Mewtwo has just flown out of team rocket’s Headquarters.
Lupine: See not everyone takes being told that their only purpose in life is to destroy for and serve another person.
Sunfox: Lupe, if I remember what you told me you smashed your creator’s head into an anvil.
Lupine: Yes Sun but at least I didn’t throw my creator into a nuclear missile launch it then fire a shotgun bullet into it.
Sunfox: What can I say I was angry.
Lupine gets up and turns the T.V. off.
Sunfox: Hey Lupe, I was watching that.
Lupine: Sun, shouldn’t you be finding out who you’re interviewing and prepare?
Sunfox: I don’t need to prepare but I will find out who I’m interviewing.
Lupine: What do you mean you don’t need to prepare? Have you even read the other interviewers interviews?
Sunfox: Of cause I have and the ones I’ve read so far nothing bad has happened to any of them.
Lupine: You are talking about the Starfox interviews right?
Sunfox: Oh hell no. I heard what happens in them. If I read any of them it would lower my self-esteem.
Lupine: You truly are an idiot. The scary thing is when you were made you were the smartest thing on Corneria. Were they able t walk on two legs back then?
Sunfox: Yes. Well the scientists who created me were.
Lupine: Fair enough.
Sunfox: Don’t worry Lupe. We’ll be fine.
Lupine: What do you mean we?
Sunfox: You’re coming with me.
Lupine: Um… no I’m not.
Sunfox: Come on Lupe. You have to come. With out you I will no reason to live.
Lupine: Ok, Ok just don’t go all mushy on me.
Sunfox: Yes
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Saddam Hussein’s hidden nuclear storage bunker @ 453 the next day
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Sunfox and Lupine are sitting in front of some sort of control panel. Somehow there is an audience.
Sunfox: Hello all I’m Sunfox and this is my friend Lupinemoon. I am a new interviewer and I am hosting my interview here.
A random guy from audience stands up
Random guy from audience: I have some things to say. You’re insane an idiot and OMG WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!!
The majority (all but one) of the audience start to kill them selves babbling on about some sort of apocalypse.
Sunfox: Well that was odd. Why the hell did they do that?
Lupine: You truly are more idiotic then Fox.
Sunfox: Anyway I have Microsoft pro-plothole 1.0 because I have heard of the constant plotholes that plague the interviewers.
Lupine: Then why in gods name did you buy and install pro-plothole?
Sunfox: Well on the box it says if it doesn’t work then no plotholes should appear in your vicinity.
Lupine: And what if it works?
Sunfox: Works? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Thanks I needed a good laugh.
Lupine: What’s so funny?
Sunfox: It’s made by Microsoft.
Lupine: Oh. I see. It’s made by Microsoft so therefore it won’t work and on the box it says if it don’t work then no plotholes will appear and so no plotholes will appear in this area.
Sunfox: Exactly.
Lupine: Wow. You actually did something clever.
Sunfox: There’s a first time for everything.
Lupine: True, true.
Sunfox: Back to the interview. Wait I detect two life forms heading in this direction. And one of them is giving off a lot of anger.
Lupine: Oh crap. I interrupted Fara’s shopping. I’m dead.
Sunfox: Don’t worry if she gets out of hand the marines will take care of her.
Lupine: What marines?
Just then a troop of marines come out a nuke.
Lupine: Where the hell did they come from?
Sunfox: Well they got here via my foot but have been hiding in that nuke over there since we got here.
Lupine: Ok.
Sunfox: Oh if Fara sees you as soon as she gets in here I won’t be able to call the marines.
Lupine: Why?
Sunfox: Because I need to ask her a few questions and if I call the marines at the beginning then she will be asleep for the remainder of the interview.
Lupine: Then what am I supposed to do?
Sunfox: Hide somewhere till I say you can come out or I need you.
Lupine: Ok then.
Lupine hides behind a nuke and turns invisible. Just as he has turned invisible the marines go back into their nuke and the door flies of its hinges. Standing in the doorway is a very PO’ed looking Fara.
Fara: WHERE IS HE!?
Sunfox: Who?
Fara: THAT WOLF WHO INTERRUPTED MY SHOPPING!!!!
Sunfox: Well he isn’t here.
Fara: Really?
Sunfox: Yes.
Fara: Ok then what do you want?
Sunfox: I’m the new interviewer.
