Kensington and Norwood writers group

Jill
Wherry

Jill Wherry was born in Northern Ireland. She married in the early 1960’s, emigrated to Australia and resumed a busy teaching career. Now retired, and with grown children, Jill has time to pursue her interest in writing. She has written mainly short stories and Bush Poetry. She has published three books of humorous verse entitled Not Shakespeare.

A number of comic poems in Jill’s books have been published in the Australian magazine, Yellow Moon, where My Footy Fan won a prize. Her poem Ode to an Old Rocker was published in The Australian Bush Poets newsletter. Jill’s poem Hooves won 2nd prize in the Bush Poetry category of Poetry Unhinged in 2005 and her poem The Melbourne Cup won first prize the following year.

Jill branched into performance poetry and won the SA Performance Bush Poetry Championships for 2005 and in 2006 she earned equal first in the Humorous section of the competition. Jill has also recited her poetry on radio.

If you are interested in enjoying Jill’s wicked sense of humour,
please contact her by phone 08 82660378 or by e-mail

An Older Woman's Lament

Too young to live on memories; too old to start again,
For six decades have come and gone; no wonder I complain.
My children grown, tower over me and check the will I've made
And somewhere 'long life's bumpy road, a husband I've mislaid.
Poor teeth have made my dentist rich; skin's past its used by date;
Drab greying hair needs endless care; I rarely consummate.
Oh not for me the night club scene, loud music, men and booze.
Heartburn has curbed my drinking days: I wince in disco shoes.
Wild rock 'n roll destroys my joints, my left hip gives me strife
And it's Arthur, Arthur Itis. who these days shares my life.
I can't remember yesterday, most body parts are drifting;
Old eyes play cruel tricks on me; my weary face needs lifting.
Hormonal hair, it makes me swear; legs wobble, what a sight.
Grandkids play trains on dark blue veins and poke my cellulite.
I battle with incontinence, thank God health checks are free,
As I race off for mammograms and scripts for HRT.

But let's cling to our zest for life: have fun, it's not so hard.
Meet friends 'cos hey it's pension day and bring your seniors' card.
Jill Wherry
first published in Yellow Moon
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Better the Devil you Know?
1.
Husband's late; children cry.
Spuds aren't peeled, clothes won't dry.
Dog escapes; neighbour's cross.
Three-year-old thinks she's boss.
Fridge won't work; garden's dead.
Bills unpaid; kids want fed.
One throws up; damn that phone.
Baby chews doggy's bone.
Screeching brakes; car in drive.
Family dog still alive.

"Hi there dear, hubby's back.'
Swore at boss, got the sack.
Scruffy spouse, rarely here,
Loves his mates, loves his beer.
Scoffs down food, burps and swears,
Never helps, never cares.
2.
Handsome man, thinks I'm cute.
Winning smile, well cut suit.
Very rich; car's devine.
Wants to share food and wine.
Spoils me heaps, oozes charm.
Luncheon date, what's the harm?
Think it's love: offers cruise.
Can't resist, full of booze.

Bye-bye kids, want to roam.
Dump my man, leave my home.
Life is full, lucky find.
-Sober now, changed my mind.
Back again, family life.
Just a mum, just a wife.
Staying home with my chap.
Better off? - that's just CRAP!
Jill Wherry
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