Gagh, have you ever had one of those situations that went horrible that anything to do with you reminding of that situation you want to put it off/avoid it/etc so you're not reminded of that situation? (and if any of you read that and understood it kiddos to you!) Well, lately I have been depressed. Nothing really is wrong to make me depressed...outside of the fact that my roommates are like...leaving me out of everything (hey, I might be the youngest sure, but still you could invite me to something. I mean, I ask if you guys want to go out if I'm happening to be going somewhere) and I'm walking on eggshells. But outside of that, I guess...things are semi-okay. Sure my back hurts and my numbness...but anyways. Well forwhatever reason, just yesterday, I was just reading something when I paused and suddenly thought of Chris.
I've start to realize that if something horrible happens to me that I push it so far back, that at first I may be thinking about it, but weeks/months/or years later I remembering something happened but can't remember the details. But sometimse my body remembers, I guess. So I had actually had on a couple of occations thought of Chris, my sorta ex I guess, but never did dong on me the dates.
The entire month of January is the month where I found love and then as soon as I found it, my heart breaks into a million pieces. I had pushed that memory so far back that I didn't even realize that the anniversary of those dates even came and went, though my body did.
-sigh- I hate the memories of Chris. I want to forget them so bad and I thought I did. But all I did was push them agianst the wall where if I just turn my head slightly, he's memory is there. And yet even though I hate looking at them, rememberign them...I just can't...let them go...
Hugs,Nollie
First off, I'm not dead. Aw shucks right?! Lol anyways, I've had some already interesting things happen to me so far this year which has kept me partly busy so far.
Anyways, I thought I would like to announce here that I have been brainstorming and thinking and that I may repost a story that I had taken down a year. And I have partly to thank my watercolor class which has renewed my interest in the arts. I'm not sure when I'll repost this story because I would like to have some art work that is mine to have as examples. But I'll be reposting it, hopefully as soon as I finish On Paper , which FYI is currently in that status of writers block mostly because this writer has been busy and hasn't had the time to actually write and when I do I'm not in the mood to write sadly.
Anyways, I hope everyone's year has been wonderful so far!
Huggles,Nollie
Okay so I'm a few days late but it's still the new year XD I hope everyone had great and safe holidays. I also wish everyone best of luck on their goal for the new year. I can't say what my mine is 'cause...really I haven't decided. I'm torn between going beyond the 3 GPA I need or losing weight...I haven't decided but both are good goals so maybe I'll try for both. But I don't need the stress. Or maybe my goal should to write a book. Eh...lol well what ever it is, I hope to complete it. Normally I don't complete my new year goal or at least I can't remember what the goal was in the first to complete it. I just might this year XD.
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