Dona Greece Camporazo-Tolones, eldest daughter of Vibrations columnist, shared her thoughts on how couples could have a closer relationship among themselves in September 24, 2006 sacrament meeting of La Carlota First Branch, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as one of the 3 speakers.
Dona pointed out the purpose why we are here on earth, that is, to have a family of our own. Though she had only one daughter, she bewailed that it is not easy for her to have a family of her own because her husband does not have a permanent job to support them. Her husband is just a humble tryke driver. She noticed that many Filipino families are miserable that eventually led to separation of husband and wife, annulment of marriage, among others.
However, she was optimistic. She expressed that it is not too late to remedy those familial maladies, for there are ways in which couples could do to have a good closer relationship. Based on her occasional reading, she learned the following ten principles, which she believed are workable:
A common concern that many couples express is their partner "doesn’t listen" or "refuses to understand." Behind this complaint is the desire of one partner to be truly understood by the other. When one yells, the other should listen because when two people yell, there is no communication.
Couples should have faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Pray together. Attend Church and temple together. Study the scriptures together. Their faith in God is one that binds them together.
As stated in Collosians 3:13: "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgive you." Thus, the path that leads to healing from lingering hurt is forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or whitewashing what was happened, but rather it is letting go of the hurt on with the relationship.
Taking the initiative for things together seems to get forgotten and neglected whenever a couple is married.
The ability to feel remorse – that sense of guilt over a wrong one has done. Positive force drives a spouse to admit a wrong. Apology and forgiveness make things right. To say "I’m sorry" generates respect, love for partner.
One of the most important ways to deepen love is through time. A couple cannot grow in love without spending time together. Time really matters.
Many spouses say that they feel underappreciated and even rejected by their partner, /the couples should praise each other. They should be told about their strengths and the things they do well and they need to be told early and often. Acceptance, support and simple compliments mean so much to the other.
Couple should talk openly. Success is attained when problems are being talked about and the differences as they arise before they are too late.
Couples who remain close are constantly growing and have updated knowledge of the world around them
And finally every marriage benefits greatly when couples maintain a sense of humor. Maintaining a sense of humor can take the sting out of disappointment, of the bite out of an argument. Healthy couples know there is wisdom in simply laughing away some issues and problems.
The author was touched of the simplicity of his daughter’s talk. These principles of Listening, Faith, Forgiveness, Initiative, Remorse, Time, Praise, Talk, Grow, and Humor edify couples’ relationship closer and even bonder when practically carried on.
(Published 25 September 2006 Negros Daily Bulletin)
Posted December 2006 by Gil Camporazo _____________