I don’t remembe that much, tipical I know. But when we were kids, I don’t think you know it but you were my idle. That’s why I tried so hard to please you, and failed miserbly *chuckle*. Trying everything from learning katana to art. You should have seen your face when I gave you that blob I called trees. But I knew you watched me, that’s why I tried so hard. I wanted to be able to be like you, fight like you..and beat you. You were the best of everything, I wanted to prove I was to. But it really didn’t turn out the way I expected . Instead of being proud when I looked at you , both of us were so filthy that mother praticly malled us when we came back. If it wasn’t for me caring you, she would have probably shut the door on me agen. Heh, I wasn’t surprised when she blamed me for the mess you were, it was after all my fault. When you had fallen I eagerly looked for a sign of defet, shame, or obedance, I found nothing. Confused I tried harder, I didn’t care what I did to you or any one around me, I wanted to see you himiated and in defet like I had. You showed nothing of the kind. I didn’t understand, you had lost I had beaten you. Later I would find, that look frequent , but not given by you. I supposed the harsh feeling I directed tord mum was now thrown at you. They always were just now I wasn’t so stupid to not notice it. So I tried to do the same, and I succeeded in making you feel jelousey tord me. I remember how exsited and content I was when seeing you glare. Only pasing a mocking smile tord you made it even better all the wile. But thoughs thoughts wouldn’t remain for very long.
IT was cold outside, I remember that, freezing infact. And you were there, no one eles. We were in some part of the forest, in a din. I teased you , I figured you had tricked some stupid fox into giving us its den. You went along with it, that’s when I saw your fingers. Bandaged badly in farbic you had riped from your pants, they were bloody and dirt covered, it was you who had dug the hole. That’s why your hands were black from the cold. Also then I noticed I was no longer bound in my black dress, you had given me your shirt and jaket too. I said nothing, but guilt washed over, to stubborn to admit I was wrong , but I knew. You made it worse, you always did. When you were two week to defend me agenst them. I blamed you, it was always your fault. But little did I know, you agen would become my sanctuary, I always ran to you. Despite spending time in the golden walls of that palace, my attention quickly truned to the younge blood prince, Aries. I don’t know what I saw in him, he was like me, or at lest, all I wanted to be and could never become. Like you had done with me , I found Aries growing close to me, to close for my confert one could say. But this is what I had longed for, some one who didn’t know what and who I was. That would change, agen I would find hatred and sarow tord you, it was always your fault.
You had to go and ‘talk’ with me, you knew he was lissoning, you knew he over heard our fight. You showed him what I had tried to hide for so long..I would never forgive Kayu for that, never. Aries had decovered what I hated so much. And still he accepted me, out of my fear I drove him away. It was harsh but I had to do it, I watched him cry and pleade for me to come back, I ignored him and pushed him away. Finaly the prince had gotten on my nerves, he never left..So I did the last desprit thing I could, I tried to despose of him. And you watched from the side lines, you watched I wanted to show you I wasn’t weak, I was just as good as you. So I took my range that had been built up, my confusion and furstration out on my own Brother, Aries. I was satisfied when you fled, I didn’t want the stupid title of being a prince, probably why I had never gotten it. I wanted to show Kayu I was just as good as him. But slowly I wanted to be even better.
I didn’t hear from Aries, I didn’t care..I never did. You found me agen, you ruined my plans of escaping that stupid prisson I had pretended was my home. It would never be my home, you would never be my brother. And I knew, this would be the last time I would see you as some one in my life, the last time I would hate you for you. The last time, I would ever see you, as human.
my life was everything I wanted it to be, I gnored the pain, the hate and descust that lurked inside of me, hiddion away. And I met her. Who would think, the blue and orange haired girl, would soon become much more then some one who spilled coffee of me much more then the clumsy women I had cought on the stairs.She would become my obession.
God she was clumsy, and doing the weridst stunts with no fear. , I soon grew to love her sence of adventure. But it didn’t start like that, she was the msot anoing, eritateing women I had ever met . Half of the time I wanted to strangle her the other half I wanted to tease her about lossing. But I became aditcted, like a drug she hooked me. I couldn’t get away from her, as much as I tried. Reminding myself this was a game, it was a game , I was going to win, she would be mine.
AT first it was a challenge, we fought about everything, she was an ordinary girl that I was going to beat. Her ego was to big for her head, I was going to brake it. And she went along by mocking and only making me more determined to win agenst her. Things went from just compeating in races to getting threw the grand canion. IT was simple, last one to get out won, and who ever one this won them all. It didn’t really work out the way I had planed. Makieng traps, short cuts and anything eles that made us get an advantage. But I hadn’t , and I doubt she had expected a storm to blow in. Before I knew it I was half way under water. I couldn’t find her, she was right behind me and disappeared, imditly fearing for her life I went to find her. Apon comeing acrost her she had been nocked uncotiouse and was half way drounding.
