Because I Have a Voice

Hearts and rainbows all the way - you’re a total romantic.

Animal lust is nice, but you’d rather be in love with someone before you start tearing them apart. When you’re in a relationship, you generally treat the other person really well. You don’t cheat, and you’re respectful of their differences. And when you’re not in a relationship, you’re selective about the people you choose to kiss or even get crushes on.

You’ve got a great thing going on, but don’t be afraid of letting that animal side come out every now and then. A couple bite marks never hurt anyone (much).

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Why lie? You’ve got nothing to hide. Honesty is your policy, and you’re not afraid if everyone knows the truth – no matter how awkward or embarrassing it might be.

Jess, from Girl, Going on 17, Pants on Fire, could learn a lot from you. She’s got a mess of stress – a weird fight with her boyfriend, a sadistic new English teacher – and the more she tries to make things better, the more tangled she gets in her web of frantic lies. If she was a nice truth-teller like you, she wouldn’t be in this mess (though of course it wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining).

Check her out here!

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You’re very open with people, which is great, but sometimes those people are wearing brass knuckles, which is not great.

You tend to think that people are generally good at heart, and because of that, you’re very trusting. People are drawn to your positive attitude and you tend to make friends easily. (You might also be a little vain, but hey, who could blame you? You’re a good-looking individual, and you have a right to be a little cocky about it.)

So where could you go wrong? Well, if you’re too friendly, you might not be on alert for those folks you really shouldn’t trust. So try to use more caution when you meet new people. And quit trading gym socks with strangers. That’s just plain gross.

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You’re a party in a can. In a person.

For a night out to be fun, it’s gotta have high energy and loud music. You love to have a good time, and you’ll do everything you can to make sure your friends are keeping up with you. You need friends who’ll be up for anything you are.

We’ve got the perfect friend in mind. She’ll do anything you say – and whenever you need her, you’ll always know just where to find her. Only thing is, she’s not really a person. She’s a cool site designed just for girls like you. We know you’ll love it. Check it out!

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You could be the next American Idol – if all the episodes were taped in a locker room.

Why? You’re a fantastic, Grammy Award-winning singer, but for some reason it only works when you’re taking a shower. Step out from behind the vinyl curtain and your singing skills fall somewhere between so-so and pretty great. If you can figure out a way to bring your act out of the shower, we’ll all be very impressed. In the meantime, keep on singing into the shower bottle – it sounds wonderful!

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You love to get pampered, take lots of naps, and eat mashed bananas. Okay, we’re only speculating on the mashed bananas.

And really, there's nothing wrong with that stuff. You love to be comfortable and close to the people you love. That stuff's all great! Just be sure to change your diaper every once in a while.

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You’ve got a couple dirty spots on an otherwise squeaky clean record. Careful – one wild night and you’ll muck everything up.

On the eSPIN Purity Scale (patent pending), you score 5 Purity Points out of 6. Which makes you 83% pure, give or take a couple tequila shots. You’ve got a little bit of tarnish on your otherwise sparkling personal history. Not bad! We’re impressed.

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You’ve got that smooth, mature kind of sexiness that does really well at Sudoku conventions or just about anywhere.

You’ve got a bit of the Geek in you, which you stealthily use to your advantage. After all, there’s nothing sexier than being smart about what you want and going after it. You have the potential to wow ‘em with your choice words and profound insight. Just be sure to find a suitable balance between confidence and kindness. Have courage to speak your mind, but don’t forget about giving all your honeys all the love and attention they deserve. (After all, they were smart enough to go for you.)

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Dude, you got it made. Everyone loves a chimp. They’re smart, cool and fun to watch, and no one can resist their charm.

While you might not be the hottest-looking babe in the animal kingdom, you make up for it in personality. Seriously, when was the last time you met a boring chimpanzee? Just watch that negative attitude (i.e., don’t fling poo), and you’ll do fine.

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You’ve done it: you’ve fallen for the
last person on earth you’d ever thought you’d like in that way. Don’t
be too surprised, though. Everyone knows there’s a thin line between
love and hate, and your heart just crossed it. So, are your chances of nabbing your crush any good? Well, maybe – but you’ll have to be the
one to declare the truce.

If you love forbidden love (and we know you do), you must see the ultimate forbidden love story – Blood and Chocolate. It’s about a beautiful young werewolf who dares to fall in love with a man. It’s haunting and passionate, and it might even offer you some tips for scoring your own forbidden crush.

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Congratulations on getting to the end of the quiz! Why don’t you go lie down for a while?

Need a little energy boost? Try some of these expert tips: do some exercise and stretches, eat some complex carbohydrates, or take a quick nap for no more than 20 minutes. Or just try flirting with some of the hotties on eSPINtheBottle. That’ll get your heart pumping. Right? (Sorry, shameless self promotion.)

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God, you’re such an ass. (Get it? 'Cause an ass is a donkey, and a donkey is the mascot of the Democratic party? Funny, right? Whatever. Enjoy your free social services.)

Democrats are great, because they're usually sympathetic to all types of people, they're generous, and they're pretty good dancers. Most of the time.

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