Are you there, God? It's me, James
by James Christie
For those of you who don't know, today is V-day. It’s therefore appropriate that I share with you the rich history of this wonderful holiday celebrating love.
Fifty-eight years ago on the first V-day, our boys and those pesky commies marched into Berlin, forcing the Nazis to surrender. Oh, it was a glorious day, for not only did it mark the end of World War II in Europe, but the vilest of all beings, Adolph Hitler, freed humanity from his evil presence by committing suicide. But before he offed himself he and his new bride, Eva Braun, exchanged "victory" cards to express their love for one another. Every year since then, the free world celebrates the end of the second Anti-Christ by exchanging "victory" cards with their romantic lovers, just as Hitler and Eva Braun did before they shot themselves and their corpses were set aflame in a ditch outside of a Berlin bunker.
Yet soon, evil corporations such as Hershey and Cadbury bastardized this sacred tradition by marketing their chocolate to be exchanged along with or even in lieu of the "victory" cards. Flower companies, chalky-sugary-heart-shaped candy companies, and aphrodisiac companies soon followed. The bastardization reached such egregious heights that even the Catholic Church got involved when they moved the feast day of the St. Valentine from April 30th to February 14th. The Vatican claimed that the real reason lovers exchanged "victory" cards, chocolates, aphrodisiacs, and chalky-sugar-heart-shaped candies that had cute little messages written on them such as 'I luv u', 'Thank goodness Hitler is gone', and 'My luv for you burns as the flames consuming the corpses of Hitler and Eva must have' had nothing to do with Hitler but was really a celebration of the Martyrdom of St. Valentine.
The audacity of the Church never ceases to amaze me. Not only have they corrupted pagan holidays by dressing them up as Christian, but they even do this with American ones. What American holiday is next on the Catholics’ list? The 4th of July? It wouldn't surprise me if they turned the observance of the birth of the GREATEST NATION EVER into a celebration of the beauty of choir boys.
But it's not really the corruption of V-day into "Valentine’s Day" that bothers me. What truly bothers me is how we as a nation have been ignoring Hitler's reincarnation, Saddam Hussein.
Now, I know what you're thinking.
"James, Saddam Hussein can't be the reincarnation of Hitler. Saddam was born in 1937 and Hitler died in 1945. They were both alive for eight years. They two can't be sharing the same soul. It's impossible."
That is only a lie that the liberal media has told you. Saddam wasn't born in 1937. He was born on V-day, 1945! The very day Hitler died. But instead of Hitler's soul dying it took a journey over to Baghdad and was born into the body of Saddam Hussein. Saddam Hussein is the reincarnation of Hitler. And we as a people have the audacity to ignore this?
How can you not support going to war with Iraq and finally ridding the world of the Anti-Christ's soul? How can any proud American ignore the rallying cry of our most patriotic and Christian of Presidents, George W. Bush? Has the bane of liberalism and girly pacifism poisoned you? Do you really believe those lies that President Bush is just trying to overthrown Saddam's regime for oil or because Saddam once tried to kill his dad—or to boost up his approval rating for the 2004 election?
Our President isn't a shallow man. He's a very moral and wonderful man who's trying to lead the coalition against Hitler's spirit. How can you look at yourself in the mirror or attend those "peace" rallies without being disgusted with yourself?
The world will never know peace, nor will we ever be able to truly celebrate V-day, until the Anti-Christ's spirit that now resides in the bile-filled bones of Saddam Hussein is dead. Let us support our President, as we once did from 1941 to 1945, in ridding the world of this pestilence.
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