Well, as you can guss I had to save her-
Kayu:…You didn’t just save her-
Yoa: *shoves Kayu into a closet* Like I said I saved her. Going to the only place I found was loged under two rocks, we later spent the night. I don’t know what happened, but after she had brutly slaped me for giving her CPR and flooded me with a wave of insalts I had began to notice, when saveing her I had been quite frantic. As well as I found myself glancing back or checking to see if she was ok. I however only noticed when she had laied down to sleep, it wasn’t like me to invade on ones space when they are sleeping. And the thought of her wakeing didn’t seem to enter my mind at that moment, I just wanted to be close to her. It may sound odd, actualy I debated half of the night with myself..It probably was pathetic, I havent ever in my life felt so insaure around a female. Always able to ‘play it cool’, calm and collected. I was the one others went to to get advice for women. IF they wanted to ask a girl or impress her I was always the one they would ask for advice and help, but now..Everything I knew, I had told people, thoughs rules seemed distant and forgin to me.
For the past 5 mouths we had been compeating agenst one another, I never really looked at her, I mean I did but it was..different. The emotions others described to me, when asking what they felt around one they liked soon became all I would ever know when around her. It puzzled me and at the same time I hated it, my fear of being bound down, and not knowing what to do at the right time soon consomed me. Unfortunately, this became quite clear to her only moments later after I had relized it myself.
She had noticed my presence, after I had made one of the supidit excuses of my life and praticly paniced she was going back deeper into the desert cavern. The fumier compition rose and I was relived I had something to keep on my mind then these feelings inside. She protested me comeing, as always thinking she could do it on her own. I of corse aposed to this and followed long any way despite her objections.
Athough we had ventured deep into the caves by now, both of us were dirty and tired and for the past half hour we had been trying to get back, all the wile she was denying getting us lost in the first place. In a way I found it rather cute and amusing the way she was so defensive, I have to admit. But when she had fallen off of a deep cavern crest I didn’t wait or think before going after her. “Ciruce look out!“. The words ecoed off the walls that day, she stared up with me with blue eyes, I could tell she was scared. She saw for the first time, the first female had seen my true form that day. . I imditly let go of her,(when she had fallen I had graped her so she didn’t hit the ground and I had instead) panic swept over me. It was over, everything, she had seen what I was..I remember I was so blank, not knowing what to do . I wanted her to scream , yell or hit or cry, but she stared at me. I hated it I wanted her to do something, each passing second in that silent was torcher for my every being. I didn’t know what to say or do, Agen I felt lost for words, for the first time I really didn’t know what to do, I just waited.
what she did next wasn’t at all what I expected, I thought she would know what I was, every one knew what I was. But she was afraid, I felt it, she was tarified of me. But she didn’t run away, she didn’t leave. -blocked-be there. My depressed state turned to anger. That I remember well, the way I had constantly tried to destroy Kayu now focused on her, not only the anger tord myself. But every one around me had started to serge. AT that moment I didn’t care, I wouldn’t let her go, if she couldn’t accsept me on her own, I would make her. I refused to lose her, I refused to let her go.
“don’t look at me!
“Why arnt you running!? I TOLD YOU TO GET AWAY”
“If I destroy you and then destroy myself will you be happy then?! Will you be satisfied If I die to!”
I remember he face when I lost full controle, when she stepd forward from the place she had remained, I had lost it, controlle ment nothing to me now. I didn’t care if I destroyed her, she deserved it.
She was crying, even with the wounds I had inflicted on her, and the tears that stained her face she was still beautiful to me. I would have killed her, I would have destroyed that hole cave if it hadn’t been for her scream. I asked her to scream, she never did. She didn’t beg or plead and it angered me, I knew inside it was destroying me. But the person I thought, I blamed for my actions, the girl who had destroyed and twisted my life, shattered everything I had ever been would soon atempt to stitch the peaces up agen.
“It dosent matter to me, you told me to be open, you said you wanted to hear what I thought, you said you wanted to hear my insalts and you wount care. ..I care, and I want you to care too, it dosent matter! I want to know you, I want to make you smile and laugh, I want to know you Yoa, I don’t care if im being selfish, but I wont leave, I wont run away no matter how much I want to, I want to be here for you, I want you to be able to tell me anything . I want to be with you forever”
Thoughs were the words I so despritly wanted to hear, the words I needed to hear…that anger inside of me, that hate and descust vanished as quickly as it had came. I was sickend with myself, descusted on what I had done to her. But , now, the girl I had been determined to beat, had turned into something much more to me then I would have ever imagined. But she would also be, what would destroy me in the end.
