I had to do a safari finally. If only to convince the folks back home that I had really been to Africa. And what better way than to embark on one at the renowned Kruger National Park, one of the biggest and oldest wildlife parks in the world.

Established in 1898 by the ZAR President Paul Kruger, the reserve is roughly two million hectares and bigger than Israel, pronounced our driver-guide.

After a few hours’ drive from Johannesburg into the scenic Mpumalanga province, we arrived at the Numbi Gate, one of seven entrances into the park. Once in the boundaries, our guide slowed to a crawl and said we could start looking for lions! I have had sightings of various animals in my visit to other parts of South Africa, but those were ‘bonuses’ as I wasn’t looking out for them. On a safari, however, the name of the game is (pardon the pun) to spot game. And so I stared into the bush intently and began my quest in earnest…

And stared. As I was to discover on my 3-day Kruger visit, going on a safari in the wrong season can be a rather visually-challenging process, this being the ‘autumn’ early May period of thick grasslands, instead of wintry July where all leafy vegetation is supposed to dissipate, giving way to pristine wildlife views of the ‘National Geographic’ variety.

We did not have beginners’ luck after all, in our initial drive to the nearby Pretoriuskop rest camp, especially when a car sped noisily by and frightened off whatever animals there were.

We did not have a brilliant start either. There was a mix-up in our accommodation arrangements at the rest camp, so we had to be moved to outside the park. Luckily, the Phumulani Lodge & Culture Village, just a stone’s throw away from the gate, proved to be most excellent and comfortable.

From this fine base, we made a series of trips into Kruger.
Yep, staring all the way…

Our first game-
spotting session on the day of our arrival did not yield any of the Big Five, meaning the lion, leopard, elephant, buffalo and rhino, so-called because of their highly territorial and aggressive nature.

But we did see a male giraffe, which was very good at camouflaging as a tree by keeping so still, a bambi-like impala skipping on a forest trail, and a most absorbing drama at a river puddle, starring a heron and a few other birds enjoying their pickings of the poor trapped fish.

A monitor lizard darting surreptitiously in the water eventually stole the show by making off with the biggest catch of the day, even if he had to heave it ashore with great difficulty. Hm, this wildlife act with a fishy plot was proving more engaging than a Hollywood production!

I found it weird to see ordinary cars in the park, for I had always imagined safaris to be conducted in armoured trucks or at least tall vehicles (like ours, reassuringly) where the danger remained far below. As our guide explained, it was not as risky as it appeared as the animals do not see us as separate beings from the vehicle, which must look like a really big strange creature to their black-white and, for the lion (critically), two-dimensional vision. It is a different story once we get off the vehicle - on foot, the slow two-legged human is fair game for any predator.

The next day, we sat
off early on our dawn hunt, bleary eyes and all. “The early bird catches the worm”, or so the saying goes. Well, we were certainly rewarded when a hyena came galloping onto our path and bustled right past us. Cool.

Then we went to a waterhole where we were treated to three sets of cute bobbing hippo ears. The hippo may look affable but we were told it is actually the number one man-killer in Africa. It should have been the Big Six including this chap, except that the British who had requested the list didn’t believe the destructive exploits of this innocent-looking herbivore (ironically).

Suddenly, the guide’s radar ears picked up a roar and we were off immediately in search of the perpetuator. There it was, a male lion on the road lying on its side, completely ignoring the tourist-filled van parked next to it.

Used to the regal full-mane specie in the TV documentaries, we were surprised at this poor bruised hairless specimen, that is, until it lifted its head and growled at us with a deep menacing bellow. The glinting green eyes seemed to pierce through us. Shudder. This creature might be down and out, probably ejected from its pride by a younger male, according to our guide, but that made it all the more dangerous as it was in a desperate situation surviving on its own.

Well, that was the first of our Big Five and we had high hopes. But the thing about safaris was that you could see a lot in the blink of an eye. And then there was nothingness for hours on stretches. Well, at least to our eyes. The park is supposed to be home to 147 mammals, 505 bird species and 116 reptile species. I had a constant sneaky feeling that it was us being watched rather than the other way round…

It was a fruitful day nevertheless. There were plenty of deer – impalas (also known as “MacDonald’s” as they were supposed to be everywhere!) which breed easily and are (logically) at the bottom of the food chain, and the bigger kudus with a white ring on their rear. I also loved the exotic birds in the park, so many of them and often very pretty and dazzling in their colours. Other ‘entertainers’ included the hilarious warthog, the mischievous monkeys and the slow but steady tortoises.

