How Scott Saved the World

Mrs. Geltman placed eight cans of vegetables into her shopping cart. That was the last item on her list. She went to check out. She placed all the items onto the belt. “Hello. How are you today?” Krystal the checker asked.
“I’m all right,” Mrs. Geltman answered. “But I’m in a bit of a hurry.”
Krystal proceeded to scan all of the items on the belt. Scott, the sacker, opened up a plastic sack and started loading items into it. He placed a full sack into Mrs. Geltman’s shopping cart. Then another. And another. And another. Lastly, he put all of her canned vegetables into a bag and placed it into her cart. Mrs. Geltman paid for her groceries and left for home.
She arrived at the parking lot of her apartment complex. She opened up the trunk of her car, and immediately regretted choosing a third floor apartment. She grabbed as many of the plastic bags as she could, and headed for the stairway. She clutched tightly to the handles and started her way up. She made it up to the second floor, and then the third floor. Having gone all this way, she decided that she needed a break, so she leaned on the railing. Her bags were hanging over open air.
Suddenly, the bottom of the bag containing the canned vegetables gave way! They dropped at high speed, and, unfortunately, struck a first floor resident, Mr. Hefter, on the head. He fell to the ground, and blood met pavement.
An ambulance arrived ten minutes later, and brought him to Patterson Memorial Hospital, where he was pronounced dead. His widow, Mrs. Hefter, wept when she heard the news. She went home and called all her friends and relatives and told them the bad news. Mr. Hefter had a decent funeral, and all of his friends and family were there.
One month later, Mrs. Hefter was feeling lonely, and decided to cheer herself up by volunteering at the retirement center. That always cheers her up. She was good friends with a lot of the senior citizens there.
When she arrived, she headed for Mrs. Rotmeyer’s room. They chatted for an hour or so, and then it was time for Mrs. Hefter to work on preparing food for everyone. After everyone was done eating, she went to visit with Mr. Weltman. She went into his room, only to find him sleeping. She was about to leave when she noticed something. Mr. Weltman wasn’t breathing. She went and called for a nurse.
Mr. Weltman’s son, Ron Weltman, couldn’t handle the news. He figured the only thing he could do was wash away his woes at the bar. He drank, and drank some more, and drank some more, and drank some more, and drank until the bartender said, “Sir, I think you’ve had enough. I’d better call a cab.”
“Nah…” Ron replied. “I’ll be feh-fine.” Ron staggered out to his car, managed to put the key in the ignition, and started driving home. After driving for about five minutes, Ron was surprised by a sudden bump in the road. “Hey… that wasn’t there befo-fore…” he said. He had no idea that he had hit someone and run him over. He drove home.
An ambulance arrived fifteen minutes later, and pronounced him dead at the scene. They brought him to Patterson Memorial Hopsital, where a nurse attempted to ID him. She located his wallet. “My God…” she exclaimed. “It’s the President’s son!” After doing a background check, all skepticism was left behind. He was indeed the President’s son.
It was all over the news the next day. The President’s son was in a hit-and-run accident. No suspects yet. The President kept himself in the Oval Office. He tried to keep himself from crying, but eventually broke down. He sobbed loudly and pounded his deck. Suddenly, the room flashed red as an alarm sounded. The President looked up, teary eyed, and saw that he had accidentally pressed a button. A button labeled “FIRE”. Minutes later, a missile exploded in a remote area of Russia.
The Russian President picked up his phone and dialed up the military. A missile exploded in the middle of the US. NATO brought up its old “An attack on one is an attack on all” allegiance, and fired their missiles. Soon, every nation in the world that could was firing missiles. The world exploded.
“HEY! QUIT DAYDREAMING AND SACK THOSE GROCERIES! I’M IN A HURRY!” Scott shook his head and remembered where he was. He looked down, and saw that all he had left to sack were the canned vegetables. He put the cans in a paper bag.

The End

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