I owed her an explination, so I told her what she needed to know and nothing more. That’s when Kayu had found us, Ciruse was confused on how he could have found us, I knew Kayu had been looking for me when the storm hit. Kayu didn’t have to ask, he knew what had happened, he had always known what his eyes couldn’t see his other sences could read. He looked at Curiuse, a spark of Jelousey serged threw me but I knew he was just trying to help as he asked Ciruse if she was ok. That jelousey to this day would never vanish, in fact it grew.
Criuse started to run away after that, I couldn’t help but chase after her, over and over and over agen she ran, she was afraid of me. I refused to think of that and denyed it, Kayu saw my furstration and agreed to help me find her when she fled. After a wile, I had noticed, Kayu was the one who always came back with ciruse, weather he was beat up from saveing her from a street fight, or she was sobing miserbly and clinging to him…even at times when she seemed perfectly fine I couldn’t help but be suspicious.. Something was going on and I pied Kayu to find out.
“what did you do to her?!”
“I didn’t do anything, I found her didn’t I”
“Lier, why is she always with you now!? Answer me!”
Kayu was hideing something, I could tell and it made me furious. In the end I got my way like always, he told me. Ciruse had tried to get close to Kayu the way I wanted her to be to me. But Kayu didn’t care for her, often reminding her on what would happen even if he did like her. But Cuiruse was more determined to become close to Kayu, that’s why she was runing away . She didn’t want me to find out that the feelings I desired from her were not for me but another..My half brother.
I was shocked, but that turned into rage, I would destroy Kayu, it didn’t matter, he had always beenn the problem, destroying everything I had.
“ANd you expect me to let you live?!”
“Yoa I did nothing and you know it”
“ Lier, you deserved to suffer long ago but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, letting you live is only causing more pain!
I didn’t hurt Kayu, I knew it wasn’t his fault I was just destroyed. Mental broken and shattered into piaces, Ciruse had come to see Kayu, unable to face her , I only could shoot a cold glare at Kayu, I wished I could shoot dagers out of my eyes. If I could kayu would have been hit by so many knifes I would be forced to use forks.
Athough Kayu knew what I was going to do, he played along with it. I didn’t leave entirely, Instead I lissoned into their conversation. Ciruse had asked if I was ok, Kayu as always just didn’t answer. Even though it was small talk, I still flamed in anger and jelousey. Having to hold myself back from riping Kayu to shreds then and there, I had to remind myself… I had to see it for myself.
“Did Yoa find out about us?”
“..us? You mean you?”
“….b-But I thought you-me-us, I thought you understood”
“I understood Ciruse, but its my brother who has feelings for you, not me”
at the same time as that, I hated kayu for hurting Ciruse and was relifed at the same time.
“I know, you know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt yoa”
“But you are, and you continue to, avoiding it is foolish Ciruse, if you know Yoa well he will find out. “
“..I don’t care! I love you “
Thoughs were the words I wanted to hear most for Ciruse. I don’t remember what happened after that, I remember the fire, but that is it. Kayu never agen talked about Ciruse, and nor did I. I keeped my feelings dorment now, the women who was once so big in my life now hiddin from the world. And all I had known about her, grows vivid and fades more with each passing day. But the pain and confuion that she brang lingers in me and only grows , I wait for the day that it will consome me. But thoughs thoughts are barried deep withing my mind.
Years past, I had began to get interested in a women by the name of Vixan, I had found leads and wanted to know what exactly was going on. For you see, I now had a title as a gardion angel, with no idea how I got to be one I only had to obay orders and was asined to a women named Vixan, but when I looked up on her, she had died. (witch is odd because normaly angels get asined to dead people 0.o). So I went to the next best thing, figuring it was her reincarnation. Unfortitly I was not prepared to meet the women I was asined to…She called herself Speck, she was the most high strung and insane girl I had ever met. And only after the first 30 mintes of knowing her I had already grown a large feeling of dislike, she didn’t seem to take to me eather.
After being a bit surprised that Speck had no idea who Vixan was, among the other questions I was serching for the answer for, we some how got stuck together, and soon she would become my closest partner and one of my closet friends.
My life soon turned even more chaotic with the new arivle of Speck. And athough I admited freely I liked her style of living, and quickly took to her fast moving ways.
Athough once agen my life would take a sudon turn with the new arivle of a women named Arra. Finding myself lost in the past with her, I once agen came to face my brother who I hadn’t seen in a very long time, but who flooded my memorys. It wasn’t long till Arragot close to me like Ciruse had, and despite my fear of her falling for Kayu, at the same time I didn’t care. I care if she liked Kayu, I would hate her as well. But still my competitive and jelouse ways often took the best of me, however nothing would turn into what Ciruse had accomplished, and that was my only thought to continue to stay by Arra.