Fara: (Oh god not another one.)
Caiman then walks in and sees all the nukes.
Caiman: I must have died and gone to heaven.
Sunfox: Hi Caiman I’m the new interviewer.
Caiman: Someone’s interviewing me. Oh happy days.
Sunfox: Right. Ok before we start do any of you have and conditions to this interview.
Caiman: No one is to interrupt me.
Sunfox: Fine and Fara?
Fara: No questions on Fox, Krystal or why I get angry easily.
Sunfox: Right.
Sunfox rips out half of his notes.
Sunfox: Well as I have no questions for you Fara I’ll give you something to do outside.
Fara: What?
Sunfox: Oi, Lupe over here now.
Lupine walks out from behind the nuke and becomes visible.
Sunfox: I believe this is the wolf you were looking for. Take him outside. I don’t want his screams interrupting Caiman.
Fara: Ok than.
She walks out of the bunker dragging Lupine behind her.
Lupine: HELP ME!
Sunfox: Sorry I have an interview to do. So Caiman. What do you think of Andross?
Caiman: Well, Andross can be a bossy and demanding but I need money so I don’t say anything to him on fear of being fired. He’s also insane.
Sunfox: You say you need money. Why don’t you take up a job interviewing?
Caiman: well interviewers are paid well but I’ve heard that for every innocent civilian (excluding interviewers, helpers or audience) and interviewee killed £1,000 gets deducted from your pay and I kill a lot of people from them not listening to me so I would be in negatives for my pay.
Sunfox: Seems logical. My last question what are you?
Caiman: I am a very rare species of-
Lupine: SUNFOX YOU LOUZY SON OF A B****!!!!!
It is then that Sunfox realises that a mutilated Lupine has crawled back through the door.
Caiman: I… I was interrupted
Sunfox: Oh crap. DUCK AND COVER!!
Lupine: What’s the point. We are surrounded by nukes. We are going to be blown to kingdom come no matter what.
Caiman: Pulls out nuke. Goodbye and die.
Caiman jumps into a plothole that just appears as he dropped the nuke.
Sunfox: What the hell? Where did that plothole come from? There aren’t supposed to be any plotholes.
Sunfox sees loads of plotholes all around the bunker. All of them seem to be dropping out more nukes.
Lupine: Oh great. The only thing that Microsoft makes that works is the one thing we don’t want to work. And where are those marines going?
The marines walk out the doorway.
Sunfox: WIMPS! We’ll be fine the nuke hasn’t exploded yet so it probably doesn’t work.
Bill Gates falls out of one of the plotholes.
Bill: Ha, ha now I can install windows into that control panel over there.
Obi-wan Kenobi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Bill: Shut up Obi-wan
Sunfox: Oh crap.
Bill Gates installs windows into the control panel and starts the count down for one of the nukes to explode.
Bill: I’ll be going now.
Bill Gates turns around to find that there are no more plotholes.
Bill: Oh f- (Insert random PSO comment here.)
Sunfox: In your face now we all die together.
Leon: And I can torture Bill gates for the last few seconds before the explosion.
Bill: Oh no. Not you AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Sunfox: Where the hell did you come from?
Leon: That plothole over there.
Leon points to a plothole.
Bill: A plothole, yes
Bill Gates starts to run towards the plothole.
Leon: Oh no you don’t
Leon trips Bill Gates over and starts to torture him.
Bill: PAIN OH PAIN
It is at this point that the countdown reaches 0 and that Caiman’s nuke decides to explode.
Lupine: F-
Insert big explosion.
Epilogue
Hi Lupine here. Sunfox can’t do the epilogue because right now he has no hands. Anyway that was Sunfox’s first interview. After the explosion most of Asia was blown into space, it then conveniently shrunk to just bigger then the HQ and then landed on the HQ. The side with the A&E ward in it. So we are all now in the kitchen with no nurse joy as she was also crushed.
Nurse joy: I’m going to hurt both of you.
As you can see she’s quite angry with us. Sunfox should be out in 6 months. Just in time for his next interview.
Copyrights
Sunfox and Lupinemoon are © to me
Bill gates is © to himself
Leon, Fara, Caiman, Pokemon: the first movie and Nurse Joy are © Nintendo
Obi-wan Kenobi is © to George Lucas
Microsoft is © to Bill Gates
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