F.A.Q.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are many questions that are being asked (usually they're being stated as fact) about online relationships. These are questions AGAINST online relationships.
See the section How to cope for questions and tips about online relationships.
What is an online relationship?
An online relationships is a relationship that has formed online between two or more people. The people in question have also never met each other offline.
Online relationships aren't real, right?
Online relationships are definitely real. It's a relationship shared by two or more people who are very well alive, and are not robots. The communication might be through the internet, but the feelings that are conveyed are definitely real for the real people.
You can't fall in love over the internet, it's just a fantasy.
The truth is, a lot of people have fallen in love while over the internet so this argument is completely void of any truth. Falling in love over the internet can happen, it has plenty of times before. You do not need to see in someone's eyes or feel someone's skin to fall in love. It's also not a fantasy that people act out. These relationships are real, their love is real, and the people involved are real.
People can fake who they are online, you could be dating a 40 year old pervert!
Yes people can fake their personalities, age, gender, whatever online. These people is what we call
liars, they also exist offline, and don't just generate spontaneously from the internet. Yes you can lie online and get away with it, but there are plenty of ways to know who you're talking to, so you can be sure it's not a '40 year old pervert'.
What are those ways of knowing who you're talking to?
The popular ones are webcams and microphones/cellphones. This way you can see who it is you're talking to, while you're on the microphone with them.
It could be a pre-recorded video from the internet, or someone else could be sitting in front of the webcam!
The average internet uses doesn't even know how to hook up their webcam on their computer, let alone know how to intercept the live webcam feed from their choice of videochatprogram. I'm pretty sure there's a way to do it, but only tech savvy people will know how to do this, not the average internet user. If there is someone else sitting in front of the webcam, then it's really easy to know if they're faking it or not. You use the
microphone while the
webcam is on. This way, when the person who is talking to you, and their personality matches to the one you know from the chatting times, you can see if their mouth movements matches to the person talking. Voila, you know what they look like AND sound like.
What if they don't have a webcam or microphone?
If someone is serious about an online relationship, they will do everything, including buying a webcam and microphone. Not only does it give you a more personal feel, you can also see what they act like behind the computer, and what their voice sounds like. Anyone that uses the excuse that it's too expensive is just bullshitting you because webcams can easily be bought for 10 dollars, and microphones can be bought as cheap as 5 dollars. If they're serious about it, they can save up their 10 dollars even if they are poor, because it's ridiculously cheap. If someone says they do not have money for a webcam or microphone, and won't even try to save up as much as 10 dollars for one, then usually that means the person is not serious about the relationship and might be just faking their relationship with you. Red flag right there.
They could still be faking it and lying everything they say to you!
If you already know what they look like and sound like, then the lying problem isn't only connected to online relationships anymore. You can easily lie about everything too in an offline relationship. People can lie, just because it's online, doesn't mean everyone will lie to you, just like people won't always lie to you offline.
Online relationships are for ugly people, or for those who can not get any.
Online relationships aren't meant for a certain type of people who look unpleasant in your eyes. Online relationships are for people who want them, and they're not just related to 'ugly' people. Also, for those in an online relationship, they do not get in one so they can 'get any'. Do you have any idea how long it takes for an online couple to meet each other offline? It can take from 1 month to 2 years to meet, so if anyone is trying to 'get some', they wouldn't look online, they'd look for a hooker on the street to get some.
Online relationships aren't safe, so people shouldn't do it
Nothing is ever safe, there are risks with everything you take. Offline dating can get you involved into an abused relationship, or date-rape, or even murdered. Should we not date offline anymore because this can happen? Of course not, which is why online relationships shouldn't be dismissed just because bad stuff can happen. Bad stuff happens everywhere, and yes it can happen in an online relationship, just like an offline relationship.
You don't know how they act like outside of the internet, so you don't really know them.
People act different in different situations all the time, but that doesn't mean you don't 'know them' because you haven't seen that side of them yet. A way to get to know how your partner acts offline, is easily conveyed through recorded videos, webcams, conversations with family members and friends. It's not impossible to get to know how someone acts offline.
They will kill you if you try to meet them
While this can happen, usually it's only stupid people who get killed (no offense). There are plenty of ways to see if someone is being serious or not. First you figure out who the other person is, and then before you go meet, you make elaborate plans (and maybe take someone with you), and let everyone know you're going to meet your online partner. If something happens to you, I think it's pretty obvious what happened. So making precautions like that, will ensure you that you will most likely not get killed. Sadly, there are people who will meet the first person they see on the net, and eventually get caught in a very bad situation. What most people need to realize is that most people in an online relationship do not want to meet right away. Anyone who wants to meet you after like 3 weeks of chatting is probably out for something other than a relationship.
They might be different when you meet them offline.
Sadly, this is actually true. Sometimes people are different online and offline, and usually don't notice it. If the people who are in an online relationship are being honest and use webcams and microphones, then they can minimize that risk as much as possible. There are people who are different (bad luck), and there are people who are exactly the same as they were before. If people are being honest, there's a big chance they're going to be same online and offline.
You might not feel the same offline as you do online
Another true statement. Chemistry is something you have to feel while you're being close to someone, and unfortunately for people in an online relationship, that's just not possible. Many people who have met offline did feel the same way still, but there have been cases where they just felt friendship and nothing more. It's a sad thing when that happens, but there's nothing bad about it. It just means the couple will end the relationship and move on.
For now, that's all I've got. You can always ask me a question about online relationships and I will put it up here.