There was also the ever-reliable giraffe. We came across two herds in all, swaying magnificently amongst the trees, especially a photogenic female with long fluttering eyelashes who struck ‘co-operative’ poses for us.

I had never noticed it before but our guide pointed out that the ‘graceful’ gait of the giraffe came about because of its human-like walking style – two left legs, then two right legs – quite unlike other four-legged creatures which alternate the limbs.

Another mind-boggling fact concerns the acacia tree which the giraffe feeds on. The damaged leaves actually release a chemical into the air to “warn” its green friends and they then create a yucky taste to discourage the herbivore. Now the giraffe is not stupid either; it actually eats in a certain wind direction so that the smell is not carried to the other trees in its eating path. Amazing.

And so it was during the slow times, that we listened to our knowledgeable guide regale us with the colourful tales of the ecosystem, as well as the unusual and often structured and intellectual habits of our fellow inhabitants on earth.

In the evening, we went on a night safari conducted by the park people and caught our second Big Five in the twilight – a herd of elephants, which for all their size, melted astonishingly into the forest. We peered into the dark and, with the help of two strong spotlights, saw a few owls and snakes, including a poisonous puff adder.

But the highlight of it all was a pride of nine lions which we followed to a clearing. There were several lionesses and cubs, but the king of the pride was clearly the star, pruning itself indifferently in the limelight and seemingly oblivious to all the pairs of eyes of us mere puny humans gaping at its powerful muscled limbs. Two-dimensional vision or not, I was unnerved by the nearness and its pure arrogance.

The male lion sleeps 18 hours a day and gets first pick of the food hunted by the females. Live like a king, but demise like a beggar, as I remembered the lonesome fellow on the road this morning. Once the old king is ousted, the new sovereign taking over the pride actually kills the cubs of the ousted male.

On our way back, another hyena scurried past us
– a fitting climax to an exhilarating night.

It was hard to live up to the exciting evening we had, but our last morning forage into Kruger proved just as adrenalin-pumping even though we did not see the other Big Five.

The script was getting familiar. Another lying lion on the road to start the day – it seemed to be the season for ousted male cats.

Then our vehicle went right past a young male elephant about to cross the road. Boy was he mad and he announced his displeasure by trumpeting loudly and angrily. Weaned on zoo and circus performance elephants, as well as those domesticated ones used for transport and rides (why, I even rode on one in Nepal), I had found it hard to believe the gentle and docile elephant to be a Big Five member. Well, that roar certainly convinced me of its credentials, thank you very much.

After incurring the wrath of that teen wild elephant, we were not about to make the same mistake when we saw the huge mammoth ahead facing the road, even if he was grazing innocently. This one was over 40 years old, by our guide’s expert reckoning, and his oozing musk was overpowering.

When his majesty finally moved away from the road, we sped by quickly. From that day onwards, I had developed a profound respect for this big mammal, totally in keeping with its size.

Soon after our close shave with the big-eared ones, we were treated to the spectacle of a thunderous stampede of wildebeests right across our path. Okay, that was an exaggeration. It was a small herd. But still, it was marvelous to witness those migratory creatures we see so often on the National Geographic channel, leaping gracefully across one by one.

Our guide said God created the wildebeests out of spare parts, viz antelope head and horse ass. I think they were beautiful anyway.

This was followed by a more sedate show from the familiar zebra, doing a crossing of course. Lastly, the lovely bevies of impalas and kudus made an encore appearance to end our morning show on a pleasant note.

The journey had not ended. We had a nice change of landscape departing from Kruger and making our way back to Johannesburg via the lush Blyde River Canyon Nature Reserve, with stops at God’s Window for a gaping view of the 750m drop down the escarpment, the pretty Lisbon Falls, and the brightly restored gold mining town of Pilgrim’s Rest.

I had enjoyed the tour
immensely as it had given me an intriguing insight into the animal kingdom. There was also the thrill of being so close to wildlife where “survival of the fittest” was the only law. My mind was full of the fascinating images and interesting facts learned from our wonderful guide and I knew my perception of the creatures had changed forever. For one, it would be hard to look at a domesticated cat pruning itself again without being reminded of its proud lethal cousin.

But gosh, my eyes felt so tired… I almost forgot I could blink again!