Navigation:
It's my turn...
I guess it's time for me to add some support for someone else out there. I've benefitted so much from those other brave people who have put up sites documenting their challenges and successes....maybe sharing mine will help someone else.
PLEASE remember to sign my guestbook, so I'll know you stopped by!
My Story
I grew up the youngest child of eight in a close family. My parents are hard-working, conservative people who made their family a priority. My mother was a stay-at-home-mom for most of my childhood years, though she had a lot of physical problems and was in and out of the hospital a lot. I had plenty of responsible older siblings to help care for me while my mother was away, and I also spent time with my grandparents on occasion.
I pretty much always had trouble with my weight. When I was a child my brothers made up nicknames for me: tv tummy and fatty toad, were what they called me to tease and annoy me (aren't brothers the greatest??). I don't ever remember being made to feel bad about things by my parents though. Food wasn't rationed nor was I ever disciplined over weight/food issues. Looking back, I think I was a pretty cute little girl and I don't think I was all that big....a little chubby as a toddler perhaps, but far from "fat". However, I had taught myself that I was a fat girl and all through my childhood and teenage years I knew I was bigger than my friends. I didn't like shopping for clothes because I wore bigger sizes and sometimes had a hard time finding things to fit my curvey shape....I always felt I had too big of hips, though my waist was quite trim. I had more of a womanly shape at a young age.
I met my DH when I was 16 years old and was immediately smitten. We married several years later and then "real life" set in. At first our married life was a dream come true but soon issues from my husband's childhood started surfacing in unpleasant ways. We went through a good 10 to 12 years of rough road - lots of therapy and personal work - before arriving in the sun again. Now things are going well for us, and I'm so glad I stuck it out and worked through it. Those hard years are part of the puzzle in my weight issues though. My self esteem plummeted and I treated myself poorly. I used food as a coping tool and as a way to shield and protect myself. Those reflexes STILL kick in and it's a struggle for me to relearn more healthy ways of dealing with stress. I know that I had the genetic propensity toward weight gain and some of my own childhood stresses, so who knows what would have happened if our married life was a fairy tale straight through - I don't blame my husband or our problems, but I know they influenced me and have played a part in how I view myself and how I cope with life.
Hypertension, heart disease and diabetes run in my family, so I know I need to do my best to get AND REMAIN healthy before any of these things really become an issue for me. My father was recently diagnosed with Type II diabetes even though he has been at a healthy weight for many years. He has been what I consider to be healthy and active, and STILL ended up getting it. I also had gestational diabetes while I was expecting my second child, so I know that I need to do all that I can to reduce my risk factors or someday I could be dealing with this disease permanently.