opening theme tune

I'LL STICK A PONY IN ME POCKET,

I'LL FETCH THE SUITCASE FROM THE VAN,

COS IF YOU ARE THE BEST UNS,

BUT YOU DON'T ASK QUESTIONS,

THEN BROTHER I'M YOUR MAN,

COS WHERE IT ALL COMES FROM IS A MYSTERY,

IT'S LIKE THE CHANGING OF THE SEASONS AND THE TIDES OF THE SEA,

BUT HE'S THE ONE WHO'S DRIVIN ME BESERK,

WHY DO ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES WORK,

LA LA LA LA LA,

LA LA LA LA LA,

LA LA LA LA LA,

LA LA LA LA LA.

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closing theme tune

WE'VE GOT SOME HALF PRICE CRACKED ICE AND MILES AND MILES OF CARPET TILES,

TV'S DEEP FREEZE AND DAVID BOWIE LP'S ,

BOARD GAMES GOLD CHAINS WHAT'S IT'S NAMES AND AT A PUSH

SOME TREVOR FRANCES TRACKSUITS FROM A MUSH IN SHEPERDS BUSH,

BUSH BUSH BUSH BUSH BUSH BUSH,

NO INCOME TAX NO VAT,

NO MONEY BACK NO GARANTEE,

BLACK OR WHITE,

RICH OR POOR,

WE'LL COME PRICE AT A STROLL,

GOD BLESS HOOKIE STREET,

VIVA HOOKIE STREET,

LONG LIVE HOOKIE STREET,

SAY MAGNIFIQUE HOOKIE STREET

MAGNIFIQUE HOOKIE STREET

HOOKIE STREET

HOOKIE STREET

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